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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ihea Offline
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Name: Hayden
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Intense Mood Swings? - November 18th 2014, 12:14 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I frequently have intense mood swings that alternate within hours and can usually lead to me self harming or give me suicidal thoughts. Last week I was really close to attempting suicide, had everything laid out and ready, but literally an hour later I was laughing and felt wonderful and thought I was the most beautiful, wonderful person in the world.

Sometimes when I get sad I start seeing things that aren't there or I get so happy I don't even feel real anymore and I laugh at myself in the mirror because I'm not there, I'm some happy little image I'm making up. These mood swings don't also just affect my mood, but it affects how I see people too, and I frequently go between loving people and hating them in a matter of seconds. I won't hesitate to throw everything away that reminds me of them. I've done it many times before.

I usually bit or scratch myself. I've been having this urge for weeks now to slit my wrists open, but my house is so small and I'm afraid of my parents. They won't take me to get help or anything, and if I tried cutting myself they'd catch me and when I'd get back from the hospital I have no doubt they would punish me and call me names, maybe even get physical in the way I don't like. It's the only thing preventing me from doing anything, but now that's wearing off and I want to go in front of my mom and slash my wrists and laugh at her, and I don't care what will happen to me.

I don't really have any friends and the only person I'm seeing is a school psychologist. I don't know how to bring this up to him because all he ever seems to focus on are anxiety issues (which I firmly believe are nonexistent) and the fact that I'm transgender. Is this normal for teens, or should I be concerned? I get suicidal at the weirdest moments. What do I do?
   
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Re: Intense Mood Swings? - November 18th 2014, 09:40 PM

Hi Hayden,

I know what you mean by these severe mood swings. I get them a lot too. One minute, I'm an anxious nervous freak, the next I'm happy and laughing and then a couple hours later I get super depressed and suicidal. I feel like I have to hide my true colors from my parents because they don't understand why I self harm or want suicide although I haven't told them about my suicidal thoughts. I make plans up in my mind too about killing myself.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you aren't the only one. I also, struggle with this. You aren't alone. I'm here for you if you need to vent to someone.

Keep breathing. We are here for a purpose.

~Amanda


'I have this strange feeling that I'm not myself anymore...'
   
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Re: Intense Mood Swings? - November 19th 2014, 12:12 PM

Hi Hayden,

I donít have mood swings like that, but it is normal for teenagers to have some weird mood swings, due to hormonal balances. That said, yours sound a bit different to this, due to the fact that you get suicidal.

Itís good that you are seeing your school psychologist. I think you should definitely try to bring up these mood swings the next time you see him. If you find it difficult to talk about, you could write him a note and give it to him. Donít be afraid to tell him; he may focus on anxiety a lot, but Iím sure if you told him about the mood swings he can help you with those rather than the anxiety, if you feel the anxiety doesnít bother you much. If not, you may find it helpful to go to a doctor, who will be able to assist you find someone who can help you better.

You may also find it helpful to check out our alternatives to self-harm and our hotlines for if you feel suicidal in the future.

Take care


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