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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
DomoKay Offline
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The BPD Diagnosis - December 24th 2014, 05:56 PM

Recently I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (https://www.bpdcentral.com/borderlin...lmarks-of-bpd/ ). I agree with the fitting criteria, but am still unsure if I want to just fall into this category. It is a life-changing diagnosis that I am not sure that fits me... I'm not sure if i actually disagree, or just hate the stigma and label all together. I feel like a crazy person. I haven't really told anyone besides my boyfriend who doesn't really know what it is. He is doing a lot, but I can't imagine how exhausting I am for him. Sometimes he says things that just push my buttons, not purposely though. I know if he was more educated, our communication would be better. I just started seeing a DBT counselor and attending the weekly education group. It is a bit overwhelming and intense, and I'm not sure I'll make it through the program at this rate.

What helped you most after your diagnosis? Did you tell your loved ones? What was most helpful?
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Thereishope Offline
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Re: The BPD Diagnosis - December 25th 2014, 05:14 AM

I was diagnosed with it many years ago. I didn't get much support from my family because they all thought that everything that was going on was misinterpreted or "all in my head". As for my friends, they understood about the mood swings, etc and learned to help me through them. Mostly by not over reacting to them and staying there through them.

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Solivagant Offline
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Re: The BPD Diagnosis - December 25th 2014, 04:17 PM

Hey there,

I got the same diagnosis some two years ago. I wasn't informed about it initially because my therapist felt that that was the right thing to do. I read about it in my mum's texts and on my prescription some one year after the diagnosis. It was honestly life changing for me. Do remember that what I am describing here is a very subjective experience. I spent years with the "emptiness" and there wasn't a single soul who had ever heard that word from my mouth. The diagnosis was like closure for me, it validated my feelings and it meant that what I had been feeling was real and not something that I was making up.

Reading up on it helped me to understand my own self, to be able to put my feelings into words (which is something I truly struggle with till date) and to recognize certain emotions. It basically helped me to be more aware about myself.

But I have to warn you here, and this is something that every single mental health professional that I have spoken to has said- Be careful while "labeling" yourself. This one doctor once said to me, that it is better to call yourself a "sufferer" of BPD rather than saying that "I am a borderline personality". That way you aren't labeling yourself. There is more to you than a disorder. Does that make sense to you?

I haven't really told people about this. Only my parents and brother know. I guess, sometimes I just need to let them know that this is what is happening with me. They need to know how my emotions are working in order to understand my responses. I also tell them that I am in therapy and am working on it. Educating them about it is tiresome, especially when I am in the middle of a "breakdown". So it is something that I usually do beforehand. Although we do need to make sure that we don't start using the diagnosis as an excuse.

If you feel that your program is becoming too overwhelming for you, I'll suggest that you discuss it with your counsellor. Talking about it could help bring some improvement or it can be that the program is just not for you at this stage. Either way, talk about it.

As for how you feel about this, take your time. I've known about this for over a year and I am still figuring out what it means for me. Don't feel the need to figure out everything in a few hours. You can have your time. Try not to be hard on yourself, relax.

I hope that this helps some. Please feel free to message me if you'd like to talk about anything.

Take care.

"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Stormy Rainbow Offline
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Re: The BPD Diagnosis - December 25th 2014, 10:20 PM

It''s not life change at all. I'm diagnosed with it and have been for 3 years. they suspected I had it at 15 but you can not be officially diagnosed with it until you are 18. So if you aren't 18 or over I say don't even worry about it. DBT is great and helps a lot, There is nothing wrong with this diagnoses it effects somethings like relationships and stuff but most f all it's just a personality disorder.

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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Philomath Offline
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Re: The BPD Diagnosis - December 26th 2014, 10:52 AM

Hi There,

I do not have BPD however I believe that it should be treated as something you will adjust to. You do not have to tell people you do not want knowing. Only those that care about you and will be supportive of you can know if that is what you choose.
It can be challenging to start a new form of therapy or program such as a DBT group. Is it possible for you to talk to your therapist and see about maybe continuing with individual therapy for now and then adding in the group later? It is perfectly fine to not be ready to be in the group yet. It could help you to talk about your confusion, uncertainty and worries associated with having this diagnosis.
Remember to not make it a label. I really agree with Suv that you should o your best to tell yourself that you are a suffer instead of that you are your diagnosis. Because in reality that is true, diagnosis help with treatment options and also so insurance will fund treatment but in all honesty, they are not you and people can manage their conditions fairly well with the appropriate treatment, determination and supports. If you find that talking to your therapist would be challenging, it could not hurt to email or write them a note explaining things.
You could also find it helpful to research BPD and print out any pamphlets or information you find to share with your family as a way to help them understand. Also scheduling an appointment with your therapist, you and your family to meet could be very useful so that they can ask the therapist questions, for clarifications and suggestions about how they can be helpful.
I know that this will be difficult but I believe you can find solutions for this situations if you communicate with the right people.
Take care and you can PM me if you would like a person to talk to.

"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
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borderline, bpd, dbt, diagnosis, disorder, personality

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