Filed a Police Report...

[Gidig]

Hey,

Soo, I filed a police report today and got a rape test thing, about the guy who's raped/sexually harassed me quite a few times.

I was emotionally okay with it, and actually proud of myself for going, until I had to tell the story over and over... now I'm reliving it in my head constantly. Flashbacks have already started again. The

The cop in the hospital asked me to do a "preliminary" phone something or other. She wanted me to do it tonight, and what they wanted me to do, is call the guy, and somehow talk about what happened and they record it. I don't want to talk to him. I can't talk to him. I just... I can't. They now want me to go in in the morning tomorrow and do it.

The other problem is I don't want to tell my mom, but I feel about not... I mean, I REALLY don't want to tell her. I feel like I have a life my mom doesn't know about, and this is in that realm, but things don't usually get this real...
I want to be independent. And I don't need the extra support, I need a therapist, and my friends have been 100% supportive as well, and surprisingly I'm being honest with them about it.

Idk what I'm looking for.. advice? Helpful comments? Anything, because I feel like I'm in hell right now...

[Anthropomorphic]

Just as long as you're able to be in control of things as much as is practical, I think you'll start to feel better as time goes on. Remember that when you're asked to recount what happened, you have a choice in if you say it or not (unless you're in court). Then, if you decide you can or should say it, do it at your own pace. Go slow, keep it steady.

I've never heard of having the victim call the attacker so soon on a recorded line just to drag out words. That seems rather insensitive to you, and I see no reason as to why anyone should be mad at you for refusing. I'm sure these people mean well, but I don't think they have a secure understanding of what you're actually going through or facing.

You're of age, so telling your mother is optional, of course. But in the realm of reality, it would be very difficult for you to keep all of this secret from her while you're trying to process it, possibly having to go to court to face your attacker and getting any other forms of help and support you need. You don't have to tell her right away (perhaps wait for things to settle down a little bit), but I think she has the right to know, even if you two haven't been on the best terms with each other. But if/when you tell her, treat it the same way you're treating things now: Take it slow, say what you think you need to say, and don't let her push you into details or facets that are too difficult to relive.

And, of course, you can PM me, Facebook me or call me any time. <3

[marleymarl]

First of all WELL DONE!!!! for telling someone. to be honest you have got past the hard part and thats telling someone. I understand its difficult to tell your mum but she will support you and she will love you more because you have done the right thing in going to the police! Im glad you have such a supportive friends group, thats what you need right now so try and spend as much time keeping busy with them. Obviously i think it will really help you move on if you do go see someone about this and get it off your chest. they will be able to help you move forward in life. Honestly i am really glad you told the police, too many young girls on here are so scared and it upsets me as i really feel for people in these situations. I hope people see that you have come forward and influences them! Stand tall and feel proud and relieved that this huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders! you are an inspiration to others so feel good about yourself
Im sure your mum will support you 100% with this so dont feel like she wont, she is your mum after all, she is there to protect you and guide you

x

[Gidig]

Thanks guys! Your help was amazing. =)

So it turned out, that the detective on my case stopped by my house to make sure I was alive after I didn't call them back... So my mom now knows. Which makes it seem so much more real, and while I wish she didn't know, it's nice not to worry about her finding out.

Now she's saying she's not sure if she should tell my dad or not. To me, he's not a father figure. And I don't think she understands that. But I can only talk to so many people about it... I can't handle talking to HIM about it.

But, I ended up making the call, yesterday I think. It was emotionally horrible and he clearly denied it, but the detective said it would be enough to get a search warrant which was what the whole case was resting on.

Anyway, yeah. Thats what happened. xD
Maria.

[JKmadu619]

Good for you. Get that freak behind bars. It's better your mother knows, she can help you through it, it's what moms were made for.

- Justin