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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Stuckinhell Offline
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Last night- scared and confused - February 19th 2012, 04:18 PM

About a year ago, i went to an older guys home- a friend of a friend, said film and dinner. When i was there, he became very forceful and threatening, tied me up, hit/bit me and forced me. But when he let me go i didn't leave. I tried to pretend nothing happened so he brought me a cuppa and i sat and had it, and jst never mentioned anything.

He's messaged me a few times since. He knows that i do have a fantasy of force. But he also knows I have a boyfriend and have no interest in anything.

So last night, he came to my house, said he was upset and needed a cuppa and chat. I naively let him in. Wen't into the kitchen, he grabbed a Knife and took me upstairs, he forced me again then left. I was crying, telling him to stop, calling for help but he carried on.

But he seemed to think i wanted it. But i didn't, and i never told him i did. Just because it is a fantasy doesnt mean i ever wanted it to come true. But i'm just confused.

My housemate called the police against my will. So i lied to them, told them it was just a bit of rough sex all consensual etc. They didn't believe me, but had to let it go.

I feel dirty, sick to the stomache. Keep getting images of him, of his fingers around my throat, the knife on my neck.

Just so confused as to what happened. Was he forcing me? Or because i never complained the 1st time did he think i wanted it, and was just playing around?

Heads just spinning lke crazy, dnt know what to think.


   
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Re: Last night- scared and confused - February 19th 2012, 06:59 PM

If you were shouting and screaming for help like you said you did, then you made it clear that it was something you didn't want. If I were in your position I think I'd report it to the police properly. If he did it to you, he could just as easily do it to someone else.


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Re: Last night- scared and confused - February 19th 2012, 07:57 PM

Tell the police. Stop means stop as no means no, which you told him that he clearly needed to stop. And what if he's not just doing it for your "fantasy"? What if it's for his own sick pleasure of being a sadistic forceful bastard? If he was doing it to seem like a role play of your fantasy, he would have stopped when you really got scared and told him that he needed to stop.

You need to be careful with that stuff. What if he actually hurts you or kills you one day? That isn't anything to play around with. Not only that, but what if he's doing it to other girls?

Does your boyfriend know about this? If he doesn't, tell him what happened and he should kick his nasty sick ass. Also, like I mentioned before, tell the police and what happened. Abuse is not right!!


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
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Re: Last night- scared and confused - February 19th 2012, 08:22 PM

Asking him to stop is just like saying No. He shouldn't have forced himself on you, what he did was wrong and is considered to be rape. I think you should tell someone you trust about what happened and contact the police. Like it was said, if he did this to you he could do it to someone else. Stay safe and take care!



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Re: Last night- scared and confused - February 20th 2012, 02:11 AM

Hey there,

Although it was a fantasy off yours, it did NOT give him the right to attack you in that way. You asked him to stop and you attempted to fight back. Thats the important part here.. And it also determines that its rape, or at least sexual assault. I highly suggest you call the police back up and tell them the truth. This man won't be able to hurt you when he's in jail. I know its incredibly hard to report or even talk about something like this but honestly, it'll help you in the long run. Also, if you are finding it hard to cope, I suggest you speak to a doctor, or other professional such as a therapist or psychiatrist. They can give you techniques to help you with memories or fears. What I found helpful in my own recovery process is talking about it and reminding myself that its not my fault. I also found that writing down memories and burning them with a small flame helps a lot. . For me, it signifies letting go. Perhaps that would help you further along in the process. I'm so sorry that this guy took it much further than he should've. He needs to be punished for this crime and I really hope you change your mind about talking to the police and I do hope you recover properly. It'll get better.

I'm always around if you need a chat.

Take care,
Brittany
   
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Re: Last night- scared and confused - February 20th 2012, 02:36 AM

Also, the sooner you tell the police the better. The longer you let it sit the harder it'll be to prove he did such a thing.


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
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