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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Stormy Rainbow Offline
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Met with my Therapist - March 25th 2014, 07:33 PM

So I have mention in a couple of threads that I don't like my therapist and want to change to a different one. Anyways I met with her today and brought in my homework she made me so but I quit doing it after awhile. Anyways I told her that I wanted to switch therapist because this wasn't working out. She asked why and I told her because giving me homework isn't therapy it's like school. Anyways she said it's a type of therapy and asked if I don't do change and I don't think I do. she did however put me in DBT like I've been asking everyone too so I'm happy about that. She also put me back in a young adult group that is lead by someone who I do not like she annoys me to no end but my therapist said it doesn't matter if I don't like her I'm there to be social with the other people in the group.

Anyways she said she is not going to switch me and I have a feeling she is willing to work with me an how I'm used to therapy. But the problem is my mind is already made up that I don't like her so I have no clue how this is going to work out. I mean I'm glad she listen to me and didn't really give me homework and put me in DBT like I wanted. I just don't know what I feel right now or how to process this. And how to work with her because like I said my mind is already made up that I don't like her. Any thought or suggestions would be great.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Met with my Therapist - March 25th 2014, 09:09 PM

Yeah, My new therapist gives me homework. I just dont do it. But i like her.
   
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Re: Met with my Therapist - March 25th 2014, 09:25 PM

We know that therapy works better when you feel comfortable with your therapist. Having said that, I'm not going to argue with this person's professional opinion. I recently started seeing someone too and I'm able to work with him and tell him things, but I don't like him as much as I was expecting to. We just didn't click. I think about it this way: I see him because I need the help and he is providing it. He may not be 100% comfortable with him, but if I want to get better I have to do the work regardless of how well we get along. Unless you are clashing to the point that it's interfering with your ability to make progress, changing your perspective may help. Professionals have our best interests in mind, if we do what we need to do to get better then we will.


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Re: Met with my Therapist - March 26th 2014, 08:41 PM

Can I ask why you don't do the homework? Is it because it's time-consuming? Is it hard? Do you think it's dumb/pointless? Many therapists and other mental health professionals encourage their clients to complete tasks outside of scheduled sessions, because that's how we're used to learning. When you were a student, you had to do homework because it helped you practice valuable skills outside of the classroom. If you only practiced math during math class, then you would learn at a much slower rate. The same can be said with therapy - you can attend 45-50 minute sessions each week, but if you don't practice what you learn outside of those sessions, your progress may be very slow. DBT is one of those modes of therapy that frequently encourages clients to complete tasks outside of scheduled sessions... so if you like DBT but don't do the homework, what's the point?

If I recall correctly, you've complained about professionals saying you don't try hard enough. Perhaps not doing the homework is one reason why they believe you're not invested in therapy. I think discussing your reluctance to complete homework assignments would be a valuable learning/growth experience for you. Forget about whether or not this therapist is a good match for a moment - what's the point of going to therapy? To become better, emotionally and mentally. How do you accomplish that? By doing new things. If you don't want to do the homework, then at least do something new by exploring WHY you don't want to do the homework. Maybe it will help solve some of the major issues you've had with therapists in the past! =)





   
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Re: Met with my Therapist - March 27th 2014, 08:21 PM

[font="Century Gothic"][color="Magenta"][size="2"][b]
Quote:
Originally Posted by PSY View Post
Can I ask why you don't do the homework? Is it because it's time-consuming? Is it hard? Do you think it's dumb/pointless? -
I did the homework for like half a month but it pissed me off made me mood worse and made me want to cut so I stopped doing it. I would forget to track things in the callender then I would have to try and remember.And the workbook she had me doing was stupid and pointless and just pissed me off because all it had me do is read and check things off it's not like that's going to help, because when I'm in a bad mood I'm not going to go to the workbook and look at what I checked off because I don't think rationally so it was pointless. She still has me tracking shit I didn't feel like arguing with her and telling her it was stupid and pissed me off because I already told her that and she didn't give a fly fuck.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSY View Post
you can attend 45-50 minute sessions each week, but if you don't practice what you learn outside of those sessions, your progress may be very slow.
She meets with me for 15 minutes and that's it it's supposed to be an hour but it's not. It's like she doesn't care.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSY View Post
DBT is one of those modes of therapy that frequently encourages clients to complete tasks outside of scheduled sessions... so if you like DBT but don't do the homework, what's the point?
I plan on doing the homework in DBT because that is actually going to help and it's not pointless like all this other shit. If I wasn't going to do it I would have never asked to be put in it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by PSY View Post
If I recall correctly, you've complained about professionals saying you don't try hard enough. Perhaps not doing the homework is one reason why they believe you're not invested in therapy. I think discussing your reluctance to complete homework assignments would be a valuable learning/growth experience for you. Forget about whether or not this therapist is a good match for a moment - what's the point of going to therapy? To become better, emotionally and mentally. How do you accomplish that? By doing new things. If you don't want to do the homework, then at least do something new by exploring WHY you don't want to do the homework. Maybe it will help solve some of the major issues you've had with therapists in the past! =)
NO she said I didn't make any progress which was bullshit because I did make progress. She just made up a bullshit answer to get rid of me because she didn't like me. Which isn't professional at all.


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Met with my Therapist - March 28th 2014, 02:33 AM

Okay, so you hated homework because you don't think it helped and that's fine. It doesn't work for everyone and there are other ways to get results, but if you never explain that to them then it's not going to change and you're going to come across as resistant when you don't do it. The same goes for you feeling like she doesn't care. If you don't tell her that there's nothing she can do about it. There's no guarantee that she will be able to change the time, but you never know unless you bring it up.

In response to Robin's last point and your original post: You may have felt like she didn't like you and that's okay, but you can't prove that she made things up because of that. Also, just like you, therapists are human. It's okay for professionals not to like every client they see, what's important is that they are able to put their personal feelings aside and act professionally to treat every client appropriately. That may include referring them to someone else who is better equipped to handle the issues at hand.

I think Robin was simply pointing out that there seems to be a pattern of issues with several therapists and that may be something you need to explore. The good news about that is that you have some control over what you do about it in order to get what you want and need out of therapy. If all the problems you have with something are because of somebody else, then nothing is going to change because you can't change them. One person is one person, but when something keeps happening, chances are it's something else and realizing that gives you a lot of power because you can choose to change it (or not), but it gives you back control of your life.


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