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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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i_like_black Offline
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Frustration. - February 21st 2013, 06:39 AM

I've been very frustrated lately.

I'm 24, and I feel like I've been left behind by my peer group. The majority have now finished studying or training, have jobs, and about half are now married. I'm none of those things. It's frustrating for a few reasons - I know I have intellect, and I know I have qualities that could make me successful.

But I'm not.

I've never managed to hold down a full-time job, because I got unwell. I've also never done well with full-time study because I got unwell. I'm not even able to go back and work at getting qualified part-time, because I simply can't afford it. Why can't I afford it? I can't get any work. Nobody wants to hire somebody with limited hours.

Because I'm receiving government financial assistance for a minimum of two years, I'm not able to work more than 15 - 20 hours a week.

I feel like I'm going in circles. Maybe it doesn't sound like much to people reading this, but as a younger person I imagined that by 24 I would have a qualification and a job. And here I am, with neither. I was talking to someone today who said I just need to accept that I'm not going to be able to do the same things that the people I grew up with have done.

And to be honest, that's the most unfair thing I've heard in ages!
Why should an illness be able to hold me back? Why aren't there medications that work for me? Why can't I cope with a regular work or study week?

These are serious questions. I don't want to spend the rest of my life relying on the government. I want to be self-sufficient.
I don't want to spend years and years needing to see a mental health team a couple of times a week. I want to have normal friendships and relationships, not simply professionals who have a duty of care.
I want to be qualified. I want to work in a job that doesn't feel like a dead-end.

But everything feels like nothing good is going to happen. Like I'll be going in circles for the rest of my life. Like I'll never work properly. Or finish my degree. Or anything.

I feel like my illness has taken over my life. And because of this, I want to take my life. It's so incredibly frustrating. Things shouldn't be this way! I'm smart! I'm talented! I'm meant to be successful!

And I really do try to stay positive. But it's so hard. It's like I'm walking down a very short road, and once I reach the end of it, I just sit there for the rest of my life.

I would give anything to have my mental health back. Anything at all.

Please, if anyone has any advice, please. I'm supposed to be going places but I'm not. The place I achieve the most these days is a MMORPG. That's just sad.

Everything's just sad. It's sad and it's hard and I actually want to go out and do things, and make something of myself, and there's this huge thing in the way, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to shift it.
   
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Re: Frustration. - March 1st 2013, 06:45 AM

Hey, Jess! I know we've been talking a bit lately, and I'm truly sorry that you're feeling this way. It's completely understandable - I'll be turning 24 on April 1, and if I were in your position, I would be feeling the same way! It's one of those catch-22 situations where you want something, but in order to get it, you need to have experience, which you can't get because of mental health related limitations. My advice is to focus on what you CAN do. Maybe you can't get a paid job, but surely there are ways to feel productive outside of involvement with MMORPGs. What about volunteering - perhaps even volunteering for agencies that assist people suffering from mental illnesses? I know Australia is different than the United States, but there are organizations where I live that ONLY want volunteers who have had personal experiences with mental illness. This allows them to connect with people receiving services in ways that other people (like your peers) couldn't. You may not be paid, but you can find a sense of purpose and gain experience, which may help with your job search in the future.






   
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Re: Frustration. - March 1st 2013, 08:33 PM

Can I just say that Australia is NOT New Zealand, we are separate countries, I am from New Zealand But you're right, it is different here.
   
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Re: Frustration. - March 1st 2013, 09:13 PM

Whoops, sorry! I didn't see it under "location," but I knew you were in that region of the world, so I took a guess.






   
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Re: Frustration. - March 2nd 2013, 05:00 PM

Hey Jess, I know exactly how you feel.

I'm 25, so obviously I'm in the same age group. I had no job up until a bit less than 2 years ago, and even then I work part-time. I just moved out recently, friends my age have been on their own and working proper hours for years. Some are married, some have kids, I am lucky to be in a stable relationship. All because I am "unwell" as well, as you put it.

But, when you think of what you haven't done in your life, think of how far you HAVE come along despite your issues. Your mental health and neurological issues are hurdles in life that your peer group typically doesn't have to face. The fact you've overcome those things is always a positive.


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