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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Today I made a police report - February 11th 2011, 10:55 PM

A friend of mine fingered me in my sleep. I told the police today. I'm getting a lot of shit for it. That its going to fuck up his life and that I'm a bad person and he doesn't deserve it.
Help.
I feel terrible.


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"Setting boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation - although some people will say they are setting boundaries, when in fact they are attempting to manipulate. The difference between setting a boundary in a healthy way and manipulating is: when we set a boundary we let go of the outcome."

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Today I made a police report - February 11th 2011, 11:06 PM

Please don't feel terrible. What this person did was wrong and you don't deserve to be treated like this after what they did.

Make sure not to blame yourself, you're doing the right thing and they were in the wrong. It was very brave of you to go to the police too and I hope everything goes well for you

Take care
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Today I made a police report - February 11th 2011, 11:08 PM

I agree with Cara. What they did was unacceptable. If people are bugging you because of it just remember that they don't understand. You did the right thing.


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Re: Today I made a police report - February 11th 2011, 11:11 PM

Do NOT feel bad.
He made the decision to do that you. He knew it was wrong. He knew there could be consequences. He deserves the consequences.
It'll be ok! If you need to talk you can always PM me.
Just know it wasn't your fault and you are doing the right thing!!!


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Re: Today I made a police report - February 11th 2011, 11:13 PM

He does deserve it, that is unacceptable. He did it without your permission and does deserve what he is going to get.
Please don't feel bad, you did the right thing! Who knows, if he got away with it he may have done worse things later on.
Stay strong <3


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Re: Today I made a police report - February 11th 2011, 11:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic. View Post
Do NOT feel bad.
He made the decision to do that you. He knew it was wrong. He knew there could be consequences. He deserves the consequences.
It'll be ok! If you need to talk you can always PM me.
Just know it wasn't your fault and you are doing the right thing!!!
Its just today a friend of mine talked to him about it and he said he felt really guilty and would never do it again and is really annoyed that it keeps coming up. I just feel like I've condemed him. I keep being told I've fucked up his entire life. And what if he was telling the truth, I've already told. now its too late. I'm being told I dont care cause I didnt do enough to talk to him about it after.


http://strigidaeofchrono.deviantart.com/
"Setting boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation - although some people will say they are setting boundaries, when in fact they are attempting to manipulate. The difference between setting a boundary in a healthy way and manipulating is: when we set a boundary we let go of the outcome."

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

Colonel Meow
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Today I made a police report - February 12th 2011, 03:23 AM

Blatext hes playing with your emotions he wants you to feel sorry for him but DO NOT. HE DID IT AND NOW HAS TO PAY FOR WHAT HE DID EVEN IF HE FEELS BAD FOR WHAT HE DID HE MUST PAY FOR WHAT HE DID OWN UP TO IT SO GO TO THE POLICE.

BLATEXT YOU DID NOT RUIN HIS LIFE HE RUINED HIS OWN LIFE BY DOING THAT TO YOU. HE RUINED HIS OWN LIFE NOT YOU IM SERIOUS. SO GET HIM CHARGED AND GO TO THE POLICE GET HIM ARRESTED. WHAT HE DID TO YOU WAS WRONG AND HE MUST PAY.

DONT FEEL GUILTY YOU DID NOT NEED TO TALK TO HIM AFTER HE DID IT THERE WAS NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT HE DID IT AND CHOOSE TO DO IT ALL ON HIS OWN NOT YOUR FAULT. IGNORE THOSE PEOPLE YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING IM SERIOUS TALK YOU YOUR PARENTS IM SURE THERE ON YOUR SIDE.

HE RUINED HIS OWN LIFE ALL ON HIS OWN YOU DID NOT YOU DID NOT YOU DID NOT YOU DID NOT AND HE DESERVES THE Consequence FOR WHAT HE DID SO DONT LET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT YOUR DOING A GOOD THING BY TELLING THE POLICE AND IM SURE YOUR PARENTS THINK SO TOO SO JUST IGNORE PEOPLE THAT SAY YOUR DOING THE WRONG THING BECASUE YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING. HUGGSS PM ME IF YOU NEED ANY THING. HUGGS
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Re: Today I made a police report - February 12th 2011, 08:41 PM

That happened to me the first time. Only I wasn't really asleep. I was scared. Please don't blame yourself. It is not your fault. You are in NO way to blame. You are not in the wrong here. He is wrong for having done it to you. I think more of us wish we were as strong and brave as you for having the courage to tell someone. Stay strong. You did the right thing.
   
