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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ementine Offline
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It's all too much/rant - July 22nd 2012, 02:51 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have way too much on my plate and it is driving me mad. This is anger and confusion built up over a weeks, but it's been more bother some the past few days.
I'm supposed to come to terms with my own sexuality, two of my friends. I've barely been getting any sleep at all. I've been told I am disrespecting my two best friends, they are transgender. But when talking about them online I am not sure how to explain them. It will make me sound like a lesbian, and I'm not. I don't like guys but I am not a lesbian. I like girls, but I am just not a lesbian. I don't know what I am.

The thing that gets me is that my two friends Becca and Sam don't care what gender we call them, they said themselves that they don't care what gender we call them as long as we know the truth. Sam just has everyone call him gay to save the trouble of explaining himself to everyone that doesn't matter. I don't need someone who doesn't know me or them to tell me I am wrong. I had enough of that the other night when I was told I am wrong for thinking that they are a different gender. See why I'm so confused?

There are some people who just don't know about them and some that just shouldn't know. It just drives me mad because I am trying to figure out my own self, I don't have time to spend trying to figure out what to do about them when I could just be told what to call them. I am scared to death of being called a lesbian, I grew up in a family that didn't like that kind of thing. I have nothing against it and love my lesbian friends, but it just isn't something I want to be called.

As you may be able to tell, I am a very confused person and I am overly stressed out but can't get any sleep until like 5am. Every time I am faced with this I want to rip my room and myself apart. But I don't. But of course this is the wonderful world of the internet where no one cares about anyone else's problems and if you aren't friends with someone they could care less if you dropped dead. I know they might not care what I have to deal with because they are not my friend at all and probably can't even stand me. I don't know most of the people I talk to, but that doesn't mean I don't care if they are upset.

The person that is doing this, when I first met them I didn't care what they were. I later found out they were gay. But we had one common interest, we were both interested in Wicca/Pagan religions. That is all that mattered to me. Because gay, straight, bi, trans, pan, whatever someone is there is a high chance I will like them. Either as a friend or more than that. A lot of males bother me because I have had very bad experiences with males. Straight males. I cannot stand them, I have just been treated nothing but badly by them. I don't mind any other guy with a different sexuality. Almost every single one of my friends, male, female or otherwise are gay, bi, trans, ect. If he doesn't like what I say, just tell me what I should say or stay the hell away from my posts.

Someone just knock me out, I am so sick of this. It is driving me mad. and yeah you would think this would go in with the sexuality forum. Well, there is a reason that I put it here.



If anyone has answers, please share. If you don't like what was said, please just ignore it and move on with your life. I don't have time to be called a drama queen because I'm stressed out.
   
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Re: It's all too much/rant - July 22nd 2012, 03:45 AM

I realise you are bicurious.
Maybe you should try different relationships.
Since you are a girl, date a boy, or something. Find out if you REALLY dont like-like boys.

You wont be aplayerbecause you are trying to find yourself, not just physical benefits!

I have BPD so I deal with the same issue.


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Re: It's all too much/rant - July 22nd 2012, 03:50 AM

I've dated guys, and I'm really close with my friend Becca, and have done with things with him. He is transgendered but I liked him before I knew that, he has a female body. It feels right both ways. But I can't stand most guys. and the term' bisexual and prefers girls' doesn't work. But my friends know me better, and say that I might be pansexual. I'm just off put my straight guys because of a really bad experience, I had.
   
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Re: It's all too much/rant - July 22nd 2012, 03:53 AM

Ah.
Well, that is quite confusing.
Date a girl or two...idk.
Only if you know they are lesbian.


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Re: It's all too much/rant - July 22nd 2012, 03:57 AM

I have Becca. I love Becca and I don't want any other person with a female body.
   
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Re: It's all too much/rant - July 22nd 2012, 04:46 AM

Maybe tell Becca how you feel andd stuff and talk to Becca about it.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: It's all too much/rant - July 22nd 2012, 05:16 AM

She knows all this.
   
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