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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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FuturesEnd45 Offline
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Unhappy My friend was sexually abused and people make fun of her to my face. - March 30th 2012, 10:38 AM

A few years ago my best friend was ( im not sure if its rape or molestation so ill say-) sexually abused by a boy. He trapped her in a classroom during a school play and forced her to preform oral sex. It was a horrible thing for her, her family and her friends and i to go trough, and sometimes she still has to see him on public transit. Shes ok as she can be now-
But sometimes people tell me shes a slut and that she had a choice to preform oral. My bf tells me she probably wanted too and it was her choice, some friends say well you know lea its not like HE did it to her she did it in the end orals not as hard as sex so she coulda ran!
And it upsets me so badly. She was so scared! She was afraid he hurt her if she didnt she was locked inside a room for crying out loud!
I dont want to be mean at the people who tell me its her fault but none of them saw her crying in my bedroom or were there during recovery. How do i tell them they are wrong and shes not a slut? What should i do when people say this about my best friend?!
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Cassie999 Offline
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Re: My friend was sexually abused and people make fun of her to my face. - March 30th 2012, 08:44 PM

Your friend needs to tell a teacher and her parents need to do something. Teachers wont allow students to do sexual abuse to another student. She doesn't tell a teacher about this to get the boy in big trouble then it's just going to get worse and worse if she just left it and have people judging her. Be there for your friend . This can't go on. That boy needs to be reported by the police.

Last edited by Cassie999; March 30th 2012 at 08:53 PM.
   
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Re: My friend was sexually abused and people make fun of her to my face. - March 30th 2012, 09:02 PM

I agree with the above..
If these people say anything to you then you say, you didnt see her getting over it, you didnt she how she upset she was after it. If your boyfriend doesnt understand talk to him about it too make him understand..


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Re: My friend was sexually abused and people make fun of her to my face. - March 30th 2012, 11:42 PM

This is definitely sexual abuse and you or her need to tell her parents, your parents, teachers, and/or the police. If he did it to her, he could just as easily do it to someone else. As for those who make fun of her, you need to stand up for her. When your boyfriend or friends bring it up, you need to mention that she was LOCKED and being forced to. If fear for herself and her life was on the line, then it wasn't her fault. Running away wasn't an option if she was locked inside and being forced, especially if nobody was around to help her and she was in fear that he would hurt her.

The police do need to know about this so this boy can get what he deserves. She does not only have to cope with the past of sexual abuse, but also mental abuse and harassment of those around her who make fun of her. If she needs help coping (she might, because events such as those can cause her to cope wrongly, even if she may be good at hiding it) be there for her and let her rant out to you, or suggest her to a counselor. The best thing for her right now is support.


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Re: My friend was sexually abused and people make fun of her to my face. - March 31st 2012, 12:46 AM

Thanks guys. And she told the police and school but her school is very liberal so they didnt do anything ( i know agrivating ) but he got in trouble by the cops
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Re: My friend was sexually abused and people make fun of her to my face. - March 31st 2012, 07:17 PM

Just continue to stick up for your friend. She needs support more than ever right now. Let her rant when she needs to rant. Let her cry when she needs to cry. Tell the people who are harassing her to back off because they don't know what she went through. Seeing that there is someone who still supports her and loves her will do wonders for her. You might also want to suggest that she sees a counselor, so she can get professional help in coping with the trauma of being sexually abused.


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Re: My friend was sexually abused and people make fun of her to my face. - April 1st 2012, 01:20 PM

I agree with the person above, just support your friend and when you can stick up for her. She needs someone to understand right now and you can be that person. You could suggest she goes and see a therapist or counsellor of some kind as they could probably help her more. Just show her that you are there for her, you always will be, let her confide in you, its a miracle what a heart to heart talk with a friend can do to ease emotional distress. Just always be there for her and that itself will help her get through this.

Hope I helped.

Becky
   
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Re: My friend was sexually abused and people make fun of her to my face. - April 2nd 2012, 07:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariokage View Post
Thanks guys. And she told the police and school but her school is very liberal so they didnt do anything ( i know agrivating ) but he got in trouble by the cops
Im glad to hear the cops did something. but if the school didn't do anything, I'd go over there head. tell the superintendent of the schools in your area. and keep going up if they dont do anything. idk about anywhere else but from what I know most schools have the zero tolerance thing. So if you feel like getting to school to do something about it aswell id try what i suggested. And like everyone else said be there for her as much as you can. and hope it all gets better.
   
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