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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Katie Lydia Offline
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she lies. - August 12th 2011, 03:32 PM

This is about a girl i met up at the stables i used to work at, she was incredibly overweight, shy and a little annoying because she had the puppy dog look on her face everywhere she went. She's now 18, when i met her she was 16.

I took her under my wing and tried to get her more confident because i was a little annoying when i first went up to the stables, i didn't know anyone and felt a little out of place but my friends took me under their wing so i'm doing the same for her. We invited her on days out, nights in, shows, parties etc. She even managed to grab some work experience up at the stabled because of me. We all liked her as she fit right in with us. (Lets call her Emma)

A few months went by when we noticed a few lies, i don't mean white lies, i mean bitchy lies. For eg, a friend (lets her call her Shannon) Shannon asked Emma if she wanted a lift home as Shannon was leaving at 3pm, Emma said no thanks and she'd get her dad to pick her up. The next day a good friend of ours said Emma phoned her and ranted about how Shannon ABANDONED her and didn't offer her a lift?! I was there, i seen it, i heard it, she did offer the lift. Then we found out she'd been bitching about all of us, i'm apparantly a lazy bitch how self harms for attention. My other friends are lazy and it's unfair because they can ride whenever they want. (They have their own horses, they're allowed to do that.)

Then the big whopper of a lie came when she realised we were being distant towards her because we couldn't trust her, don't get me wrong no one was being bullied or nasty towards her as i wouldn't let that happen due to the point that i was bullied so horribly. She started telling us her parents said they hated her, we felt sorry for her as this was maybe her way of getting her anxiety out. Then every day, every hour the lies would get worse, her mum (who has MS and is in a wheelchair) would pin her against the wall and beat her black & blue, her father has done the same and constantly screams at her, her sister wishes she was never born and her parents let the sister beat her. We were mortified, but sceptical but luckily we had a social worker at the farm as she had her own horse, we told her our worries that we think she might be lying but we'd never forgive ourselves if it was true. The social worker said to have a word with her and say that we're going to have to report it as it's a crime to let abuse go on when you knowingly know about it.

We spoke to Emma that we were going to have to report this and IMMEDIATLY she told us not to and that she would take care of it, she literally begged us. We said we'd give her 2 weeks and if it didn't stop we'd report it. Amazingly her parents loved her again. I know what your going to say, this could be abuse and she's petrified of anything knowing, we thought that too and still kept a close eye on her. A few months down the line (apologies for this being so long btw) my mum met an old friend of hers that worked in Emmas school, my mum told her all the things that had been happening and the woman, lets call her Elaine, said Emma told her all they things as well and because she's a teacher she HAD to report it and social services got involved and the case was 100% lies. Social services checked twice, Emma even admitted to Elaine she lied.

So we know Emmas lies but we STILL befriended her, we didn't trust her at all but we thought she was troubled and hopefully she'd grow out of it. She didn't. The next lie is that she a boyfriend, at first we were happy for her as we thought this would be good for her, within two days of them being together (Btw none of us had or to this day met this guy) he started beating her then raping her. I believed her 100% because who would lie about rape? Then everyday it would be about how she was raped repeatdly and beaten and passed around his friends, i started to get sceptical. She got the vibe that we didn't believe her because she kind of "Over sold" her story. So she showed me these texts from this boyfriend saying he'd rape her again tonight, she was damaged goods etc. I was mortified that i doubted her, so mortified that i fucking cut for being a bitch!

This continued through her being 17 and 18.

The next day i came into work and one of my friends (who is younger and a little immature) went through her phone and we realised the number that sent those horrible messages was Emmas old number. She was sending horrible messages to herself? No one has met this boyfriend, no one has seen a picture, he doesn't have a myspace, facebook, bebo, twitter, tumblr etc. All of the girls at the stables HATE her because she's been found out for the liar she is, (no one has confronted her as that would be too horrible) i feel betrayed, i took her in, i introduced her to all MY friends, i got her a fucking job! Yet she lies to us all? What do i do about her? Do i confront her do i find more evidence? Or am i just being a bitch? I'm at a crossroads here.


