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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Unhappy depression - August 1st 2014, 12:22 AM

It has been seince april 16 since I self harmed last, about a month ago I had my doctor put me back on antidepressants because it is easier to cope. ive been so happy the last few months since I got my new job but just since yesterday I have been in one of the worst moods I have ever been in, I dont know why? I feel like cutting, I feel like just going away again, I cant stand this back and forth thing my mind does to me. I just need to be happy.
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Re: depression - August 1st 2014, 02:08 AM

Hey there,

It is not uncommon for people who suffer from depression to fall back into it from time to time. You said that you have been doing good for quite some time so it is possible that you are just having a bad day. I would suggest that you keep an eye on it and see how long this lasts and then talk to your doctor about it. Maybe your doctor will suggest upping your anti-depressant or something like that.

I know that there are periods of time where I feel great and then I have periods of time where I feel depressed again. The most important thing is that I keep an eye on it for my doctor so that he is able to treat me to the best of his ability and prescribe me the best medicine combination.

I hope that this helped in some way and remember to keep hanging in there because it will get better. If you need anything please feel free to message me.
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Re: depression - August 2nd 2014, 03:14 PM

Hey there!

Congratulations on being self-harm free for so long. As mentioned above, it is quite normal for folks with depression and self-harm issues to relapse. I'd like to think it's all part of the recovery process. These ups and downs are definitely no fun and I think the antidepressants you've been prescribed can really help with balancing that. Bad days happen to everyone and when one negative thought enters your mind, it's so easy for every other awful memory to flood back. It's important to remember that just because you have nights like this, it doesn't mean you're taking a step back. Sometimes I have nights where I'm unable to sleep and have all these pessimistic thoughts, but sleeping on it can really be helpful. Give yourself time and maybe write down or talk to someone about what exactly you're feeling at the core. Maybe it can help you find the trigger - which is key here.

In terms of self-harm, I sure do hope that you were able to distract yourself from doing it. As I said before, relapses may happen and if they do - learn to forgive yourself and let go. You've come this far and it is a huge accomplishment, and every time you feel the urge to cut, remember that day that you last cut and how relieving it must have felt to go all these months without it. Here is a list of alternatives you could try if the urge continues to bother you. They may not be much but who knows? You may find a thing or two on the list that helps!

Best of luck. Remember that you're strong for coming this far. PM/VM me if you ever need to, I'm open to listen!
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Re: depression - August 3rd 2014, 09:46 AM

perhaps memories of a bad event are haunting you. just remember that the present day is not to be ruined by memories of the past and that things are better now. Anytime you feel sad, remember that there will always be good reasons to be happy. Anytime i feel down, i treat myself to something i like, or just a relaxing day. Works wonders.

You've already come so far. I know that you can overcome these negative feelings. If you need someone to rant out to, i'm here too!
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Re: depression - August 4th 2014, 11:10 PM

Hey, Ryan.

I have to say, it's quite an accomplishment being self-harm free since April 16. You should be proud of yourself, whether you relapse or not. Just like with any addiction, recovery's almost impossible without relapse. Same with depression, it's common for those who previously had depression to fall back into it. It's important to remember your progress and keep going.

When you feel sad moods coming on, try to write down your feelings and thoughts, what's currently going on etc. Recognizing your triggers and generally getting things out on paper could help a lot. Afterwards, do you have anything you can go to, like a hobby that you enjoy and makes you happy? Depression can take away your energy, but it helps if you try to get yourself going. Do hobbies to try and cheer yourself up or even just, like going for a walk to clear your mind.

You can beat this, just don't give up. Stay strong.
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