Freaking Out

[Tonight]

My ex (we're still really close and great friends,he also knows what's been going on)has been freaking out since yesterday because he saw a suspicious truck drive back and forth outside my apartment building while he was on the balcony having a smoke.He remembered from conversations we had that I told him is was a red truck and now he's convinced it's the guy who's been raping me.I know he's only trying to protect me but he's trying to tell my mom and the police and he told his friend who I didn't want knowing.

Today we got into a huge argument and it honestly terrified me and I have no idea why.He was pissed off and yelling but I know that he would never hit me or anything but I was shaking and kinda just "zoned out" I don't even remember half of the argument.

I want to tell him that this isn't helping anything and is scaring me but when he argues with me I just go silent and I can't talk.I have no idea what to do.And now he's saying he's going to go find him with his friend and kill him.I'm freaking out

[Aletheia*]

Where in the world did you get that it's not helping anything? If a suspicious red truck is driving around outside of your apartment building, whom your ex-boyfriend could suspect is your rapist, he's doing the right thing. Rapist's never stop until their behind bars. If it really was the rapist who raped you, whose to say he doesn't try it again? IT CAN HAPPEN. I'm not trying to freak you out. But, of course you should be. There is a suspicious red truck around your apartment all the time. AND, your ex is doing the right thing by reporting it to the people who care: police and your mother. You might not have wanted them to know, but your safety always comes first. You might not be a lucky victim next time, a lot of girls aren't. Telling the police about it, and giving them a license plate number could land that guy in bars, if it is your rapist. I know it seems silly because you don't know who it is, but you won't know until something is done about it.

[Tonight]

I'm not trying to sound rude,but that's not really the advice I was looking for.I know it's a bad situation to be in and I'm trying to figure out what to do.

I was looking for advice on how to deal with my ex or calm him down or something.The situation with him is spiralling out of control and I was figureing maybe someone on here might have delt with a simular situation with someone they were close to and knew of how to deal with them.

[jenpiglet17]

Maybe I can help? I was in a similar situation a few months ago, although its my boyfriend, not ex

Basically, the guy that raped me... he liked walking up and down my street in front of my house (doesn't help that he lives down my street) with an airsoft gun and dressed in camo. My BF got/still is outraged that he would still come around me even after going to the police. BF said a bunch of things about what he wanted to do to him, etc. and honestly it scared me too. I told him that it would do more bad than good if he did something because he would be the one that started it, therefore the cops would set the blame on him, and put him in jail for assault/harassment/murder whatever the case may be. Where's the good in that if he's in jail and I'm by myself with him wandering around still? What if I needed someone to talk to about flashbacks? Jail's not a good place to be if he wants to help you. Letters and one phone call a day won't help very much, let alone the added stress that he's in jail. I told him that, and he agreed that it would be better for him to be here for me, than in a jail.

I hope this helps....

[Tonight]

Thanks.I'm going to try mentioning this to him tomorrow hopefully,if he comes over.