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Lost - October 29th 2012, 07:43 PM

Hey hey

So getting right to it I'm fairly depressed and such and on medication etc.
But basically I'm really struggling with it, like really. I can't physically bring myself to tell anyone how bad I feel. My family, friends and doctor all know I'm depressed but they really don't know the extent cause I've withheld so much information from all of them. Mood swings are rampant and insanely frequent, constant angry outbursts, pervasive suicidal thoughts and so forth. Keep stockpiling medication but then can't make myself go through with it. Weak, I suppose. Really strong feelings of loneliness and isolation, I know it sounds like a cliche but I really don't feel anyone understands what I talk about most of the time. Absolutely crave intimate relationships, never had one, don't even know what to do. Get really bitter and jealous when good things happen to other people, indifferent to good things happening to me. Was at University, dropped out. Wanted to go back next year, seems unlikely. Surely can't just sit about for a year, can't work, can't face it.

Sorry this just reads like a list of symptoms, not really feeling good.

xx

Last edited by Palmolive; October 31st 2012 at 01:24 PM. Reason: Removing prefix
   
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Re: Lost - October 31st 2012, 01:29 PM

In all honestly to get better you're going to have to work really hard by helping yourself which includes talking to people. You've clearly got a support network but you're not talking to those people. They can only help you if they know what's going on and how you're feeling. And you can phsyically bring yourself to do it, but it's hard and I get that. But you want help to try and start getting and feeling better, you're going to have to do this. You can even try writing them a letter instead if that helps you. They can help you overcome this things and can help you control the mood swings but if they don't know about anything, what are the supposed to do, you know?

Just remember that you can do this. You honestly can so keep on fighting and let people help you.


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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