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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Is my therapist working? - June 24th 2012, 04:05 PM

Mine's not helpful. To be honest she's quite useless. I find her patronising and annoying. I dread seeing her, that can't be healthy :/ I don't dislike her as a person but I don't find her helpful. I hate people who patronise me >____< I may not be the most capable person in the world but I'm not an idiot, don't talk to me like one. She praises me for doing the most simple of things (like singing on at the job centre don't praise me for something I'm meant to do) I'm depressed and have low self-esteem, I'm not stupid.

In her defence her being patronising may be part of her "work persona" maybe it works with some people :/

I also know what she's going to say before she says it. I'm genuinely interested in psychology and I know enough about cognitive behavioural therapy to find it unhelpful.

I actually find self-help techniques more helpful :|

I've been seeing her for over a year so it's not like I've been seeing her for a few weeks.

I don't know what to do. Should I tell her I don't need her?


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Last edited by Make Believe; June 24th 2012 at 04:11 PM.
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Re: Is my therapist working? - June 24th 2012, 05:09 PM

You should explain to her you feel uncomfortable with her way of helping you. If that doesn't work you should start looking for another therapist. Another thing is she is a female; Females tend to listen more and sympathize, while males tend to get right to the source of the problem. Hope this helps.


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Re: Is my therapist working? - June 24th 2012, 08:18 PM

Every therapist has a different personality and style, just as every client has a different personality and style. Perhaps this therapist IS a bit patronizing, but perhaps the majority of her clients benefit from some "tough love." Like the previous poster said, I see two possible outcomes.

The first is that you tell her how you feel. Give her some examples, tell her it's not helping, and tell her what WOULD help. A good therapist can adapt to the client's needs, so long as adapting benefits the client's progress.

The second is that you ask for a referral, or look for another therapist with a different approach. It may be a good idea to discuss your concerns with the therapist before you actually begin therapy. That way, the therapist can tell you right away if they can meet your needs, or if they are probably going to come across as patronizing as well.





   
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Re: Is my therapist working? - June 25th 2012, 12:14 PM

I'd feel a bit rude if I told her that. I mean, she obviously has a degree or whatever so she knows what she's doing :/

I'd prefer to have a male therapist, I feel more comfortable with men.


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Re: Is my therapist working? - June 25th 2012, 05:27 PM

There's a difference between having a degree and therapy style. Maybe I'm wrong, but when I think degree I think "book smarts" not necessarily people skills. If you don't tell her she isn't going to know, you can be tactful about it you don't have to just go in there and start tearing into her out of nowhere. As a future counselor, I would WANT somebody to tell me what I'm doing wrong because I understand that everyone is different and my chosen techniques won't work for every client. The key here though is to tell her what you think WOULD work, and she'll probably ask you that so go in with a general idea. Once you've discussed it with her, if you still don't think it will work for you, try a different therapist and nip issues like this in the bud with the new person.


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Re: Is my therapist working? - June 25th 2012, 06:09 PM

Psychological professionals lose their licenses all the time because they don't perform good therapy with their clients. At least, that's how it is in the United States. Getting the degree is just the first step - it shows you can learn the material in the textbooks. Hey, good for you... doesn't mean you can actually interact with clients in an appropriate way. So actually, yes, you ARE allowed to tell her, "Your style isn't working for me."

Some therapists are completely existentialistic. They focus on the "here and now," things like how your body feels at the moment and that sort of thing. That may work for some people, but other people might prefer a therapist who primarily uses CBT, giving out homework assignments and teaching the client various coping skills. That might not work for yet another person, so they'll go with someone who has a psychodynamic approach, and so on and so forth.

That's just the theory, mind you... that doesn't even cover the personality style of the therapist and their specific tactics for delivering information to you. As you can see, there are many, many factors that go into whether or not your therapist is a good "fit" for you. You can stay with this therapist because you're more worried about offending them than actually improving, or you can speak up and see some changes in your life, whether it's with this therapist or another one.





   
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Re: Is my therapist working? - June 26th 2012, 05:27 AM

I would be up front with her. As others have said, be curt and polite.

"It's nothing personal, and I know what you do helps some people, but I don't feel your style of therapy is helping me. I would prefer if you would do X more often, and less of Y."

Just flat out explain to her whiat is and isn't working with her style. If a cook continued to put too much spice in a dish, you would eventually tell him about it. It's his job to perfect what needs to be done. Would he fail to improve you would seek a new restraunt.

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