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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
rizz Offline
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Exclamation i cant believe this!!! - March 28th 2009, 11:43 AM

well my step brother sexually and physically abused me 4 4yrs anyway i went to the police and it took 3 yrs 4 them to finnaly do something but now they have decided 2 drop the charges because he claimed he was sexually abuse (which he was not and i know that for a fact, because he told me that if i ever told he would make fulse claims of abuse against my parents)...this is stupid and i dont get it...its like because he was so called "abused" it gives him the right to abuse others...its wrong, i feel like im not getting any justice at all, they said that it would be put on his record and that if he did it again that he would be charged for that crime but what about me...that person would get justice but i would not. i went to the police not only for justice but to stop him from hurting other girls (which he already has, i know some of them) but ive failed...ive failed to protect them and the police have failed me, they have failed the public.

i just cant believe this!!!
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 28th 2009, 04:38 PM

Hey Rhiannon,

I am so sorry to hear that the police are being so unjust. I am shocked and appalled. It doesn't eve matter wether your step brother was abused or not it does not give him the right to hurt anyone else. In fact, nothing gives anyone the right to sexually abuse someone else. You mentioned that he is hurting or has hurt other girls. Do you think you could talk to them about reporting their experiences to the police? If they don't agree I would still report it to the police yourself. Then they hopefully would investigate into it. Maybe now that they see the extent of his actions they will finally get you some justice. Are your parents aware of what went on? I couldn't imagine living in the same house as my abuser. I want to applaud your strength. It took a lot to be able to report it and I am truly sorry that the police were such pigs and didn't get you the justice you deserve. I can only hope that he will pay for what he did one day. Hang in there. If you ever need someone to talk to don't hesitate to PM me. I understand some of what you are going through and I am never to busy to listen. You are not alone. Take care.


Lots of love <3 Mimi



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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 28th 2009, 06:14 PM

Hey there Rhiannon,

I agree with Mimi as well. The police should have looked into your step brother a little more than they did. It isn't right for anyone to use a past abuse as an excuse for their current actions. The truth of the matter is, he was and still is in the wrong. If he was to have been abused, it would be his job to receive the help and treatment he needs.

I know this must be a very frustrating and hard time for you right now. Nothing in this sounds easy, I can't imagine what you must be feeling. However, you did the right thing by reporting him. You are in no way wrong. So, don't be mad at yourself, ok? He is the one who will be forced to live with his lies and actions in the future. Sometimes, when we know we've done something very wrong, our minds are clouded and we only think of one thing, self preservation. It's human instinct to try and dig yourself out before even contemplating the 'right' decision.

I know things seem hopeless right now. But, I assure you things are never hopeless. Someway, somehow, people get what they deserve most of the time. You're the one with a clean conscience, not him. You're going to be able to live with yourself, knowing you gave it your best shot. You say you've spoken with other people currently or previously abused by your step brother? Maybe you can talk with a few of them? Maybe if a few more people come forward to tell their stories, he will receive some sort of punishment.

What you did was very brave and you should be very proud of yourself. It takes a lot to come forward to talk about their past abuse. You went above and beyond talking about it, you even took the steps to talk to the police. This, unfortunately, is a shortage on their end, not yours. I really hope things work out for the best and I hope you can find some sort of closure in time. If you need anything at all, don't be shy to PM me, ok? Take care.

~Stay strong and have faith.


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 28th 2009, 10:41 PM

Hey Rhiannon.

First off, I am so sorry you have been put through this. What your step brothers done is wrong and there's no other way around it. He should have abused you and you didn't deserve it in any way.

It's good that you went to the police. That takes so much courage, I know. I also know what you are going through with the police. I was raped and they blew me off; I had to fight for them to even put anything on his record. The justice system is anything but just. Really, it shouldn't matter at all if he was abuse. You're right, even if he was abused, that doesn't give him any right to abuse someone else. I don't think you should drop this. It isn't right and it isn't fair to you or the other girls he has hurt. Keep fighting. Try going back to the police, don't let them brush you aside. Could you possible get those he's abused, following your report, to tell the police? Whether you can or cannot, you haven't failed anyone. You have done something that so many don't have the strength to do. You should be proud of yourself, the police are the ones who have failed. You may have not immediatly stopped your step brothers actions, but once someone else has the courage to report him he will finally pay. He will pay for everyone he's hurt, including you. Maybe not directly, but you had this put on his record and it will be because of you that he is punished.

