Blacked Out?

[shadow_of_others]

I have a question: has anyone else ever blacked out or like passed out while they were being sexually abused?

I'm really torn with something. I'm a psychology student and I'm pretty far along with my training, which has largely been research oriented. Experimental research demonstrates that things like repressed memories aren't real. Rather, when we're experiencing something traumatic, the corticosteriods, etc. in our bodies imprint this experience on our mind so that it's emblazoned into our memory. I always thought there was such a thing as repressed memories, but now I'm not so sure.

My problem is this memory. I can't tell if it's real or a dream. Like, I knew it was real, but couldn't accept that it was, so I constantly told myself it was a horrible nightmare. That didn't make me feel much better because then I started questioning how it is that I could dream something so horrible as your own father climbing up on you, waking you up, and then feeling you up?

The thing is, I have a very distinct memory, but only up to a certain point. Then it just fades out to the point of when I woke up. I had no real sense of a passage of time, but it was cause it was nighttime when it happened, and daytime when I woke up. It's this huge jumbled up mess that's plaguing me something awful. I don't know what to do anymore.

I have these memories from when I was little. He hold me to him and wrap his legs around me and wouldn't let me go. I could feel him up against me. I didn't like it, but he wouldn't let me go. In the grand scheme of things, it's really nothing major. Just stuff like that always makes me question...

[Kiiaa_Samiii]

Heyy,

I am really sorry for what has happened to you
It is normal for you or anyone to not fully remember what happened to them when they were abused. Its how our mind copes. It switches off sometimes when things get too much, when individuals become too overwhelmed.
Even sometimes i still feel like what happened to me was a dream but i know 100% it wasn't.

So dont worry it is normal.

I hope you'll be okay

[sweet_angel1993]

I think its normal. The same thing happened to me. I was raped by my dad for 6 years starting when I was 3. After he left I kept having the same kind of dreams and didn't want to believe that it really happened. A few years ago I finally admitted it did happen and now I'm dealing with it instead of blocking it out.

[shadow_of_others]

The hard part for me accepting it is that while it was happening, I remember up to a certain part. Then I just faded out, and it was weird, cause then I just woke up, hours later, almost like waking up from a dream or something. But this was like 6 years ago. Would a dream really hang on that long, even a really horrible one?

When I woke up, I didn't want to believe it was real. I kept telling myself it was a nightmare... I did ok with this stuff for awhile, but it started haunting me again. Whatever, though.

[Kitty.]

Hey,

It's possible to black out from being sexually abused simply from the sheer trauma of it. Sexual abuse is very traumatic and difficult to go through. However, a dream could hang on a long time too. It is possible to remember a dream for a very very long time. The best thing to do would be to get into counseling and figure out whether or not that is a dream or reality.

Take care,
Kitty.

[rosaleah]

I had nightmares now for like a year about being raped by a teacher . But I personally don't think mine was real. But it definitely does scare me sometimes.

Go to a counselor, they will help you figure out if it was a dream or real. And if it was just a dream then they can help you figure out why you keep having this reoccurring nightmare..

It may have been a dream, but something probably triggered it. Something in your past that makes you feel scared and awful around your dad.

I hope that you get this all figured out