Triggering (Abuse): I'm Daddy's dirty little slut!!!

[neverperfect]

Hi, I'm new and I hope I'm posting this in the right forum. I apologize if I'm not.

I'm a little confused right now. My father and mother are no longer together. Up until I was 14 I lived with my mom. My dad found out that I was being abused by my mother and her boyfriend and molested by her brother and had me come live with him and my step mom.

They've done so much for me these past 2 years and completely grateful but a few weeks ago my dad started coming in my room and touching me. I'm a gymnast and my father used to be an athletic trainer so I didn't think it was a big deal when he gave me a massage that night. It was the fact that he started kissing me and that he pulled down the cover and started touching me under my night gown that freaked me out. I tried to let it go but a few days later it was the same thing. Only he didn't stop this time until he noticed I was crying. He kept apologizing saying that he didn't want to hurt me. That he only wanted to show me that all guys aren't rough and forceful like my uncle.

Last week things got really bad. He came into my room again and things went much farther than I had thought they were going to go. I tried to tell him to stop but he kept apologizing and telling again and again how sorry he was but he had to know. I wanted to scream but my step mom was sleeping in the room down the hall and I didn't want her to find out about it that way so I kept quiet and gave him what he wanted.

It's been like this every night for the past 2 weeks and every day he has off. I've felt so guilty but I don't want to say anything because they both have been so good to me. I have everything I could possibly need and want. Yesterday my dad went out and bought me a new car.

I want him to stop but I feel guilty. He would do anything for me and all he wants in return is that. I know I shouldn't but I feel like I owe him.
I don't have any real friends to talk to about this just the ones that belive my life is so perfect and that my dad is so cool because he has the money to buy me anything. None of my brothers would understand or believe me and I can't do that to my step mom. I like my life the way it is now and I don't want to give it up it's that one little problem that seems to be taking control though.

My dad's right: I've had bad and I'm at better than good now so I shouldn't screw it up.
He's not as bad as my uncle but that doesn't stop me from wanting him to stop.

[Tynan]

To be honest to you here. Report your dad to the police or at least tell an adult you can trust. What he is doing to you is highly illegal and wrong. Sure he treats you great. But its still wrong to do and its illegal. If you don't want to turn him in I just suggest talk to him about it and tell him to stop. if he still does it go to someone you trust and tell them. If you don't think anyone will believe you and if you have a phone/camera that takes video. record it for proof.

Also if you haven't report your mom her boyfriend and your uncle because what they did was illegal.

[Revolution]

You need to get help.I know there is guilt, but you cannot continue living in a house where you are abused. I would recommend calling the police, calling the National Sexual Assault Helpline (1-800-656-HOPE , it is anonymous and you can be able to talk to a counselor), there is also an online hotline provided by RAINN (http://www.rainn.org/get-help/nation...online-hotline). You were moved from your mother's for similar reasons, you cannot continue living like this. You need to get help, and I would recommend you receive counseling.
PM me if you need any more help.

[Iris. ♥]

Even though things are better for you at your dad's house than they were with your mom, you need to report him. Any type of sexual abuse is illegal, no matter how "gentle" he makes it. You said you don't have any friends you can talk to about this. But is there an adult in your life, like a teacher or a school counselor that you can talk to? You don't deserve to be treated like this, no matter how many nice things he buys you to make up for it.

[Keysha]

You need to call the police sweetie what he is doing is bad. Its Not Right, Dont Feel bad for Saving yourself.

[dredear]

Hey, I know what your going through. And trust me just call the police, Its worth it.
Good Luck<3

[allisontedford]

You need to call the police, sorry :/. It might seem scary, but if you want this to stop... Its worth the risk.

- Allison

[neverperfect]

I don't want to call the police on my dad. I remember how it was when my uncle went to jail and I can't go through that again. I love my dad and I know he would never do anything to really hurt me. I tried to talk to him earlier when he got home from work but I kept getting interrupted. Not that it would matter anyway because I have no clue how to say it. I thought about telling our housekeeper amd asking for her help but I was too embarrassed. I have practice in an hour. I'll try to talk to him when he drops me off. I know he'll stop if I tell him. I just don't want to upset him or make him think that I hate him because I don't. I guess that sounds tupid but I do still love my dad after everything.