If you even want to talk to anyone, don't hesitate to PM me. I'll be here any time you want to talk.

Hang in there. you've come this far, don't give up yet.


Originally joined: June 2008


" He has no remorse for his actions,
And feels nothing but pleasure.
To see her suffer is his joy-
And her innocence is his treasure. "

is this what you really want from me..?
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 29th 2009, 01:29 AM

Hi Rhiannon, You are a very brave girl for going to the police & reporting him. I can't believe that the cops didn't arrest him--abuse or not!! Thats such BS that b/c he was so called "abused", so they don't arrest him. Well, he's still a danger to you & you can do something to get him out of that house. Get ahold of social services & tell them a/b this scenario. B/c he has harmed you & sexually abused you, he a threat to your safety & they should remove him from the house for your safety sake. I hope you pursue this avenue Rhiannon. I want to see him gone & in jail so you can start on your healing journey. You only had a setback & you will succeed in putting him in jail where he belongs. Good Luck & you are loved, ok?


To ease anothers heartache is to forget one's own
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 29th 2009, 01:54 AM

well thanks guyz.

ive tried getting the other girls to come forwards (there is 49 others) but none will come forwards b/c they are afraid of him and all his mates, they see whats goin on with me (death threats, assults ect...). ive also got a meeting with the police, some of the police were appoled with what has happened and have demanded that they tell me face to face the reasons the charges were dropped even though i was told over the phone...im goin to give them a piece of my mind!!!

i rang lifeline the other night to talk to someone about it but i ended up hanging up coz the councellor called me "damaged"...he said i was now "like a broken calculater that when you type in 2 plus 2 you get 5"...it was outrages.

it just now feels like nobody cares, that maybe im just meant to be used, abused and thrown away. this isnt the 1st time the police have thrown out a case involveing me (all sexual ones), there have been 2 others. maybe im nothing but a piece of flesh 4 men. i have been raped so many times by diff men that ive lost count but this one is worst b/c of who he was, how long it went on 4 and b/c of the polices excuse.
   
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 29th 2009, 02:14 AM

I care about you! I am so sorry about all of your awful experiences. No one is ever to 'damaged' for help. I am sorry the person at lifeline was so rude. I have had bad experiences myself and you have to realize that many of the people who work for the lifeline are just volunteers training to become psychologists and counselors. Not everyone is good at their job and that person certainly wasn't. Next time you are going through a hard time if you don't want to call lifeline (which I can completely understand) you can always use the live help feature of the site. I personally promise you that no one you talk to will be that rude. I strongly suggest you make a list of all the girls your step brother has assaulted and submit it to the police. You can even to it anonymously if you choose. It is their job to investigate into it. This horrible injustice has me completely baffled. Have you ever though of contacting an organization and telling them about your situation? I am sure you could get a lot of support and people would really stand behind you and push for justice to be served. Do you still live with your step brother? If so is there any other place you could stay? I can't imagine the trauma of living with someone who assaulted you. I am truly sorry for everything that has happened to you. I want to remind you that there are people who care about you and I am one of those people. As I mentioned before you can come to me anytime with anything. I promise to listen and do my best to help you out. I hope things get easier for you soon. Until then take care and stay strong. You really are such a strong girl. I hope you never have to go through anything like that again.


Lots of love <3



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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 29th 2009, 02:36 AM

Oh my god, 49??? And nothing has been done? This is absolutely outragous. I am appalled at the lack of effort that is being put in by the police. I agree with David, try and make a list of as many of the people he has hurt as you can and give a copy to the police. If they girls are approached and the police give them reassurance some of them will give in and tell. You have every right to give the police a piece of your mind; they aren't doing their job and you don't deserve the shit there pulling on you.

I'm sorry for what the man on the lifeline said to you. He obviously didn't know what he was doing. You aren't damaged, you have been through a traumatic incident and you're in a very difficult situation, but that doesn't make you damaged. Don't take what he said to heart, a lot of people don't think about what they are saying before they speak.