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Re: Today I made a police report - February 12th 2011, 09:06 PM

He should feel terrible. No one has the right to touch you that way without your permission, it was wrong of him and absolutely unacceptable. Don't let anyone make you out to be the 'bad guy' in this situation; you did the right thing, and the brave thing, by reporting him. That was sexual assault, and he deserves to be called out for it in every way.
   
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Re: Today I made a police report - February 13th 2011, 02:01 AM

You were in the right position to file a report. That is sexual abuse, and the person deserves to be punished for doing that to you.
You are not a horrible person.
   
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Re: Today I made a police report - February 13th 2011, 03:46 AM

You did the right thing. <3


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Re: Today I made a police report - February 13th 2011, 04:39 AM

You indeed did the right thing Blatext. He is only regretting it now because he is getting in trouble. Who knows what would've happened if you hadn't done anything? Maybe he would've bragged about it, twisting the story to make you seem like a slut? Maybe he would've tried it again?

I hope that he will get what he deserves, and I hope that comments made by people who are ignorant of the situation won't bring you down and cause you to regret.

You are very brave, you know that? That, and you're making a statement to everyone else that has thoughts about sexually abusing you.. "That you're not going to take it quietly"
   
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Re: Today I made a police report - February 13th 2011, 10:43 AM

He deserved it, he is trying to make you feel bad, and other people seem to be going with that.. but ignore it. It's unacceptable what he has done and any consequences are his OWN doing. <3


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Re: Today I made a police report - February 13th 2011, 02:41 PM

I'm going to put this in the simplest way possible without all the extra opinions contradicting you:
Choices have consequences. He made the choice to do something illegal. He's now facing the legal implications. Neither he nor anyone else have anyone to blame but him. Regardless of whatever guilt he may feel or whatever supposed progress you'd have made with him if you had talked, he did something illegal and is now facing the consequences for it. If he really didn't want to have to go through this he shouldn't have sexually abused you, it's that simple.


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Re: Today I made a police report - February 13th 2011, 02:52 PM

You did the right thing. Please don't let him or anyone make you think otherwise. It was his choice to do it. Chances are he would do it again ( either to you or someone else) if you didn't report. Also this type of behaviour does typically get worse as the guy gets away with more. You have stopped that. You have done a good thing. I know and understand what you are going through. It is unfairly tough, but stay strong. You can do this.

I had reported the guys who got me, thier families tried to blame me for it and also tried to get me to change my mind. I know the pressue you are feeling. Please if need to talk, you can pm me anytime. You are a brave and strong girl.




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Re: Today I made a police report - February 14th 2011, 12:22 PM

I didn't do anything and he bragged about sleeping with me, my ex boyfriend is still best friends with him, but hates me. People just think I'm a slut and it hurts. Much much more than if I had done something about it. I'm glad you were brave enough to tell, he has to learn that you're not just an object and now he'll pay. I'm sorry that people dont understand it's very hard for people to if they havnt been through it. Best of luck
   
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Smile Re: Today I made a police report - February 14th 2011, 01:54 PM

You did the right thing! He sexualy abused you, and you turned him in. What he did was wrong, and he knew that there would be consequences for it. He should not have done it, and that is what it comes down to. This is his fault, not yours. He is just trying to make you feel guilty.
Keep Strong <3

Trish
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Re: Today I made a police report - February 18th 2011, 05:19 PM

I'm proud of you for making a police report. You did the right thing and you have no reason to feel bad about it.
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Re: Today I made a police report - March 4th 2011, 02:25 AM

you did the right thing.
   
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Re: Today I made a police report - March 4th 2011, 06:14 AM

Always remember that it is not your fault
You made the desicion to report it and that must took a lot of courage
If you every need to talk feel free to pm me


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