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Chaos Theory Offline
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Exclamation Infidelity and descend to madness - July 5th 2012, 06:27 AM

I had a post earlier about suffering from infidelity.

I used to trust her. Now, I am more than paranoid. I cannot concentrate just thinking about her infidelity. I raid her communication devices. It's necessary, I am starting to find more evidence of her infidelity.

I have violent thoughts when thinking about infidelity. I desire the most violent death to infidels, for bringing devastation to my heart. I always see the variety of vice in humankind and have negative expectation to strangers. The infidelity pushed me over the threshold where I wish the fiery demise upon humankind. People disgust me.

I start to see a lot of blood in my dreams. The sanguine nightmare always causes me to dread the day ahead.

I feel as if I am losing myself to hate, anger, and bloodlust.

Is it so bad? If I am to be freed from having the slightest hint of hope for this wretched world, perhaps I can finally rest peacefully.

I am more vulnerable than I want to know.

To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To give of one's self; To leave the world a bit better...; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - This is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Ella.x Offline
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Re: Infidelity and descend to madness - July 5th 2012, 09:13 PM

In my opinion, it's probably best to end the relationship as it seems like it's causing you more harm than good. Have you thought about seeing a counsellor to try and work through some of the anger and other emotions that you're feeling? I really think it could help. One persons mistake doesn't mean the end of mankind. I know it feels like that right now, but talking to someone might help you to figure things out.
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emerson Offline
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Re: Infidelity and descend to madness - July 9th 2012, 04:07 AM

The distrust is an understandable reaction to her infidelity.
The violent thoughts, and your florid expression of them, should disturb you. If you can get help (from a psychiatrist), you might consider looking into that.

"He not busy being born is busy dying."
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