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melmed Offline
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Unhappy My empty story - May 1st 2014, 02:55 AM

This is a long story that started when I was about 12. The story can however be reduced to one sentence, I feel empty.

Im that girl that went to 5 different schools in 6 years, the girl that preferred to play basketball than doing ballet, the girl that always seemed like she didn't care but deep down always did, the girl that looked like she had the perfect life but truly didn't.

I have debated joining this forum and writing my story because I'm scared, I'm scared of what others might say, but I'm mainly scared of the thoughts it may bring to my head. I used to cut myself to feel something until one day I realized tit would bring no good to me but only nasty scars that make me feel more and more self conscious.

Like I said, I feel empty, lately I feel my very few friends are getting away from me, I feel alone. My family is doing worse than ever, my dad has stared to look at me the very same way he looks at my mom, with hate distrust and disappointment.

In order to tell my whole story Id need much more courage, patience and hope, but today right at this very moment i feel nothing but emptiness. I don't know what to do, I don't know who to tell, I don't know how to feel. Im confused, lonely and lost.
   
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Re: My empty story - May 3rd 2014, 07:30 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that all of this has happened to you. I'm mostly dealing with the feelings of emptiness that you're describing, so even if you think you're alone, you are not alone at all. Feelings of emptiness are described as a symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Look that up and see if any of the other symptoms fit you. Is there someone (a friend maybe) that you could try talking to about your emptiness and loneliness? Thank you for sharing your story.
   
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