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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
wolvesfan Offline
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I think i'm going insane - May 21st 2014, 04:42 PM

As the title says i think i'm going insane, i feel like i'm deteriorating. My depression seems to be getting worse everyday. I keep hearing voices in my head, saying things like "Do it. Just, cut/kill yourself" or "I'm begging you, don't do anything" or "kill them". I always feel like people are watching/ staring at me, i can see and hear them laughing at me. I don't know what is wrong with me. This is starting to get really fucking scary, is there anything wrong with me,should i do anything?
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Re: I think i'm going insane - May 21st 2014, 10:50 PM

Hey, Matt. I hope you're feeling a bit better since you've posted this. It is possible to hear voices during a deep depression. The paranoia (always feeling as if people are looking and laughing at you) is likely also a byproduct of your depression. Have you spoken to a parent or psychologist about this? This would be a good place to start, as there is a way to get around this feeling. It will take lots of time, effort and maybe even taking the step of getting some medication, but it is doable. PM me if you need further support.

ďBut some people canít tell where it hurts. They canít calm down. They canít ever stop howling.Ē
- Margaret Atwood

questions about BPD? PM me.

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Re: I think i'm going insane - May 23rd 2014, 03:50 AM

Hi Matt,

Sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. I can imagine things can be very scary for you right now. Like Cheyenne said, I agree you should reach out to someone in your life. A family member, friend, teacher, counselor, someone you can trust with how you have been feeling. It's important to not face this kind of stuff alone and it's amazing the amount of support a single person can give when you finally take that step to open up. There's nothing "wrong" with you. It is just the way some people's minds are. However with help from a counselor or other trained professional, you can learn ways to cope with what you are dealing with. Different types of therapies teach you how to understand the way your mind works and how to combat negative recurring thoughts. Other things can help balance out the chemicals in your body which might be creating these difficulties are facing. No matter what way you deal with it, there is hope! You are not going insane. However it does seem as if your condition is getting worse. You definitely need to speak to someone before it gets out of control. It is a great thing that you notice you are feeling worse as that's important to getting better. Do your best not to let the voices and feelings get to you. It is hard but you need to fight them. Tell yourself they are not real and you do not need to listen to them. You are strong I believe in you. Feel free to send me a PM if you ever need to talk. You can beat this.

Hang in there,

Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
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Re: I think i'm going insane - August 7th 2014, 08:52 PM

I get depressed every winter- I think I'm seasonally bipolar- and while I have thoughts about torturing and killing people, I've never actually attempted murder or suicide- I just think about it a lot. I have bouts of paranoia as well. I've never heard voices, but it's actually quite common. I honestly believe that if this goes on for 2 weeks or more that you should speak to a therapist or a doctor who can prescribe medicine or try to help. I've never spoken to anyone in real life (aka not online) about depression, which is really stupid hehe. I could feel better- or make an effort to- but I don't. It doesn't make much sense. So, next time it happens, I'm going to say something. Depression is quite common, unfortunately, but it means that we have treatments and things worked out. I don't like asking for help- not one bit- but I'm still going to do it, because it will save me more pain in the long run. Hope this helped, let me know if you need anything.
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Re: I think i'm going insane - August 9th 2014, 01:50 PM

Hi Mat,

Definitely speak with someone as soon as possible. I know it is difficult to open up to people about these sort of things but getting help is worth it.
If you are not sure how to talk about this, you can print out what you posted here or you can write a note to a person you trust explaining things and that you are not sure what to do.
It is great you notice that you are not doing well and that you want to make changes so that you do not keep experiencing these thoughts.
There are quite a few resources that can help you from medication, various therapies that teach you how to challenge your negative thoughts and form more positive thoughts and even doing things you enjoy.
Hopefully you find this useful and that you are able to receive help.
Take care.

"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
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