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Someone help me.. - August 8th 2012, 01:42 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My mind is unraveling. I can no longer tell what's real and what isn't. The things the people around me say are false feel so much more real than any of them. The voices that talk to me are telling me to hurt people and to hurt myself. They shout at me and get the children to poke and prod and pinch. The children just giggle like it's some sort of game. Things morph and change and I don't know if it's real. Reflections turn bloody and gruesome or morph into demons that try to climb out of the mirror to attack me. I thank God that right now I have enough peace and collection to type any of this out. Most of the day I spend locked in my room, waiting for the whispers and screams to go away. I don't know what to do. I have to act as normal as possible around my family, but I've stopped interacting with them on account of not being sure if they're even really there. My psychiatrist thought it was imagination and lack of sleep.. To be fair, I was trying to make it sound like nothing, and I only told her about one instance of it happening. I'm afraid she won't believe me if I try to tell her. Plus, when I try to speak about it the words won't come. When they do, the voices warn me that it isn't safe to talk about them. I'm so afraid.
   
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Re: Someone help me.. - August 8th 2012, 03:55 PM

Hi there.

Im going through a similar experience to you. The first time I spoke about it was probably about a year ago. I remember my mum took me for an emergency appointment with my psych and I remember trying to tell her but it was so hard I hardly said anything. As me and my mum were leaving the hospital, I remember falling to the ground in absolute tears because the voices told me I had done a bad thing and that he was going to get people to get me. I've now moved onto a adult mental health team and im on anti-psychotics and Im being referred to a team whom deals with early intervention for psychosis. Something that helped me was writing it down and giving letters to people. I do this an awful lot. Have you tried it? I know its hard but the sooner you reach out the sooner the problem can be heard and can be diagnosed if needed and the sooner you'll get treatment to help calm it all down.

You can do this so keep fighting and don't be on your own.
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: Someone help me.. - August 8th 2012, 05:34 PM

I've tried writing things down, but they know and they get mad. The man in the shadow prepares his gun or knife (it changes sometimes, but usually it's a knife) while the voices explain what he's going to do to me if I don't stop.. It's a risk for me to be typing this.. They're getting agitated. How do I get them to stop? I don't think medicines would work.. They aren't just in my head.
   
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