REALLY sorry for this being so long. Kudos to anyone that gets to the bottom, haha. x


Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
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Re: she lies. - August 12th 2011, 03:41 PM

Hey Katie, I read the whole thing. Kudos to me

But on a more serious note, what she did was wrong. She shouldn't have lied about all of that stuff. I honestly think she was looking for attention when she told you her life was traumatic because she wanted you to stick around and be there for her. (Even if there was nothing to be there for.)

If I were you, I'd just leave it alone. Just try to avoid all contact with her. If you confront her, I sense there'll be more drama and I doubt that's what you want! I know you feel betrayed but you're not a bitch for feeling the way that you do. It's normal to feel angry and fairly, I would too!

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Re: she lies. - August 12th 2011, 06:01 PM

Hey

I read the whole thing too Our situations are completly different but I can kind of relate. I lived with a girl when I was at uni who was a compulsive liar and I felt the same as you! We ended up comfronting her, but when we did, she lied whilst being confronted about lying! It's such a frustrating position to be in and you can feel like you're hitting a brick wall. It's horrible not to believe a word that's coming out of your friends mouth! Me and my other friends had to question everything she said to us, it was horrible.

What do your other friends think about this? How do they feel? Do they want to confront her? It's a difficult situation to be in because you have very few options. You can leave her to it and not know if she's ever telling you the truth, and you won't have a trusting friendship. You can confront her, this can either go two ways, she'll carry on or you can work out something between you to help her stop telling lies (that's what we tried to do, but it didn't work ), or you can just move on from being friends with her. It isn't fair on you or any of your other friends to be burdened with these things when they aren't true.

I can completely understand that it's a hard situation to approach, but you know your friends and I think together you should discuss how to deal with this and what you should do

I hope you can get this sorted, let us know what happens, take care
   
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Re: she lies. - August 13th 2011, 08:30 PM

Thank you to the both of you for replying. (Isn't it funny, the longer the paragraphs, the less replies)

Luckily i'm not at the stables anymore so i don't need to work with her but she's so clingy, she's currently attached herself to a couple at the stables that's going out because no one else likes her so she's not really bothering anyone but they two haha.

I just feel so betrayed, i want to have it out with her, like scream at her and call her all the names under the sun because i took her under my wing, i introduced her to everyone, i practically made her come out with us to get more confidence. The lies she's told! I was ready for hitting her when i found out that i'm "A lazy bitch who self harms for attention and sucks up everyones arse to get what i want." My friends, who are a year or two younger than me, they don't like her and don't trust her and yeah they were friendly to her but me & the manager were the ones that worked 6 days a week and put up with her and still kept giving her chance after chance!

She's incredibly too faced and just likes to bitch, i think she knows she's a compulsive liar but LIKES it. Ohhh how i want to hit her. (Don't worry, i wont....for now mwhahaha)


Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acid stains you
Drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live.


♥ Family ♥ Animals ♥ Cats
   
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.Jess. Offline
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Re: she lies. - August 13th 2011, 08:48 PM

Do you ever see her now? Do you think you'll ever have it out with her? From a selfish point of view I know you'd feel loads better if you had it out with her wouldn't you? If you think it'll achieve something or stop her from lying then maybe that's something to think about?

Lies are SO frustrating, no wonder you just want to scream at her, I can really sympathise, I've had massive lies told about me too! It's upsetting and so out of order because people start to think bad things about you when that's not what you deserve! I'm glad you're out of the stables now, and I feel bad for your friends having to put up with that

GRRRRRRRRR to liars
   
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Re: she lies. - August 14th 2011, 02:00 AM

Do you think it is possible that she could be a compulsive liar and not control it? Although confronting may not be the best for you, it may help her. Lying can be an addictive addicted behavior. BUT I think she would still be able to control it a little and by saying she was raped, was going WAY to far! If I were you I would ignore her, farther down the road, if you two end up being friends again, and you noticed she was lying then that's when I would confront her. Best of luck to you!
   
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