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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
gloves123 Offline
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Arrow i can't do this anymore - March 14th 2014, 05:48 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have a problem, lately I've been going through these periods of time that end in me hurting myself. I don't know how to explain.

It’s like a thousand voices are screaming at me to do a thousand things I have to do.
Make invitations.
Start English project.
Read drivers handbook.
Apply for jobs.
Help your dad.
Go for a run.
Play Wii fit.
Play just dance.
Your hungry get a snack.
Your fat, don’t you dare.
You just ate, go throw up.
Go exercise.
Draw write read etc. etc.
All those voices just won’t stop yelling, and if you think doing all these things will make it stop, it won’t. If I do, the other voices will get louder, and I’ll mess up what I’m doing and another 1000 voices start yelling that I’m worthless and should give up and another 100 voices yelling at me to keep trying. This only results in a breakdown where I just ley on the floor crying. And if you think that ignoring the voices will help, it won’t. They just get louder and louder, telling me to get up off my lazy ass and do stuff. I don’t know what’s worse, doing something or ignoring them. Talking doesn’t help either, no one can understand and don’t know what to do; I can’t do that to someone. I can’t ask someone I love to try and deal with me.
So the only thing that helps is to hurt myself. That’s all that shuts up the voices. I don’t want to cut myself anymore. I want to wear shorts and dresses this summer, I want to go swimming, and I don’t want to hide under jeans and long sleeves. So I literally beat myself up. [Edited]
I don’t know what to do. If I tell someone, like my therapist, I might get sent to a mental hospital. What do I do? I don't want to do this anymore, I want to kill myself when this happens what do I do?

Last edited by PSY; March 17th 2014 at 09:28 PM. Reason: Removed graphic description of self-harm.
   
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Re: i can't do this anymore - March 14th 2014, 07:34 PM

Hey there Rashel,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through all these complications right now. I understand how hard all this must be for you to cope and deal with. Well, if what you say about everything is true (presuming that it is), and there's really no one else that you can talk to about this, have you ever thought about calling a hotline phone number? If not, you should consider doing so. There's a list of hotline phone numbers here on TeenHelp that you can call depending on where you live. These people will be more than willing to help you, and they'll keep it confidential; no one else will know about your situation other than the operator that you're talking to and yourself. Here's the link:

http://www.teenhelp.org/hotlines/

Don't let your fears get the best of you. I know that it may be hard for you to look at it that way, but always hope for the best that everything will get better. For every complication that arises, there's always a solution. It's easier said than done, but that's what needs to happen.

I wish you the very best, and take care of yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to VM/PM me at any time, and I'll be more than happy to get back to you as soon as I can.

All the best from your friendly guy,
Mark




“The main thing is realizing that even if you feel terrible for a while, that’s not how you’re going to feel the whole time. . . . Things change if you just keep moving.” - Gary Vaynerchuk
   
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Re: i can't do this anymore - March 14th 2014, 09:19 PM

I'm so sorry you're going through all this! But I completely understand! I hate it when you feel like there's voices running your life in your head, ya know? But my advice is that you don't be scared of 1.) mental hospitals but most I all don't be scared to get help from someone that loves you and cares. They care for a reason and I they truely care they'll always be there no matter what and help you with what you're goin through! You can message me anytime! Good luck!
   
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