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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
HealingAngel Offline
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I don't know how to ask for counseling... - January 23rd 2013, 08:04 PM

I'm not even ready to open up and talk. I don't trust anyone and this isn't going to just be a quick fix because it takes me ages to truly trust someone. I just know that I really, really need help. I cry everyday, I have a borderline eating disorder, a terrible self image, poor relationships, and hit rock bottom a few day ago. Got alcohol poisoning. Almost died. I just need help.

How do I ask? My mom will understand but my dad definitely won't...


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Greenie Offline
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Re: I don't know how to ask for counseling... - January 23rd 2013, 10:55 PM

Hey Melody!
I'm so glad you've been able to recognise you need help.
When I used to be in the same boat as you, I tried putting hints out there that I needed help. Which was easier than putting it straight out there as I didn't openly admit I needed help, but you can't guarantee people will get the hint. The quickest, simplest way would be to go to your school counsellor, but if that's not available, simply telling your mum that you think you need some type of therapy/counselling would be the easiest.
If speaking is too hard, you can always write a note or email, but speaking directly to someone usually means more privacy, and the message gets through straight away.

Good luck! Pm me if you ever want to ask about something

¬Amy


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know how to ask for counseling... - January 23rd 2013, 11:24 PM

Hey there, Melody.

The first step to getting help is realising you need it, so you're already a step closer to getting it. Parents almost always have a way of finding out things and the sooner they know, the better. I'm sorry you've been struggling so much, but you've gotten through it all, yes? I'm proud of you for that. It may be a struggle, but never stop trying because it's worth it. There are times when you're not at an incredibly low point, and those are the times you need to focus on so you can have more of them. That's what counselling will eventually help you do, because it's just too hard to do it all by yourself.

There's many ways you can go about getting help. You could write a letter and show it to your parents (or just your mum to start out with, since she may understand better than your dad), you could have a talk with one or both of your parents, you could talk to your school counsellor about it first and have them tell your parents for you, or maybe you could get one of those airplanes to write it out in the clouds for your parents. Regardless of how you do it, it involves communicating how you're feeling and doing. You don't have to tell them everything. Just a simple "Hey, I think I need some extra help" sort of thing.

You said you will have trouble trusting your counsellor, but that's expected. They don't expect you to pour your heart out in one day. You trust them over time and slowly work through things. It doesn't happen overnight, even though it would be much easier if it did. You also said you cry a lot, and that's completely okay. Crying does not show weakness, in reality it shows strength, because it shows that even in times where you may feel at your weakest, you're still muddling through.

Counselling will help you with all the things you struggle with. It's not a magic fix, but it's worth it when you start to feel better.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to send me a message.
- Immy.


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There is nothing pretty about damage, about pain, about heartache.
What is beautiful is their strength, their resilience, their fortitude
as they display an ocean of courage when they pick through the
wreckage of their life to build something beautiful brand new,
against every odd that is stacked against them.” — Nikita Gill
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know how to ask for counseling... - January 24th 2013, 12:03 AM

Hi there

I agree with Immy. The first step to getting the help is realising you need it and finding ways to go around that which is what you're doing so that's great.

You can talk to you parents about what is going on for you and you can talk to them about the options and they can support you to get help or if you prefer not to have them involved at this point, you can always talk to someone at school such as a teacher about what support your school offers. It might be that you can see a school nurse/school counsellor. Would you be okay to have the support from your school? Or you can even talk to your doctor. Explain what is happening at the moment, how you are feeling and explain that you want the help but that it's just a worry for you. Like already said, if you don't feel you could sit in front of you parents, a teacher or your doctor and say it out like that, you can write it all down for one of them. I always do this and it really helps me to communicate with people about how I feel and what I am struggling with. It's something to think about.

Secondly, if you were to go into counselling or if you were to see a school nurse/school counsellor, they understand that it might be hard for you to talk to them. They don't expect you to go into your first session, open up abotu everything and tell them exactly how you're feeling and exactly how you're thinking. They will know and understand, that this is your first appointment and that you have to build a relationship with, build up trust and that you will slowly begin to trust them and talk to them. You're not expected to walk in and tell them everything about you and your life, okay? And that is okay. They'll allow you to go at your own pace and allow you to talk when you are ready. This is about you getting the help you need and about you be able to open up when YOU feel able too.

But help is out there so don't be afraid to start reaching out for it okay? Hang on in there, you can do this.

Jessie.


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know how to ask for counseling... - January 25th 2013, 07:24 PM

Well I've researched some counselors in the area and found one I might want to try going to, but money is just so tight... I'm terrified to ask. I really think I need to wait it out... Try to get over it on my own, I just can't put that financial burden on my parents' shoulders. It's just too much...


When You're At The End Of Your Rope...
Tie A Knot... and Hold On... <3
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
I think I kinda, sorta, maybe... mighttt just love him after all...
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
Settle precious, I know what you're going through,
Minutes before you got here, I was going to jump too...
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
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Re: I don't know how to ask for counseling... - January 25th 2013, 10:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HealingAngel View Post
Well I've researched some counselors in the area and found one I might want to try going to, but money is just so tight... I'm terrified to ask. I really think I need to wait it out... Try to get over it on my own, I just can't put that financial burden on my parents' shoulders. It's just too much...
There are psychological professionals who offer "sliding scale fees," which means they base their hourly rate on how much your family can afford to pay. Many psychological professionals will even offer a certain number of sessions for free! Also, your medical insurance may be able to cover some (or all) of the cost for sessions. Finally, there may be nearby universities or community clinics that are willing to offer free services.

If you truly feel you need help, don't let your concerns about finances get in the way. There ARE ways to get around financial obstacles. You just have to keep looking. =) Why not give some of these people a call, and ask for referrals to other professionals who might be able to accommodate your needs?






   
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