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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Michy_Blackrose Offline
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Talking EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 03:45 PM

WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

I'm trying to stay as collected and focused as possible to type this, just been to see my psych and he's happy with my current combo of Citalopram, Olanzapine and Clonazepam, suggested Quetiapine or Sodium Valproate as an alternative because of the weight gain associated with Olanzapine, but very soon after I left his office, i felt the 'upswing' start again! I am !!! I have unbounding amounts of energy, I can't focus on any one thing very well, I am super quick, lightning fast, up and up and UP UP UP WHEEE! My whole BODY wants to jump out of itself, I am grinning, LAUGHING, at everything! This is wonderful, SO wonderful! So much of muchness! I could crunch the world between my teeth and squeeze the earth into a pulp!

I AM POWER! I AM ENERGY! I AM WHEOW! RARRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe he should up my dose of Olanzapine/change it/change my SSRI, or something... I don't know! YES YES YES! EVERYTHING IS YES!!! ENERGY! LIGHT! BOUNCE! FLY! GRRRRR!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA!!!

THIS TIRES ME EVENTUALLY, I HATE THE BUMP, THE SLIGHT CRASH, THE... Oh I don't want to speak about that now!!! WHEW, WHEW, WHEW!!!! I LOVE THIS ALL, EVERYTHING!!!!

WOW! YES! YES! CRUNCH, SQUEEZE, GRITTED TEETH AND ADEPT FINGERS, JOKER SMILES AND UNABOUNDING LAUGHS, BECAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING IS GRASPED BETWEEN MY PALMS!


And I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became.


<3
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 04:02 PM

I'm glad you're feeling so great right now And this is because of the meds?
   
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Talking Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 04:16 PM

No, my meds are partly to treat this. It's an upswing, I have BPD (and Depression comorbid). This is the EUPHORIC upswing due to my BPD!!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Silvia View Post
I'm glad you're feeling so great right now And this is because of the meds?


And I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became.


<3
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 04:28 PM

WHEW! WHEW! WHEW! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I REALLY NEED TO COME DOWN BEFORE I GO OUT TONIGHT, I HAVE PLANS, SO I'M DRINKING A BIT TO HELP LOWER THIS RUSH, THIS HIGH, THIS GRITTED TEETH, FIST CLENCHING, WORLD CRUSHING EUPHORIA! QUICK QUICK QUICK EVERYTHING MUST BE QUICK!!!!! SHOOT LIKE LIGHTNING!
WHEW!! WHEW!! WHEW!!!


And I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became.


<3
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 04:33 PM

Its great that you're feeling so good but you gotta make sure you don't hurt yourself even when you are in a upswing. I think it would be good if you kept listening to Emily Autume and know that your mood will even out in time. And I really think that in time the mood shifts won't be as drastic than before. Like you said, the upswings started to really come up in the foreground these past couple of weeks. Keep on seeing your counselor, and keep getting some of that energy out through TH or whatever means to voice how you feel and it will even out.

We can't control how we feel but we can control in how we cope with it. So just remember that you're alright and even though it is tiring when you are in these upswings that they won't last forever. And you will start feeling level soon.

Also, I think that if you are in these up moods or even down moods to continue your writing and just get it out, you know?

What ever means you choice, just know that you are safe and it will be okay in time. Just keep reaching out *hugs*


---------------

"You never give into the pain, you just adjust to it!"--unknown
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 04:38 PM

Yay, you're online! Yes, as much as I love the upswings initially, i literally CANNOT control them, they can come at the most inconvenient times like when I need to go out, and I WANT TO COME DOWN. Just took a Clonazepam to help relax me more, and hopefully all this energy and ARGH! MUCHNESS! CLENCH! will even out before tonight. Need to do things but can't focus on much at the moment, my body feels like it's screaming out of itself manically energetically!

I WANT TO COME DOWN NOW! ARGHHH! *GRITS TEETH* HATE THIS!

*help* Need a hug!
:/


And I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became.


<3
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 04:38 PM

I HATE THIS MANIC EUPHORIA!


And I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became.


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Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 04:43 PM

*hugs* thankfully energy has a way of going down quicker and going away than any other emotion. I really think drinking is not the best way to go about it because then you're getting bad habits. This will go away soon enough and I'd be more worried about crashing and feeling really tired during your night out than anything else. But like those lows you were feeling a while back these will go too and won't be as frequent. *hugs* you gotta stop fighting it though because it will feel that much worse and know that this will die down pretty quick *hugs*


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"You never give into the pain, you just adjust to it!"--unknown
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 05:08 PM

Thanks, Chris. A bit calmer now due to Clonazepam helping, I think. Need to start getting ready soon... :/


And I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became.


<3
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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 05:12 PM

I replied to you about this in a PM, so just letting you know here (in case you don't get the PM for some reason).


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation



   
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Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 05:21 PM

Just try to enjoy your night out and I also think being around all of those people will help rid the excess energy you're feeling don't worry about that. And I'm sure your high (I hate saying manic) feels will even out soon, but you need to keep reaching out to the rest of us because we do love you, Michelle *hugs*


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"You never give into the pain, you just adjust to it!"--unknown
   
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Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 05:23 PM

I would talk to your doctor, because this may feel good in the moment but it'll hurt later.

I'm also a little concerned that you are drinking to "calm down", doesnt that just make you "higher" in a sense?
I'm not exactly sure, but I hope that you are able to calm down and not have too much of a crash.

Again, I hope you are talking to your therapist about how big these mood swings are.
Do they know?

Good luck!
Shelby


   
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Re: EUPHORIC UPSWING! - May 3rd 2012, 05:28 PM

Thanks for you input, everyone. I appreciate that people on here recognise that 'highs' when it comes to mood swings can be just as debilitating as the more common 'lows'.

I phoned my psych when I got back home after seeing him today, and he mentioned the euphoric upswings were because of the mood swings associated with BPD, but perhaps a meds change would help. His secretary said he'll ring me back tomorrow when he's working. :/ A bit calmer now.

Well, i've had a big alcohol problem for years, and i use less now, though it's become more of an issue recently, and i know others who use alcohol to try and 'bring down' or reduce their 'high'. It's a completely different 'high' to the one from alcohol, it's very much mentally driven, as well as emotionally, although the ones i've experienced sporadically throughout the years have not always been 'affective', and recently more 'non-affective'.

I'll speak with him tomorrow, anyway. Thanks for the advice and concern. x


And I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became.


<3
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