[chook14]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this I think you really need to tell someone who can get you the appropriate help. Although things might seem bareable now, situations like these tend to escalate. You're dads behaviour could get worse and worse if don't do anything about it. You said he seems apologetic about it now, but it doesn't sound like he's showing any signs of stopping. unfortnately just talking to him will probably not be enough to make him stop. I know he's your dad and you love him, but what he's doing to you is wrong. You deserve better. even if you are happier with your dad then you were in your mums care, it doesn't mean you have to put up with what he's doing. This kind of behaviour completley outweights anything nice he's done for you. He might feel that he's making up for it by buying you a car etc, but trust me, that kind of emotional pain can't just be bought away. Are your brothers older than you? If they are in their late teens/early twenties, it might be worth talking to them about it...I know you think they won't believe you, but it's definitely worth a try. When my parents were emotionally abusing me, I wanted to tell my older sister but was terrified she would think I was lying, or would side with my parents. She was so supportive though, and it helped me so much having a family member who believed me and could help me. You're their sister afterall, and they will most likely want to protect you. If you can't talk to your brothers, is there someone at your school who you trust, like a teacher or school councellor? Even if you don't want to go to the police, these people could give you advise on what to do, and could arrange a social worker to visit your house and with whom you could talk in private about what's happening. You mentioned that you're a gymnast...it might be a good idea to talk to your coach about it. Your coach would really care about your safety, and if it's someone you know and trust, it would be really good for you to have an adult you can talk to. I know it seems really daunting, but it's really important that you get yourself out of this environment. You could also call an abuse or depression hotline (if you google it, you should be able to find one for your area), for someone to talk to about what's happening. I really hope it all works out for you <3

[jaii]

i do not understand how in gods name you would beleeive you owe him, he buys you things, but he hurts you, hee violates you, and that is really wrong, you should report them, becuase you do not deserve that, its wrong and not right

[bipolar]

i know it might be hard, but you need to talk to someone. wether its police or a trusted adult, it needs to happen or he'll just keep doing it. he'll think he can always get away with this.

[dredear]

I agree with the others, You can't keep letting him do this to you. And it sounds like he's not going to stop anytime soon. <3

[JKmadu619]

I think the more you hear this the better...

Report him.

I stand behind you in this choice, everyone who posted here stands behind you in this choice. Every user here is here for you, and we are rooting for you all the way.

- Justin

[Lu82]

Im so so sorry this has happened to you. Im with everybody else report him what he's doing to you is bad.

[semiunbalanced]

I am so sorry and I hope you know that nobody deserves this, ever. You do not owe this to anybody ever. It is your choice and I think you should report him. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.

[harley]

even though he bought you a new car DOES NOT make up for anything he did please don't let this go to far you have to talk to somebody that can stop this as soon as possible before it gets to far out of hand
PM me if you want to talk
Harley

[Banono]

jesus, thats fucked up.. go to the police or tell your mom, let everyone know how it went if you do..

[AlaaAbuali]

