need more support

[actingpassion123]

So, this summer I started to remember things that I had completely blocked out from my childhood. It's really hard to talk about, but my therapist is helping me get through it. I've just never had to deal with something like this before. It's all really new to me. I've been friends with people who have PTSD, but I never truly understood how overwhelming it is.

I keep having nightmares. And I guess flashbacks...I feel paranoid and scared, and I feel like I'm 6 years old and helpless...I keep thinking he's around every corner.

My rational mind thinks this is so stupid, and I hate myself for not being able to control my emotions. But I can't help it, and the emotions are so overwhelming.

My therapist is the only person who knows about this. The only problem is, we only talk over the phone because I'm back at college (which is far away from my home). Recently I've just been wishing that I had more support here (really there are times when I just want a hug). But I have no idea how to ask for it. I'm so uncomfortable talking about it, and I'm not sure if I would want to share it. But I'm starting to realize that I really need more support. Do y'all have any ideas about how to ask for it / where I could look for it?

I have a really good friend that lives with me that could be an option. There's also another really good friend in my chorus, and I know she has PTSD, so maybe she could understand. I don't know.

What do y'all think?

[Dr.Bobby]

Hi Laura,

I think it takes time to develop a support network in anew place, like college/uni, but it's a lot easier and it goes a lot faster b/c everyone is new and looking to make connections. Just get out there and make friends, not so much for "Support", but really just for companionship and fun. That's worthwhile here too, the antidote to 'Yesterday" (Which is what PTSD is) is "Today".

What I'm also hearing is that Pandora is out of the box for you, and although it might seem more acute now (probably b/c of the vulnerability which accompanies something really new like college), what you also want and need is to continue the good work you started in therapy. You're right that phone sessions aren't the same, it might be time to transition to a therapist near you. Maybe the college has a counselling dept.? maybe you could find a therapist locally? In either situation, you'd begin slowly, and build a relationship over time with your new doc while you're transitioning from your current one, so you have a bridge and support.

[actingpassion123]

Thank you Dr.Bobby. This is actually my second year back at college, so I do have a couple groups of good friends. I'd never heard "The antidote to 'Yesterday' is 'Today'". I really like that quote. I'll try to reach out to them more for just social time (I've sort of been isolating). Is it weird that I feel the need for more connected support? I feel like I need someone who truly understands the whole situation, but at the same time I'm terrified to share anything. Oh my brain.

I would, but I'm very connected to my therapist from home. Also, the therapy program at my university isn't all that great. I tried it last year, and I really didn't like it. I could maybe search in the town, but at the same time I'm a little afraid to try someone new.