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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Raylolo Offline
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My GF was harrassed/assaulted. - March 18th 2009, 09:39 PM

I don't know what to do about it.
She doesn't want to tell many people, but she already has.
She went to dinner with the guy as friends...you know just to chill (she's not into guys so it doesn't bother me).
She says he kept on saying "your ganna kiss me no matter what tonight."
And that when she went home she was just ganna give him a hug and say goodbye, but he kept on pushing her. So he grabbed both of her arms and tried to kiss her; HE LEFT A BRUISE!
On top of that he told her "If you tell anyone about this, I'll beat the shit out of you."

I told her that she needs to get a restraining order or do something about it, because if she didn't someone would and it would be me. I told her that because I care about her.

She said she got a picture of her bruise and was ganna send it to me, but her cell phone is messed up. I'll probably have her get another one and keep it.

I'm playing detective and I will do whatever it takes to get this guy put behind bars or whatever the police/court decides to do with him. He needs to stay away from my girlfriend and I'm ganna make sure of it if she doesn't. Do you think it's right of me to wait and see if she does something or should I just do something about it right now?

=( I'm scared so much. I don't want this guy to hurt her. She can't even sleep at night, because of it. ='(


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Katieeee Offline
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Re: My GF was harrassed/assaulted. - March 18th 2009, 11:05 PM

If someone is threatening your girlfriend or forcing her to do actions that she doesn't want to comply with, they she needs to tell someone. If this guy is threatening her, it's all the more reason to do so. Personally, I think that you should try as hard as you can to convince her to see a school counselor or to tell her parents. That boy has no right to do that to her.


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Re: My GF was harrassed/assaulted. - March 18th 2009, 11:56 PM

Hey Rachael,

I'm going to move this to Rape & Abuse, as I think it fits better there than in Bullying. If anyone disagrees, feel free to move it back. [:

You're such an amazing friend for caring about her and yes, you do have every right to worry about her safety because if her friend is threatening her like this, you can't just let him get away with it. What if he actually does go through with the threat, what if she gets seriously hurt by him?

No matter how angry she might be with you for telling someone, for reporting him, don't you think it would be worth it in the long run? There could be any number of reasons she wants to keep quiet about it...she's afraid of how people will react, she's afraid he'll hurt her if he finds out she told someone, she thinks it won't do any good, she's scared to tell someone...whatever the reason may be, and no matter how angry she might be with you for telling someone and reporting this, don't you think it will be worth it in the long run? Someday she will thank you, for taking charge and stepping up and making sure she's ok and safe from him.

She might be afraid to report it alone, if that's the case, ask her if she'd like you to go with her when she makes the report. If not, I'd say to go ahead and make the report yourself once she's sent you a picture of the bruise. Tell the police everything she's told you. She might be able to get more than just a restraining order against him, depending on what she tells the police when they go to question her.

Don't wait, Rachael...get him away from her as soon as possible, it's important she's safe because you just never know what might happen, it's always better to be safe than sorry. Keep being there for her and being supportive, it sounds like what she really needs right now is a friend to look out for her and make sure she's ok and you're doing a great job of that already. Hang in there, both of you, I hope everything works out ok and let me know if you want to talk about anything. Take care of yourself.



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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My GF was harrassed/assaulted. - March 20th 2009, 02:59 AM

I think you should repot him . He'a already gotten violent with her && if he was just fine with that, he can && possibly will do more to harm her, && I can tell you really dnt want that . Even if she gets mad at you about it you should report him for her to help her out especially if she cant even sleep . Situations like this shouldn't be taken lightly because you never know what he can do .

Or you can just talk your girlfriend into telling the police herself, because you may not necessarily put her through the whole process that may follow if she's not ready .

But my personal opinion is to tell the police, he assaulted and threatned her he needs to be dealt with .
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