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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Anzel Offline
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Spazz. - January 12th 2009, 05:05 PM

My mind is in a flurry. Whoosh, whoosh goes the thoughts, flying back and forth in my brain and dying to get out. I've never truly know what racing thoughts are, I've felt like this at random points for years now, but as I've come to realize it, most people don't seem to go all whoosh-spazz out of nowhere. Whoosh.

I find myself obsessing over random things that come to mind. My theories of how the world works are changing, thinking about spheres and why they are what they are, the interactions of atoms and the reasons that physics could possibly make any sense at all.

I move around too much and I get palpitations and have to slow down, or just stop moving in general. The angst feeling has made a nest in my chest, yet again, after weeks, and I got a wonderful eye-squeezy migraine today. I want to run up and down a wall and everything is interesting to me.

I can concentrate, I can focus, amazingly enough, but I have to freaking multi-task or my mind will explode. Everything makes me ask questions and I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE.

So tell me.

Does this sound anything like very levels of serotonin? ; Or, just racing thoughts? I dunno. Whee. Spazz. I'm not happy, just hyper, I have no energy but everything in life is in a flurry and my mind is picking up and dropping ideas like that. Life is interesting to me and I want to do so much and everything just...UGH.

Thank goodness for aspirin, that migraine was killing me, lol.

And yes, I'm seeing a nurse psychiatrist about this (on the 15th~). Her thought was OCD, because at that time, my mind was racing and I told her every single symptom I've ever had and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I think, I THINK, she was heading in the right direction. But I don't think OCD is the major problem. I think the problem is what causes OCD at times, which I admit, I may occasionally have. Randomly obsessing over things is peculiar, because at other times, it seems foolish.

Darn it. I need to shut up. Shutting up now. Sorry. Rambling.

EDIT: My mind just suddenly calmed just...a very slight amount. Man...

I want to make it clear. I'm not happy. I'm really not. I don't know what I am right now. It's not happy, not angry, not nothing, it's just a whoosh of spazz. With the constant sternum-centered angst and a desire to twitch and write a thousand words. The ache in my chest drives me mad. My mind is slowing down.

Did I mention I just ate a Chicken Pot Pie not very long ago? Maybe it's increasing my serotonin ; Me and my crazy theories. But it's a relief. I was about to lose my mind...*sighs*...yeah...pretty sure I'm depressed...but Idk...

I know, I'm not asking for a diagnosis, lol, but really, did I just have racing thoughts? Is that what that feeling is? The whoosh/spazz?

EDIT 2: Victory...my spazz has calmed down...the angst isn't as bad. Though the random pains and aches at random places on my body are annoying x3; Lol.


:: ignorance is blissful torture ::

Last edited by Anzel; January 12th 2009 at 05:38 PM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Spazz. - January 12th 2009, 06:28 PM

Do tell your therapist person that you aren't happy, you just get hyper... Ask if there is any medication that might help if you feel it might attempt to slow your thoughts some. I am here if you ever want to talk/type and I'll listen/read and answer/reply. =] stay strong = ]
   
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Re: Spazz. - January 12th 2009, 07:09 PM

Ehh...the problem is...my thoughts aren't always that fast. They've slowed to a stop now. Well, almost. I feel overwhelmed with a consuming depression right now, I am tempted to ask a mod to lock my foolish topic right now...*sighs* But I won't...

I think I ovulated yesterday, so I might be pmsing, and therefore...yeah. Idk...:/ This sucks...


:: ignorance is blissful torture ::
   
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Re: Spazz. - January 12th 2009, 09:35 PM

Have you ever looked into either ADHD or Mania? Mania is usually one end of the spectrum of bipolar disorder. Something to look into for sure.

Tell your psychiatrist exactly how you're feeling. What you're thinking with the thoughts, how they make you feel and so forth.
If she gives you a diagnosis you don't agree with, tell her why you don't agree with her, and if she doesn't listen, get a second opinion if you'd like.

When you get racing thoughts, just calm down and breath. Try and just get your mind to stop, or at least slow down. Listen to some calming music, don't watch a tv show that's going to hype you up or anything. Or listen to some fast paced music.
It sounds corny, but have you ever tried anything like yoga or meditation? Sometimes it can really help you just be calm.

Good luck!
Let me know if you need anything.
Maria.



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Re: Spazz. - January 13th 2009, 03:32 PM

Yeah...no. When I get like that, doing those things has never worked for me. Listening to calming music just gave me a migraine, breathing kind-of hurt a bit and made me lightheaded (didn't help)...yeah. I don't think it's ADHD, because I knew a kid with ADHD, and he literally couldn't concentrate. I won't forget about what I was talking about or doing, I'll just get bored and such, Idk.

Mania has many symptoms I don't get.

I'm looking more at the chemical view, since many things that have gained different names are caused by the same thing. ADHD is also possibly caused by serotonin things, I dunno. Meh.

Wish I could get a second opinion if I wanted to, but I can't. No medical insurance, denied medicare. We're getting a special deal solely because of...meh. Basically, we know a guy who knows a guy who knows her, lol.


:: ignorance is blissful torture ::
   
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Re: Spazz. - January 13th 2009, 10:47 PM

Has she been talking one on one with you? Make sure you're directly talking to her, face to face. It wasn't entirely clear if you were or not. Insurance, and America's overall health system sucks.

And let me just point out there, that your symptoms are the only symptoms I really get of mania. You don't need to have them all to have it. But, I'm not a medical professional, you really should be speaking in more detail, with the person who is thinking you're schizophrenic.
Also look up mental illnesses more before you even begin to look at what you might have, if anything. ADHD isn't only not being able to concentrate.

So yeah. Lol. Moral of the story, go talk to a professional! ^_^
Maria.



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Re: Spazz. - January 14th 2009, 03:37 PM

She said no, I have never felt mania or hypomania or mixed states. No, it's not bipolar. It's either cyclothymia or OCD, she seemed to believe. I went one-on-one with her.

I'm going to have a nervous breakdown in her office again and she'll decide I have OCD, I know it...


:: ignorance is blissful torture ::
   
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Re: Spazz. - January 15th 2009, 11:08 PM

You need to straight up tell her what you think you have.

I'm not a doctor, by any means, as I have mentioned before, but from my experience, this is not OCD. OCD is more freaking out about things being organized, clean, germ-free, a certain number of things, walking through a door a few times, tapping on something correctly and so forth. Look HERE and see if you see anything that really matches you. Highlight things that do perhaps, and show it to her. Also look HERE for basic symptoms of a manic state. See if any of those match you. Perhaps they don't, perhaps neither of them do. But then that'd be a good thing to point out to whoever you're seeing now.

I hope you get this all worked out. Remember- whatever diagnosis you're given (If any) it doesn't change who you are, it's just an unecessary label more for doctors, psychiatrists, and the like.



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Re: Spazz. - January 16th 2009, 10:44 PM

Yeah. I defiantly know how that feels. Like you totally just explained perfectly how my brain works. I was diagnosed with both ADHD and bipolar disorder. So those are some options. You should defiantly tell this doctor lady if you have any ideas of what it might be. My doctors tested for everything before they found out what it was.
   
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