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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
......nobody Offline
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Why?!? - May 14th 2014, 07:58 PM

I'm really upset right now. My old case manager, some of you may already know about this from my other threads, hasn't been ignoring me too much lately, but she's still being distant with me.

My mental stability is starting to deteriorate because of this. I'm getting more and more violent mood swings and badly want to self harm.

I don't know if she's doing this because she thinks she's helping me by trying to break contact with me.

I sent her a text message asking her what I was to her now that she is no longer my case manager as she's still there supposedly for advice. I also asked her whether she would still be there for me after I'm healthy enough to leave the mental health system.

She still hasn't responded even though I know that she read my text since we both have iPhones. Being she is so busy though, I told her to reply when she had the time. You'd think she would have the time by now!

Should I tell her how much she is hurting me or should I just keep on going like this?
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Discontinuity Offline
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Re: Why?!? - May 19th 2014, 12:54 AM

Having looked through some of your previous threads, it appears that this relationship is very important to you, which can inflate the importance of even the smallest reaction (or lack thereof). These types of relationships can seem quite close at times, and your diction makes it sound as if you guys have reached that point (i.e. feeling distanced from her, wanting to continue a personal relationship after you leave the system). It is understandable: you share everything with them, your innermost thoughts and feelings, and they help you work through it. At the end of the day, however, it is still another professional relationship to her, and she may be feeling a bit overwhelmed by the attention and subsequent stress on her. It is not her job to help you manage your mood swings and urges once you are out of her care, despite any personal promises she may have made. If I were you, I'd try to stop and reexamine the situation. It sounds as if you are quite reliant on her to prevent you harming yourself. Using some of the skills that you learned while working with your old case manager may help you. I wouldn't suggest texting her or anything until she contacts you first - understand that she does likely have other clients who need her attention, or could be having personal struggles. Either way, waiting for a text to be your salvation out of this funk is not the way to go. Feel free to PM me if you're still struggling

ďBut some people canít tell where it hurts. They canít calm down. They canít ever stop howling.Ē
- Margaret Atwood

questions about BPD? PM me.

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Kate* Offline
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Re: Why?!? - May 19th 2014, 01:25 AM

While I understand feeling close with this person and wanting her help, I also agree with Cheyenne that, once she is no longer your case manager, she is not obligated to support you in the same ways as she was before and the relationship has changed. If you are no longer receiving services that means that you have learned coping skills and can apply them to help yourself. Mental health professionals' ultimate goal is to help clients no longer need them. I think if your relationship with her is going to continue you need to talk to her about it so that it can be renegotiated.

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"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
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