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Unhappy I feel terrible about what I said to my counselor. - June 13th 2012, 12:43 AM

Things have been going down hill for a while it seems, I have been seeing the same girl for 9 months and she is leaving at the end of July. I really don't feel like I have made any progress in all that time, so I told her that today, and she kind of confirmed that she thought the same thing.

But she has been really making me mad recently saying things like "I don't trust her to know whats best." Which is not true and I never told her that. I just think that one way doesn't work for everyone, we are all different.

I am frustrated by the amount of time I have spent with her to have mad no progress and she says its because I only participate on occasion. This I also don't understand, these are hard things to talk about and I still don't feel totally comfortable with her, is this uncommon? Like do all her other clients walk in there and spill everything? I'm just not that kind of person...

And I tried to express these issues to her today and she seemed to be getting angry with me? I thought I was going to miss her but now I can't wait for her to be gone... I also don't know anymore if I want to continue with counseling, if it is going to turn out like this...?

I am feeling bad about the way I said these things to her so bluntly, but I am also mad at her for the way she reacted.
   
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Re: I feel terrible about what I said to my counselor. - June 13th 2012, 12:51 AM

Counseling isn't easy progress is based on what you are able to do and talk about, but a lot of that has to do with how comfortable you feel. Sometimes it takes awhile to find someone you can "mesh" with and open up to. Not all experiences will be bad ones. It's always good to talk these things out with professionals, it's part of the reason they're there and that could be considered progress in and of itself.

As far as not trusting her or not participating, she bases that on what she perceives. If, for example, she suggests you try something and you don't that could be perceived as you not trusting her. That's different than if you try a suggestion and it doesn't work. If she asks you questions and you just refuse to answer that could be seen as not participating, just letting her know that answering is difficult could change how she views that.


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Re: I feel terrible about what I said to my counselor. - June 13th 2012, 04:19 AM

If you have seen her for 9 months you should be talking to her more about whats going on you have had plenty of time to get used to her. Theres no reason not to have open uped to her at least on some things.
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Re: I feel terrible about what I said to my counselor. - June 13th 2012, 03:02 PM

I agree with Kate it is a hard process. I know for me it took awhile to get started because I am a stubborn person and I had to look for people who can fit with my personality of always challenging me. I had one who did nothing but listen and take notes and another who always gave me stuff to do and then I found one who I really really connected to.

The not participating is like Kate said she bases that off what you do and how you react to her assignments or questions.

I know from my experience just coming in and spilling everything would never happen. If I had something bothering me or something hard to talk about I would just not talk till after ten minutes of silence she would say something like I hate it when you don't let me help you. I have to be asked or in a mood to just talk. The trust came after a month with one another took a bit longer.

Sorry if this wasn't very helpful. I hope things work out and you progress with her in your last few sessions or you find someone who you just mesh well with.


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