suicide I can't deal with another week of having sex with them?

[ihatemylife1]

I'm nearly 16. Well my daddy and I have had a sexual relationship for almost 15 years. He doesn't hurt me like my brother does. But many times I've resisted said no. He doesn't act like I even said anything. He just holds me down and forces me. Back in my tween years I liked it. I'd get dressed up like sleezily and in drag and fulfill his fantasy or w.e. I really just wanted to please wanted him to love me. Wanted to feel as though I wasn't being forced. He always said I was his dream girl. I am a guy but hea always treated me like a girl because I look a lot like my mother. I have everything like her curly hair large weird eyes to my full lips. I could actually pass as her younger version when I was younger. My mom left me with him when I was a baby. I wanted to feel I was beautiful but felt disgust. So I went back to resisting trying to make him stop. But he's too big. I can't fight him. I told my aunt she said I didn't mean to say that. When I did. My dad is a seemingly great single dad. He is successful amiable and doesn't fit the bill of someone who would sexually assault anyone. He uses a condom so it's not like I could call the police. They'd just side with him. Every night it seems someone is in my bed. My dad if not him then it's my brother. He usually is the one who is more physically painful. He says I'm nothing I'm his bitch and other horrible names that are degrading. He always tries to make sure ifeel the pain it seems. He also beats me up and burns. Some of the time I can fight him off some of the time I can't. He also has a better reputation than mine he goes to a good school top of his class. Has never been in trouble for anything. I on the other hand have the drug abuse problem getting into fights cutting getting with friends who have trouble with the law I feel no one would believe me. Also to add I have a very sexual active nature. My brother's "pious" in appearance. I feel like my only escape is school. There no one knows what I go through and would never guess this. But my friends are really supportive and they are the only ones I really love. But I feel as though I can't handle what I am doing I feel like running away just gets me back here cutting and drug use does help but not enough. I feel as though I had enough. They can't do this if I'm no longer here. I'm lost for any choices I guess. Any help advice??

[ihatemylife1]

I think this should've been in the suicide section oh well

[waiting.in.the.wings]

I'm so sorry.

I think that, since you're still techically a minor, you should go to the police and let them handle this. What your father and brother are doing to you is both illegally and morally wrong.
The police will understand what you're going through, even if you don't think they will believe you. Your father and brother's reputations will have little relevence to the case against them. Even if they used condoms.
Sweetie, someone is out there, willing to help...
You just need to give them that chance.

God bless <3

[blacklilac]

Hi, I think you should go to the police. The police can't and won't side with anyone just because they have a better record or something. That doesn't have any relevance to the case and won't affect a thing. What you are going through is just wrong, and the police will help you.

[Madeleine.Claire]

Please do go to the police.

They can help, no matter what the reputation of your father and brother is. Even if he does use a condom, there will be tearing and signs of sexual abuse I'm sure. And if you really don't feel safe, tell a friend or someone and see if you can stay at their house.

<3

[ihatemylife1]

I'm 15 there are guys my age who have sex especially with my reputation. Tearing and scars could be consentual or self inflicted. Plus daddy never scars me. Actually he's never raised a hand to hit me at all. It doesn't matter. I have a huge personal issue that's far more important.

[Rooni3]

Please don't kill yourself. The people who love you would be devistated to lose you.
If it's too much to handle try finding a local teen shelter that will keep you away from them and try documenting the abuse for the police. I'm sure medical examiners can tell if sexual abuse is taking place.

[bipolar]

i know it seems like the police won't believe you, but they HAVE to listen to you, and im pretty damn sure they have to investigate. you don't have to do this alone. im so sorry this happened to you. so so sorry. there are people who specialize in this. they look into things. they have a medical examiner determine if you are being abused. and you are, and there will be some kind of proof.

[Illuminate]

Honey, it's not right that they do this to you. Trust me on that.

You don't deserve to have to put up with that. You don't deserve to be used in the way you have been.

I understand it is scary to tell people about it. I understand that it's incredibly hard for you to imagine a life without it, but it's possible. It's just on the horizon, and you've already taken the first few steps.
You've already come to terms with the fact that it's not right. You know that this isn't normal.
You don't like it. You want things to change.
You stand up for yourself, this shows how strong you are
& you've reached out for help and advice.
All that's left to do it take the leap into the unknown. You have to approach the police.
You need to tell someone about what is happening at home.
You shouldn't feel trapped at all.
You can do this!
Stay safe and stay strong
- Charli <3

[xxxAJxxx]

to clarify, I'm pretty sure @Rooni3 meant to say "don't". And the police are the best place to go. Medically, they can tell if you are being abused. You don't have to suffer like this.

[ihatemylife1]

I'm good out of the situation.