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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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Palmolive Offline
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Voices. - March 27th 2013, 06:47 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So this is really hard to write. And I'm not really sure where to start or how to start it. I've struggled with mental health problems since I was about 11. This year, I was diagnosed with emotionally unstable personality disorder. I've been experiencing hallucinations for maybe a few years now. I'm on Quitiapine (450mg) to help kill these a little. But they've been getting really bad.

He never leaves me alone. I can't get him to stop talking to me and I can't cope with it anymore. I feel his breathe, hear him breathing. Feel him touching my neck. His cigarette breathe. She shows me how to hang myself in my room and he keeps telling me to do it. He keeps telling me to kill myself. To act on the thoughts I'm having. He gets people to wait outside my house and I can feel their eyes burning through my walls and through my skin. He gets people to read my mind and it really scares me. And it means that when I try to plan my escape routes from the people he gets to get after me, they are never going to work, because they read my mind, so they know them. I see eyes under the floorboards and see spiders and snakes. Feel them around my feet.

Yesterday, he wouldn't stop. He just wouldn't stop talking to me, stop telling me to do and the next thing I'm just stood in the middle of the road with cars beeping at me because I'm just stood there and I couldn't get myself to move because he was stood in front of me and I couldn't get him to move. He doesn't leave.

I'm feeling so low right now and I'm really struggling to cope with it all. Please, if you have anyway of helping me, please, help me. I don't know what to do. I need to make him stop.


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Re: Voices. - March 28th 2013, 12:40 AM

Is Quetiapine the only antipsychotic drug you've tried thus far? Some antipsychotics are better at treating delusions and hallucinations than others. It sounds like these symptoms are still very problematic for you, so I would talk to your mental health professional/team about this and see if there is something else you can try.






   
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Re: Voices. - March 28th 2013, 05:24 PM

I've also been on Risperidone and Aripiprazole. I'm in the middle of going of my anti-depressant (Mirtazapine) an we're looking into starting a new anti-depresent/mood stabaliser so right now changing the anti-psychotic or the dose of it, isn't an option. I tend to re-act badly the side affects and have had quite a few allergeic reactions (why the Risperidone was stopped) and I guess it's important to do one at once, so we know what would be causing any problems, if any problems were to happen.

Thankyou for the reply.


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Re: Voices. - March 28th 2013, 10:28 PM

I just wanted to let you know that I know what it's like. I've had mental health problems since I was 8 and started to hear things when I was 17. I've been on such a long list of mood stabilizers, antidepressants, antipsychotics, and anxiety medications that I've lost track of what I have and haven't been on.
The important thing to remember is that this is in no way you're fault, I know I have a tendency to blame myself for how I am at times and it's just not fair to yourself to do that. You also need to trust in your doctor and keep trying no matter what happens. Sometimes medication helps sometimes they do more harm than good, and even worse is when you find a medication that makes your life bearable and then it quits on you for no reason. Just keep your chin up and roll with the punches, that's the best advice anyone can give you. Things will get better you just need to hang in there and do everything you can to help yourself get there.


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Re: Voices. - March 30th 2013, 01:33 AM

I was on 500mg quetiapine for a long time as a mood stabiliser (I don't experience psychosis, luckily), but I remember getting really paranoid (thought the police were going to arrest me) and my doctor saying that 500mg was not a high enough dose to act in an anti-psychotic manner. I'm not sure how correct that is, but I do know that my old flatmate, who is schizophrenic, took 800mg of quetiapine a day. (As well as 450mg clozapine, which is sort of a last-resort anti-psychotic.)

She found that the quetiapine at the 800mg dose didn't get rid of her voices, but it made them quieter - enough that she could usually sort out the difference between what they were saying being true or not.

It's important to remember also, nobody can read your mind.
People only know what you are thinking when you tell them. Him and her, they only exist for you - and that means they can't communicate with anybody else. They can't tell anybody what you think, or what you feel. The only reaon they know what you're thinking and feeling is because they're sort of a part of you.

It's sad that they are so awful to you, and it must be horrible to navigate life through all the things that appear to be there for you. But remember, eventually, something will make it easier for you to tell what's real and what's not. A really good technique is to find people you trust, and ask them.

For example, if you see snakes and insects on the floor, ask a person, "What do you see on the floor?" If you think that person may have lied to you, then ask another person, and another. If three different people all say the same thing, then they're probably telling the truth.

And . . . and if your voices are encouraging you to be destructive, talk back at them. Tell them how beautiful you are, tell them how much everybody wants you alive, tell them you believe you can recover, tell them you don't have time for their shit because you have to work.

   
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Re: Voices. - March 30th 2013, 05:43 AM

I don't know what it's like what your going through it sounds awful. I feel so bad for you. Feel free to stop reading because I don't know much but I agree that yuo should try talking to a mental health professional about different medication I would suggest that you find someone you trust and when ever the hallucinations come on tell them everything that is happening if you don't have anyone you can write it down and post it here so we can help or just record it somewhere private if ou don't feel comfortable sharing.
Just remember YOU control your actions not him.
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