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MidnightMay Offline
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Smile looking for opinions and tips - October 23rd 2012, 03:54 AM

I was wondering how people are able to control like somewhat of conversation in your time at counseling. I only have 45minutes- 1 hour. I feel we often lead to really stupid conversation. I have no idea if thats how she gets things to come out like conversate make it more relaxing and easier to open. Lets just say that is no where used to whaI have experienced before. I don't like wasting time! To me just talking about little things isn't helping me with what I need. I can't afford to see someone else and this person is all my insurance will allow me to see. They are so horrible right now. So any tips on keeping it to a bare minimum? Also I have the issue this one tells me I have nothing that isn't normal but yet I have a list of things. She kinda blames people who are not involved as the reasons I think, hear and do certain things. I guess I am just no satisfied but what are your opinions on that situation also?

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Re: looking for opinions and tips - October 24th 2012, 07:13 AM

Well, I'm a little confused. Are you saying that you don't want to waste time and want to get straight to the problem during your therapy sessions? If so, then why don't you tell your therapist what you want to talk about? Instead of letting them ask random questions, say, "Hey, this happened, and I want to work toward finding a solution." Therapists aren't mind-readers. If you want them to work for you, then you need to do some work in return. Tell them what you want to work on, and they SHOULD be willing to step up to the plate.

Therapists have different orientations. A therapist who adheres to the cognitive-behavioral approach, for example, may focus primarily on changing thoughts/behaviors, and not care as much about the family of origin. A therapist who adheres to family systems, on the other hand, may see your behavior as an effect of what happened between you and your family members. If this therapist falls under the latter category, then it would make sense for her to "blame" people for some of your issues (she would see you as part of a system - your family members influence your thoughts/behaviors, whether it's directly or indirectly). That's also something you might want to talk about with your therapist. If you want to focus on a certain problem, and don't want to spend a bunch of time talking about your parents, then by all means, tell her so! Communicate, communicate, communicate. =) The more communication that takes place, the more you will get out of your therapy sessions. With that being said, it couldn't hurt to spend a LITTLE bit of time thinking about how the people in your life MAY have affected your behavior, whether directly or indirectly. Over the past year, I've discovered that my father played a MUCH greater role in shaping my belief system than I originally thought. Recognizing my father's influence allowed me to change my belief system and ultimately led to a change in behavior.

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