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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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fear of postmen - November 5th 2010, 07:17 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i have this really bad fear of postmen, to the point where if i am on the same side as the road as the postman i have to cross the road, i cant be in the same building as the postman either, the other day at college this week we was comming into college from break and as we came in a postman walked in, i wanted to run, wanted to go anywhere but the lobby at college but i couldnt go anywhere. im scared that if i get near a postman they will do what my postman done to me, i get so scared i cross the street to get away from the postman, at college all i could do in the lobby was back away it didnt really help, i dont see my old postman anymore, i want to stop being scared of postmen but i cant, will i always be scared of them or will some day will i stop being scared of postmen ? i cant even go in a post office, im scared to enter a post office, and its all because what the postman done, will i always be like this or will one day will just like stop being scared of postmen ? and be able to go into a postoffice ?



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Re: fear of postmen - November 6th 2010, 12:07 AM

Hey -

With a lot of hard work, I definitely think that one day you'll be able to walk into a post office without being afraid. There's no set time limit on healing after abuse; some people heal quickly, others take longer to recover. It largely depends on your access to support, whether you've reached out for help and so on. The sooner you seek help and support, the faster the healing process goes.. similarly, waiting a long time before telling someone what happened, and bottling up thoughts and feelings, is going to make it a lot harder to move on from what happened.

So that's something I definitely want you to think about - talking to someone about what you went through with your old postman. At first, it's going to be really scary. Talking about painful memories and overwhelming feelings is difficult, but with practice it does get easier over time. The most important thing to do is talk about it. Let out everything that's in your head, talk as much as you need to. Give yourself permission to work through these thoughts and feelings, and don't suppress - keep talking.

Counseling is something you may want to consider; it's a safe place in which you can talk about what's in your head, with a professional who knows how to help. Find a friend, build up a strong support system of people you can text, call, or see when you feel triggered or need to talk, or even if you just don't want to be alone. Support is invaluable to the healing process.

Right now it's going to be hard to understand that not every postman will hurt you - because you've had some bad experiences in the past, it may take some time to overcome this fear. When you feel triggered, try repeating to yourself out loud that you're safe, that this postman isn't going to hurt you, that not every postman is bad like your old one. Saying things out loud repetitively can help you remember it, and believe it as well.

Hang in there, I'm around if you ever want to talk. Take good care of yoursrelf.



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Re: fear of postmen - November 14th 2010, 09:05 PM

a few nights i had a dream (it was more of a nightmare) about the postman and me telling my mum, it was horrid - i dreamnt that my mum was cuddeld up to me in my bed and i just started crying and my mum asked me what was wrong and i told her and then my dream got graphic, really graphic, the postman had followe me up the stiars after ringing on my doorbell, he was following me into my room then the postman was in bed with me touching me, my mum had gone and it was just me and the postman, my dream then got more graphic (dont really want to explain what i dreamnt next as its really triggering), i cant stop thinking about its been on my mind for the past 4 days.



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