Look I know where you're coming from when you say that after all he's done, you still do not want to report him or send him to jail, because I know alot of people who've been abused by their parents, physically and verbally and sexually,and yet there is always this thing inside of you which tells you that he's still your dad and him being your dad means something, and no matter what, you can't change that. But imagine, if someone knows that your dad is doing this to you and you are okay with it, because no one will understand when you tell them, that you let him do that, just because you don't want to report him, everyone is just going to think, that you like him doing this to you and you're okay with it, and I do believe you that ofcourse you don't want him to do this to you and you're not okay with it, but other people will not think that way and will not believe you. And imagine if people find that out, your whole life will be destroyed, you won't have friends, and no one will ever love you or marry you, and people will just avoid you or avoid being near you, how does that feel? It feels horrible. Don't do the mistake that millions did before you, don't keep this a secret, go and tell your siblings, or any family member even if distant, go tell the police, the neighbours, anyone on the street, and you will be surprised how people will react, people will react completely opposite to how you're reacting, they will take this seriously, and report it directly to the police, and put a restraining order on him for not coming near you anymore, and he will be sent to jail. And I know how you're thinking, you're thinking that he doesn't mean to do something like that, and that he'll just suffer in jail when he didn't mean it in the first place, but he won't change when he's in jail, he won't reconsider, and once he gets out, and has the chance again, he'll do this again to you and maybe even more, so you see, jail is only a way to keep him away from you, to keep him from doing this to you.
You can have a completely different life, away from all of this, away from all this abuse and mistreatment you are given.
And how can you say that your dad did so much for you? What did he do for you? He took you away from someone who used to molest you at your mother's, and then what? He molested you himself, he took you to himself. Is that the good thing he did for you?
And by keeping this to yourself from your step mom, you are not protecting her or caring for her feelings, on the contrary, you are destroying her life without her knowing, you are ruining her life, and wasting a part of her life that she could have spent with someone else who would love her and appreciate her and not lie to her and be unfaithful and molest her stepdaughter. What part of caring for her feelings are you doing when you allow him to molest you and you don't tell her? I know why you're thinking this way, because you're thinking that she'll get upset and turn it around on you and tell you, 'after all we did to you and then you ruin my life and send my husband to jail' but that reaction of hers will only be momentarily, and then if she's a good person as you say she is, she'll thankyou one day for what you did to her, for confessing, and coming clean, and helping her rid of a person like him, especially if she marries someone else one day, and finds that person who would truly love her and be faithful and a good person to her and to their daughter or stepdaughter.
Please reconsider what you are doing and how you are thinking, I know that the reason you refuse to take an action is that cause you are scared, scared of people's reactions and most importantly, you're afraid that people might not believe you, but you see, that's the mistake that all abused people do, they refuse to tell people because they think that no one will believe them, but why wouldn't they believe you. All those people who are abused, they could be saved, and their whole life could be turned around, if only they overcome their fear, and tell someone... trust me.
Please reply back if you feel you need to discuss this further, we are all here for you.

[Neverlosehope]

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I agree with the above post.

I didn't tell until 7 years later. In the meantime, my uncle molested child after child, even my own step brother when my mom moved both in with us. There is also an organization called RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) . Their number is 1800 656-HOPE. You can also talk to someone confidentially online at RAINN. This is too big a secret to keep inside. It will destroy you. I felt all the feelings you are feeling and more. 30 years later I remember it like it was yesterday. Don't let him do that to you. Please, please find the strength. We are all here for you, believe you and support you.

[missmolly]

You need to report him hun, I know its hard but what he is doing is utterly wrong! If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me. Xx Good luck

[Millie]

Tell someone hun! Its sick and you know it! Dont let him bribe you either, its not right and you shouldnt have to put up with it.
Do whats right and tell an adult/guardian or child line or something.
Believe me, you'll feel a whole lot better

[david2357]

You say, "I like my life the way it is now and I don't want to give it up it's that one little problem that seems to be taking control though."

Im sorry, but this is a LOT more than just a "little" problem. I really hope you tell the cops about this. This is absolutely horrible and disgusting. He is molesting his daughter. It is not your fault, so dont feel guilty. really, this is beyond sick, i dont care that he got you a new car; it is awful to do this to anyone, let alone a daughter. And you say he is nice to you? no way, he isnt nice to you at all! He is being nice to you so that you will feel guilty about telling him to stop or reporting him to the cops. He isnt truely nice; the fact that he does all these nice things for you shows the extent of the problem : he constantly thinks about doing stuff like buy you a car ,etc. just so he can molest you. Its like an obsession of his. He wants you to feel guilty, that is what sex predators like him do. That is the game they play. Its such a common thing among perverts that it actually has a name: its called the "grooming" process. You do NOT owe him this.

The only thing he is owed is a long prison sentence. hopefully life.I am so sorry that you had to put up with this from TWO men , and not just any men , but family members. Your dad isnt trying to show you that not all men are rough, he is simply using that as an excuse to BE how your uncle was. He is no different than your uncle, he is probably worse actually . I am assuming that when you said "but he had to know" , that he was raping you with the excuse of "I want to see if your uncle raped you or if you are still a virgin". Thats a fucking ridiculous excuse. He is raping you .

He pretends that the reason he is doing this to you is to help you get over what your uncle did to you. Thats BS. He is simply using the fact that you were a prior molestation victim against you, to rape you. A truely sick and twisted individual he is.

Come to think of it: I am guessing that your uncle got away with what he did. And your father probably sees that he got away with it , and so he thinks that if you didnt tell cops on your uncle , that you wont tell cops on him. I say you prove him wrong by reporting both of them to the police. ASAP!