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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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Symphony. Offline
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Self-esteem, shyness, etc. - January 10th 2013, 08:43 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So, I've been through a period of depression and have OCD. I'm putting that out there, simply because I don't know if that info could help with solving these issues.
I'm not really depressed. But I have an INCREDIBLY low self-esteem- I hate myself for this one thing that I'm way too upset about to share. But it doesn't affect me all the time, just when I really think about it. I'll also think about something that I did that was even slightly wrong, and I'll feel pretty much devastated about it for a little while. Finally, if someone makes a slightly rude comment about me, even if I KNOW they're probably joking, I'll be ridiculously hurt by it, on a level that I think is moreso than other people's reactions. In these moments, I often want to do things like dig my fingernails into my thumb tip or something. It's been like this for a really long time.
I'm not quite sure what to do.. Any advice...?


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Re: Self-esteem, shyness, etc. - January 12th 2013, 02:34 PM

Hey,

Self-esteem is something many people need to work with to boost up and feel better about themselves, but it is hard to do. It will not happen overnight unfortunately. The first step you could try is when you are in one of the moods where your self-esteem is especially bad, write down everything you are thinking. Mostly they will probably come out to be negative statements about yourself or things you've done. Then, either while you are still in this mood or when you feel better, it is up to you, write down two positive things about yourself to each negative. Next time you feel so negatively about yourself, pull the list out and remind yourself there are great things about you. =) Many times there are also things that I will write when looking down on myself, and when I am in a better mood I feel silly that I felt that way about myself for some little issue or something that really is not true. It helps to keep those in mind as well, and remember that they are irrelevant when you are experiencing very low self-esteem.

There are many times I feel similar to what you explained about being devastated about things you have done wrong. Honestly, I try to do my best to take the time to sit down and truly apologize to anyone involved. If this is not possible, I will ground my aura. I know that probably sounds odd, but whether you believe in that type of thing or not, it can have its benefits. Basically it is just taking the negative energy (or thoughts, feelings, and so forth) and releasing it. In this case one is supposed to release it back into the Earth, assuming that nature can recycle the negative energy to make positive.
There are many ways to go about "Grounding" yourself which you can find through Google. What has worked best for me is to place your feet on the ground, whether you are sitting or standing. You can take an hour to do this, or you can do it for ten seconds, whatever feels right for the mood and situation. Anyway, then you can picture a tornado like shape of whatever color helps you feel calm or works best. Slowly have it come down circling around you, and pulling negative thoughts, energy, whatever you would like to call it, out of each part of your body. If possible, allow yourself to feel it in each section of your body, it can be super relaxing! Then picture the tornado going into the ground, taking all of the negative along with it. Then realize that it is gone, whether you feel better thinking about it as it just disappeared or it became recycled. Personally, after this I like to picture a warm glowing ball coming into my body, and the ball being punctured, oozing out good feelings that fill up wherever a negative thought or feeling was. Out with the old, in with the new type of idea.

It is hard to have a positive self-esteem while living in the type of societies we do, where everyone makes fun of each other and talks down to each other. People truly think it is funny even when it usually is not true. If these are your friends, talk to them, tell them that you know they do not mean anything by it, but it does not make you feel good. If they cannot respect your feelings, then you should find other people to surround yourself with who make you feel great about yourself. =)

On a last note, doing something to cause yourself some type of pain is not uncommon, especially with mental health issues involved. Do your best not to resort to that, as it (obviously) can be harmful to your body. Also, it can become an addiction that you may not be able to stop. I used to self harm multiple times a day, now I have not in a long time, but I think about it a lot. Simply doing daily tasks such as shaving my legs brings such a strong desire to harm myself that I feel like I cannot handle it. Just make sure you find healthy ways of coping with these feelings. This could be like journaling, drawing, going for a walk, calling a friend, or many many more!

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you soon begin to start seeing yourself in a more positive light.
Maria.



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