Useless

[Bloody_Obsession]

Here I am, just trying to enjoy my day off but find myself falling deeper and deeper into depression. Eventually, I remember that I have always had a place that was willing to accept me for all that I am with no questions at... Teen Help. So, I wondered back today after quite some time and I forgot about how truly amazing this place is. I love being able to help others and getting help in return.

I haven't really cut lately, so that's not why I wondered back but it is nice to help out those who are still currently going thru the pain of stopping.

Now, so far it seems as though I am posting this in the totally wrong section, but I swear I'm not. I've gone thru and commented on pretty much everybody's post on cutting and being gay that I can because I know about each of those topics. The other I know quite a bit about it being raped and abused.

My second father raped me when I was six. I was raped two summers ago while spending the summer with my mother and about a year ago when I was in college. Two of those times I ended up pregnant and due to the stress of the situation, lost the babies. All I want to do is help out anybody and everybody who has ever been thru that but every time I read anything about it, my heart starts racing and breathing becomes harder.

Same with the abuse situation. I've been thru it all with just about everybody in my family and in past relationships-- whether it be emotionally or physically. And just like any other normal person, I still have my nightmares and wake up crying but my goal is to help others.

So here I sit, wishing I could help but I'm left feeling completely useless. I'm sorry guys. I really, really do wanna help because I can understand where all of you are coming from.

[Emily.]

Hey there Sammie.

I think it's great that you want to help people who are going through some of the same things you have dealt with. And it's completely okay if you find it hard sometimes. Reading about what other people have gone through can really have an effect on us sometimes and you're not alone in that at all.

I just wanted to add that sometimes we have to take care of ourselves before we can help others. It seems like you have really healed and overcome your self-harm and dealing with sexuality, but maybe you need more time in overcoming the abuse. Everyone heals at their own pace and there is no time limit on it. It doesn't make you useless at all. You are incredibly strong for what you have come through and with time things will get easier. Have you ever given therapy a try? It can really help you continue healing from the abuse. And you deserve that.

I hope you're doing okay. You can PM me anytime.
<3 Emily

[Casey.]

Sammie,

Welcome back. I remember when you were on here in the past. I think it's great that you want to help others, but sometimes you have to work on helping yourself first. There are some threads that I can't help in at all, and I'm an R/A mod. I still get triggered too. But I've learned that unless I deal with my demons, I can't help others face theirs.

My point is, sometimes it's easier to help someone with something we have dealt with, that we're okay with to an extent, then it is to help with things that we have not yet coped with. You are not useless, and sometimes just having support, and knowing someone else gets it can help. So don't feel bad that you can't give advice just yet. You can still give support if you want to.

Hang in there Sammie. If you need anything, don't hesitate to pm me.

[Soliloquy]

Hi Sammie, I understand where you're coming from. When I am feeling particularly depressed, or am remembering past physical abuse, I find it difficult to give advice on these topics. It can be very painful and triggering.

Like you, I used to beat myself up about it. Now, however, I do my best to remember that I just need some time to gather my thoughts when I feel like that. I will often go onto an unrelated forum and try to help there.

You are not useless. It is okay if you can't give advice on this forum just yet. You are contributing in other ways, which is great!

Giving advice and lending support to others is a wonderful thing, but that doesn't mean we're supposed to tune out all our feelings, just because we know where someone is coming from. Sometimes we need to acknowledge when we're feeling overwhelmed and admit to ourselves that maybe we can't give advice on that subject at that moment. That is perfectly fine. Even as a HelpLINK Mentor, I've had to walk away from a few requests and go back to them later because they were just too much for me at a given time.

Take care! And welcome back! I'm glad you've re-discovered TeenHelp!

[Bloody_Obsession]

Thank you guys for being so understanding. I feel a little bit better about the situation now. You guys are great!