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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Always * Offline
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Counselling? - March 6th 2013, 02:42 PM

I have serious anxiety when it comes to school. Like a never ending fear of failure that I can't shake even though most of my grades are 70%+ I'm always afraid that I am going to fail because I can't always recall every last detail that ever came up in class and stuff. I am starting to freak out cause I have so many major papers, tests, take home exams and finals etc in a very short period of time. I'm scared I'll fail all my classes (or one of them) even though that's ridiculous cause I am (at least doing my best) to manage my time and I understand the material so it would be a freak accident for me to fail anything. But to get more than one grade that is under a B- (70%) this semester would basically be a gigantic disaster. One grade in the 60-69% range I could live with but if all my grades slipped that low I'd flip. So it's not even outright failure that I am scared of, it's even just getting under a 70. I can't control my fear of this and it dominates my thoughts. I can't just be stressed out because I have to do so much work, its not that simple of a concern. I thought things would be better once my grades were up and I was doing well consistently and wouldn't have to be worried about being kicked out of school cause my grades suck... Only it's still a major problem for me. Just because I am not having breakdowns every few days doesn't mean much when I am constantly afraid that I am going to fail.

I want to get a handle on this. I am NOT a stupid person. I am actually reasonably intelligent and I enjoy learning in school. I feel like I could enjoy my education more if I wasn't dealing with this fear of failure. I am going to college to get a 2 year diploma when I am done. I am hoping that the shift in the style of learning will help me manage my stress (ex. more assignments and hands on learning as opposed to massive papers worth on average 20-25% of my grade and shit loads of reading) I think if I didn't have to worry about the consequences if one grade gets messed up then it would help my anxieties (ex. if I fail one assignment worth 10% that's not as likely to be a huge deal than if I fail a paper worth 25% of my grade) and I think the way the learning is applied in college will be more my pace/style (hands on, practical). BUT none the less I want to shake this fear before I go there. I want to go in feeling like I CAN pass as long as I work hard.

So my solution is to go to counselling. I understand that stress is part of the college/university life but my fears of not succeeding is a whole other matter. I can handle stress. Heck, I can even handle this fear of failure (hey, I'm NOT allowing myself to fail simply because I am afraid I might)... But I want to figure out how to deal with it better and not let it rule my thoughts so much. But the thing is that I have never been to counselling before and I don't what to expect or if this is something people even help with (judging by the looks of it the place i want to go to does, they can also probably help me with my stress over what to do after I graduate next year)... So I was hoping for some insight as to what to expect if I go to counselling for this.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
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Re: Counselling? - March 6th 2013, 05:29 PM

This is something they can absolutely help you with, and it would probably be treated like anybody with anxiety. Since exposure doesn't work with this kind of anxiety (we expose you to what you're afraid of until it doesn't scare you anymore) there will probably be some elements of cognitive and/or behavioral therapy. For example, going through exactly what would happen if you failed one class, then what and if you failed everything, then what would happen? until you get to the end of that and suddenly the end doesn't sound so bad. Or, how realistic is the thought that you are going to fail? If you have an A or B that's different than if you might actually fail something. Then you would challenge the unrealistic thoughts of failure with evidence that proves that it probably won't happen. You might also learn some relaxation techniques. I hope that made sense and that it helped. There are several different orientations of counseling, but this is probably what is most likely to be used.

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Re: Counselling? - March 6th 2013, 07:36 PM

I think it is a wonderful idea! Counseling is good for anybody and anything honestly. Sometimes people tend to make it out to be something you shouldn't have unless you are having serious issues but honestly everybody has things they could work on and better themselves by and its awesome you are going to do that!!!

It should help you get more insight of what is going on and help you be more relaxed. You get to go through things like ruling out those negative thoughts of your going to fail if you have awesome grades(not that its not a bad thing to worry about but it can make you stress way too much), you can find ways to study in a more relaxed way, find out how to deal with something lower than you would expect. I know when I have talked about failure in sports or something we talked about why I felt I was a failure and how to be prepared so if I dont meet my expectations of myself. I also had to learn how to make better expectations of myself instead of setting the bar so incredibly high that I fail everytime. You will have to let us know how it goes!!

feel free to PM me...

Always keep a smile on your face and Lots of love in you heart! <3

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take it off and breathe

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