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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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Jocasta Offline
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Exclamation Is She Dead?? - October 17th 2012, 03:34 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

How do you know if what your seeing is a hallucination or just your imagination making an overlying image on your vision? A while back i lost someone close, she was my best friend/sister/lover, i never tried to categorize it but we'd been with each other in one way or another till the 2011 summer when she OD'd. Ever since then i've had nightmares and sometimes I wake up and i can still see them. When i walk through school, out of the corner of my eye i'll see her. I can feel her brushing hair over my ear sometimes and i randomly start crying and i have to come up with some excuse to explain it :/. the other week she was sitting in the hallway just smiling at me with a handful of pills and i snapped. she was about to take them so i ran over and knocked her over, but it was actually someone i dont know. I ran out of the building and got a suspension for it. which is why i have time to write this. Can someone tell me im not crazy, i mean, im clean now so it cant be drugs right?





How can man die better? Than facing fearful odds, for the ashes of his father, in the temple of his gods.

"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I ever had."
   
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Re: Is She Dead?? - October 17th 2012, 04:36 PM

Hi Allie, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't say whether it's down to the past drug use or what, but that it may be an idea to talk to a professional about it. I have heard of it happening when people you love pass on - you think about them so much that your mind tricks you into seeing them. A professional might be able to help you understand and deal with it? I'm thinking of you and here if you want to talk.
   
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Re: Is She Dead?? - October 17th 2012, 06:29 PM

This is something to talk to a professional about. Some drugs will continue to have an affect on a person for years after they've stopped using those drugs, depending on what kind of drug, how much of the drug, and how often they took the drug. This could also be due to a mental illness (ex. PTSD or schizophrenia) or a general medical condition. The point is, this isn't something you can easily determine, so it's important to rule out all the possibilities and receive a full check-up by a professional.






   
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Re: Is She Dead?? - October 17th 2012, 06:43 PM

You need further help for this. You aren't "crazy" but you're certainly not "healthy" either. This is an issue that will likely inflame over time, so seeking help as early as possible will be the healthiest in the long-run for you.

You're mad with grief and this is obviously hurting you, so a healthcare professional is your best shot.

- Justin



"Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
Technologic
   
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Exclamation Another Episode - October 19th 2012, 05:03 PM

I had another episode today. I saw her again. She was sitting in the corner of my room this morning with her head in her knees. She didn't say anything she just looked up and stared at me. I waited for what had to have been a few hours for her to go away before i could leave my room. It wasn't so bad at first but now these things are starting to really tug at my head. She's always around now. And it kills me because she never says anything. I miss her so much and would do anything to get her her back in my arms again but not like this. And I can't take meds or have this on paper or the army scholarship i have will be voided and i will get PDQ'd from the services. and i cannot allow that, ive come too far. I almost started drinking again today but I asked my friend to empty out all the alcohol but it scares me because that need was there again. This is really messing with my head and my heart now and im so tired....





How can man die better? Than facing fearful odds, for the ashes of his father, in the temple of his gods.

"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I ever had."
   
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Re: Is She Dead?? - October 20th 2012, 07:26 AM

WOuld seeing someone privately help? That might mean it didn't have to go on your records straight away if at all... Just for an assessment or something? So you could find ways to deal with it?
   
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