Is it even worth talking about?

[Agoraphobia♥]

Well I seem to have terrible judgment on like what situations are worth worrying about or not, or even worth talking about. Some people know that when I was 11 or 12 I was molested by my friend's brother but the thing is, I pushed it back and forced myself to forget, when the memory got brought back up, I knew what he did meaning that he touched me in a way I didn't approve of, but I didn't know that it was molestation, I had to ask people because I couldn't wrap my brain around that happening to me. So this brings us up to my new sort of issue that's bugging me, but I don't know if it is something or not to even be worth mentioning in this forum.

You see, when I was at homecoming earlier this year with my now ex-boyfriend, we were sitting on the stairs at the edge of the dance area (it's only like 3 steps that lead to a foot and a half lower area where the dancing was) and of course it was a dance so I was wearing a dress, and he started putting his hand under my dress and um... touching me inappropriately through my underwear, and the next day I found out he was trying to get under them but he was unsuccessful because my friends could tell I was uncomfortable but they didn't know why so they dragged me up to dance after about 3 minutes of him doing that.

Now my confusion is, is it anything? Like, I don't think it's molestation, it was over underwear even though his intention was to be fingering me. And let me say, no matter if it's something to even talk about or not, I won't press charges or anything like that. And it's also worth saying that he apologized the next day when I found out what he was trying to do. I mean I just don't know I'm so confused. I mean I know it wasn't right, but is it wrong? He apologized later and at the time I was uncomfortable but it was over some clothing even though not a lot. I'm just so confused. I don't really want to tell anyone I know, because I don't even know what to say happened if that makes sense.

Sorry it's so long and I feel so stupid not knowing like if it's anything big or if it's nothing worth even posting here, I'm just tired of only being an object to guys, that's all I've ever been to guys is something to be used for their fun then tossed out, and also, I didn't break up with him over this, we broke up because he kept trying to pressure me into sex and when I wouldn't put out he cheated on me. Again sorry for it being long and sorry for my ignorance.

[Le bonheur*]

I think that if he was touching you and you think it was inappropriate and you looked as uncomfortable as you're describing, then he definitely sexually assaulted you. I'm not sure if it was molestation, per say, but it was something. Now, he apologized, which is great but of course it doesn't take away the confusion. So I think if it's really bothering you, you should talk to someone. Counselor, teacher, friend. Anyone. It's worth talking about if it's bothering you, which from this post; I think it is.

[Agoraphobia♥]

Thanks for the post Brittany, and after like seriously looking into definitions and the like, I've come to the conclusion that it was sexual assault. Thank you for posting and yeah it really is bothering me. I might talk to someone, I don't know yet. I mean I haven't told anyone except this post on TH. No one besides him and me knew it happened before posting this and after, it's still only him, TH and me that know. I'm tired of being used, almost half my life I've been used and abused and I just wish it would change but this keeps happening and I feel like it won't get better anymore. Anyway thank you for posting