People do care Rhiannon. I care. No one is meant to be used and you aren't an object. You are a person and you deserve to be treated like one. You are in no way just a toy for men hunn, don't think like that. You have a voice, it may be being quieted by the police right now but there are other people to whom you can speak to about this. Don't let those assholes that call themselves policemen keep you from getting the justice you, and, every other girl who he was hurt deserve. You may feel alone now, but when other girls see that you are fighting hopefully they will back you up. It will only take one more testimony and you will have a case. The police can't just brush that off.


Originally joined: June 2008


" He has no remorse for his actions,
And feels nothing but pleasure.
To see her suffer is his joy-
And her innocence is his treasure. "

is this what you really want from me..?
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 29th 2009, 02:48 AM

i have already told the police about the other girls and gave them as many names as i could as well as the places where he worked and went to school b/c i know that there are girls there his abused but they dont care.

no i dont live with him anymore...i live on my own now.

there is an organiseation whom im thinking of contacting...its called bravehearts and they handle situations like this (well not exaclly the same but simalure
) and maybe they might be able to help me out too
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 29th 2009, 02:52 PM

I think contacting the organisation is a great idea. You are strong, you are the one who is pushing forward with this situation. Even if the other girls won't talk, you are making a difference. I can imagine how hard this is for you and your doing a very good thing. You are the voice for those who can't find their own and you should be very proud of yourself. The police are being ridiculous. I can't even begin to understand what the hell they are thinking because it's way beyond wrong. Stay strong, you've come so far.


Originally joined: June 2008


" He has no remorse for his actions,
And feels nothing but pleasure.
To see her suffer is his joy-
And her innocence is his treasure. "

is this what you really want from me..?
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 29th 2009, 04:08 PM

Hey Rhiannon. :]

I just wanted to tell you that you are an extremely brave person for reporting this. That took a lot of guts. You're such a strong person.

If you think that organization could help, then go for it! I really hope it all works out for the best. Really.

Good luck, stay strong, and PM me anytime you need to talk. <3
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
rizz Offline
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 29th 2009, 09:46 PM

well ive emailed the organiseation but ive also gone 1 step further...ive emailed a stack of other sexual abuse organisations aswell.

here is what i emailed them:
hi,
my name is Rhiannon Cole and im from victoria

i was abused by my step brother 4 4 yrs and i told the police (it took them 3 yrs to do something) and he was charged with sexual abuse but now they have decided to drop the charges because he claimed he was sexually abused...its wrong, he should not be able to get away with this but he is.

my step brother is still abuseing other girls...ranging from 12-45 but non of them is willing to come forwards because they are too afraid of him...he is viloant...very viloant and i know because he has beaten me up alot in the past and still to this day i recive death threats from him, he has broken the intervention order 2ce (i had to fight to get one put on because the police didnt put 1 on him...they didnt even put any bail conditions on when he was bailed.) and i have already told the police about the other girls and they just dont care.

i am scared now, not only for me but for the other girls he is abuseing but now i am also worried that the police have given other rapests and pedophiles an exuse to get away with their outrages crimes.

plz i dont know what to do...neither do any of my councellors...we are all at a lost.

if you have any idea on what i might be able to do so he doesnt get away with this plz help me...plz let me know...PLZ
and if you know any1 who might be able to help me then can you plz forward this email
im sorry if this email has annoyed any1

thank you,
Rhiannon C


what do u guys think. im hoping someone will email me back and help me fight this.

well the charges where legally dropped today at court...his gotten off scott free...his won

Last edited by rizz; March 30th 2009 at 09:21 AM. Reason: update
   
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Re: i cant believe this!!! - March 30th 2009, 10:31 AM

I'm really glad you emailed the organizations and I hope they reply back too. You said what you should have said and someone will see your pain.

As for your step brother, he hasn't won. It may feel like that now but it's not over. You still have a chance, it may be hard to see that but it's there. And everyday you fight you are making that chance reality. I know the feeling all to well to have all the charges dropped, but as hard as it may be, you have to put that aside for now. Keep looking into these organizations. Keep using your voice.


Originally joined: June 2008


" He has no remorse for his actions,
And feels nothing but pleasure.
To see her suffer is his joy-
And her innocence is his treasure. "

is this what you really want from me..?
   
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