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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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ShaShannon Offline
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Exclamation confused - November 13th 2010, 03:57 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm so hurt and confused. I can't talk to anybody. My couselors break confidentiality. Its frustrating. I was hurt and violated for 3 months by a student teacher. I feel so ashamed. I should have told that he was raping and beating me. How he stuck me in boiling hot water after he raped me. How he called and stalked me. He had my address phone number. He knew my schedule for school. Then I trusted him. I developed feelings. Its not that I love him its the fact that told him most of my issues at home. He took advantage of that. So now im hurt and confused. Is it normal to have feelings for somebody that hurt me?
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Re: confused - November 14th 2010, 07:16 PM

I was once in an abusive relationship so i understand having feelings for someone who hurt you. PM me I'm here for you girl.
Praying for ya too!
   
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Re: confused - November 14th 2010, 10:05 PM

Hey there, Shannon.

I'm sorry your student teacher took advantage of you in this way. What he did was wrong and a complete violation of your trust. I hope you know you are in no way to blame and you have no reason to feel ashamed. And it's okay that you weren't able to tell. Abuse is a really hard thing to talk about.

If you can, I do think it would be good to tell your parents about what happened. I know it's scary, but you really deserve to have their support, Shannon. You can do this. And you can always write them a letter if you don't feel like you can say it out loud. I think you should talk to your counselors, too. They really are there to help you and if you are a minor I do think they are legally bound to report it. They have to make sure he can't hurt anyone else the way he hurt you. You can help stop that, hun.

Also, it's completely okay that you have feelings for him, Shannon. You trusted him and were able to open up to him. It's only natural that you would have some feelings for him. If it makes you feel any better, you're not alone in this. I've always had mixed feelings about the person who hurt me, too.

I hope you're doing okay right now. Please don't be afraid to reach out for help and you can always PM me if you need to talk.
<3 Emily


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but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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Re: confused - November 14th 2010, 10:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily. View Post
Hey there, Shannon.

I'm sorry your student teacher took advantage of you in this way. What he did was wrong and a complete violation of your trust. I hope you know you are in no way to blame and you have no reason to feel ashamed. And it's okay that you weren't able to tell. Abuse is a really hard thing to talk about.

If you can, I do think it would be good to tell your parents about what happened. I know it's scary, but you really deserve to have their support, Shannon. You can do this. And you can always write them a letter if you don't feel like you can say it out loud. I think you should talk to your counselors, too. They really are there to help you and if you are a minor I do think they are legally bound to report it. They have to make sure he can't hurt anyone else the way he hurt you. You can help stop that, hun.

Also, it's completely okay that you have feelings for him, Shannon. You trusted him and were able to open up to him. It's only natural that you would have some feelings for him. If it makes you feel any better, you're not alone in this. I've always had mixed feelings about the person who hurt me, too.

I hope you're doing okay right now. Please don't be afraid to reach out for help and you can always PM me if you need to talk.
<3 Emily
I know they have to report and I reported it but now he's telling the details of the event. He told my parents and the counselors. The detective said he's not suppose to tell anyone. DCS told a friend so now half of my school knows. I'm really hurt.
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Re: confused - November 15th 2010, 07:39 PM

I'm really sorry people spread this around, Shannon. They shouldn't have done that. Keep you're head up though, okay? You did the right thing and I'm really proud of you for reporting what happened. That takes so much strength and courage.

You'll get through this and I'm here if you ever want to talk. Don't give up.
<3 Em


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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Re: confused - November 15th 2010, 07:46 PM

They don't believe I was raped because I didn't tell them the whole story at one. That hurts. I was scared when I told them the little information I could. Now I feel bad that I told them at all. I should have told them all of the information from the beginning. Now I feel really bad because they don't believe me and I should have told them.
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Re: confused - November 16th 2010, 02:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaShannon View Post
They don't believe I was raped because I didn't tell them the whole story at one. That hurts. I was scared when I told them the little information I could. Now I feel bad that I told them at all. I should have told them all of the information from the beginning. Now I feel really bad because they don't believe me and I should have told them.
I understand how you're feeling. When I was sexually abused, at first when I first told people I only told a little bit of what happened. And when I'd tell them more they'd automatically think I'm lying because I didn't say all of it before. People just don't understand that it takes so much guts to talk about it the first time, and even just all of it, and that we need time to talk fully about it. I think you need to bring that to their attention. What he did is not okay, and don't ever blame yourself or feel ashamed of yourself. It's not your fault.
I hope things get better and If you need anyone to talk to or anything feel free to message me.


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