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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
might Offline
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Name: Megan
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Unhappy Abusive Parents And No Escape- FOR LIFE - June 27th 2010, 03:19 AM

My friend we shall call Jenna for privacy sake.
Jenna is Brazilian and she is not a citizen. She is only legal in America under her parents' control.
Her parents are emotionally abusive in many ways.
They put her down.
They tell her she will be the failure of the family
They obsess over her grades in school to the point of insanity.
She will never be free of them because she is not a citizen and even if she moves out, if she disobeys in any way she will be sent back to Brazil

Worst of all-

These parents discourage Jenna of any and all creativity
These are skills she needs to survive in today's world. Everyone is looking for new solutions, new ideas, new everything.

Even worse-

Jenna got diagnosed with chemical depression from a family psychologist who came to our school. She told her parents she needed help and they thought it was just more American bullshit and they laughed.

Her parents' culture is ruining not only Jenna's life NOW, but her future.

Most of us who experience abuse are happy to know that as soon as we are 18 we are OUT OF THAT HELL HOLE.

Jenna is forced to do follow her parents' orders for her entire life

I don't know how to help her. Her parents are teaching her all the wrong things, from the smallest little thing like when Jenna had pneumonia her mother told her to drink milk, not orange juice, you need calcium when most everyone else knows that ORANGE JUICE HAS VITAMIN C AND HELPS WITH PNEUMONIA WHEN MILK CAUSES FLEM AND MAKES IT WORSE.

I'm going insane with sadness over this. HELP!

Last edited by might; June 27th 2010 at 03:28 AM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
sincitysoul Offline
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Re: Abusive Parents And No Escape- FOR LIFE - June 28th 2010, 03:27 PM

Hi Megan

If possible, you could help Jenna look into becoming a US citizen, without her parents. I'm not sure of the process, but it sounds like it would be a good idea for her to explore.


The biggest part of what you can do for Jenna is just be her friend. Be there for her when she's upset at her parents, be there when she's sick. Sometimes what a person really needs is just to know that someone is there for them, and is on their side.



Hope this helps - you (or Jenna) need to talk, my inbox is open
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Abusive Parents And No Escape- FOR LIFE - June 29th 2010, 03:53 PM

Hey there Megan.

It sounds like you are a really good friend. I definitely agree with the above post, looking into helping Jenna become a US citizen is a good idea. I'm sure it's quite the process, but even helping her get started will mean a lot.

Also, if you think her home is abusive and that Jenna is in danger, don't hesitate to call social services. It doesn't matter that she and her parents aren't legal citizens, they can still help make sure Jenna's safe.

As for her not being able to move out at 18, I think she should be able to. I know very little about visas and such so this is just what I could find via google. But, she should be able apply for a student visa after she becomes a legal adult and it wouldn't be connected to her parent's visas at all. She could study at whatever college/university/etc. that she wanted to.

I hope this helps. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.
<3 Emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
might Offline
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Re: Abusive Parents And No Escape- FOR LIFE - July 1st 2010, 06:08 PM

Thank you for these ideas I am so grateful.
Also, Jenna can move out but more so what I mean is her parents will choose where she goes to college and what for, so they are still controlling her. She wants to KEEP her Brazilian citizenship because she is proud of that, she feels she would lose herself if she became a US Citizen.
So yea I will look into the student Visa



hey babe
I am your reflection
your pain without the gain
thrown back at you
in the ugliest way
I take the ugly
and I make it beautiful
I am no drug
I am no fake
I am reality
I am a survivor.
   
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Re: Abusive Parents And No Escape- FOR LIFE - July 2nd 2010, 01:58 AM

Hey. I can't give any advice about helping to free this girl from her parents, because I know nothing about becoming a citizen in the US or anything, sadly.
What I can say is that one of the things she's going to need most is a friend, & it sounds like you're a terrific friend to have.
I wish you and your friend luck. And I'm sorry I couldn't be much help.
   
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