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My stepdad tells me the most unimaginable hurtful things and I dint know how to deal with them he calls me a fat whore pig a horrible human being he tells me why do u even bother to live and I might mention I've tried kllng myself before I need help now
I'm so sorry to hear that your step-dad treats you so horribly. Experience has shown me that verbal abuse is one of the hardest things to endure. The fact that you've made it so far shows me that you have incredible strength.
I know it's difficult, but you need to remind yourself that these things are not true. After a while, it gets easy to believe the lies that other people tell us about ourselves. But, they are not true. That's something that you need to think about every day. One thing that you might want to try is writing down all the amazing qualities that you have. I'm sure there are a lot of them. Make a list and post it somewhere that you will see it often, like your bathroom mirror. Look at that list as much as you can (when you get ready, when you wash your hands, before you go to bed, etc.). Every morning, pick one thing from the list and commit it to memory. Anytime you start to feel down, or when your step-dad starts making rude comments, remind yourself of the quality on the list. Repeat it to yourself like a mantra. If you need to, head back to your bathroom and read the list over again, just to remind yourself of how amazing you are.
I'd also really like to encourage you to talk to somebody about this. Verbal abuse is such a difficult thing to deal with and it's not something you deserve to go through on your own. The person you choose could be a friend, a trusted family member, a counselor at your school, or even someone on TH. It doesn't really matter what source the support comes from. What does matter is that you find someone to lean on through the hard times that will be there to love and support you.
If you ever need to talk about anything, feel free to PM me. I'd be happy to talk to you about what you're going through and my own experiences with the situation. Remember, you are not alone.