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darksoulx Offline
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How to recover from OCD? - February 5th 2015, 10:04 PM

I have OCD. It's not officially diagnosed but I checked over 100 signs online and I didn't find one that I can't relate to. I'm 13. My OCD is really bad. The worst of all is the intrusive thoughts. I always imagine things that make me so sad and mad at myself for thinking that way. I imagine myself ripping off pages of my favorite book. Or breaking my guitar. Or cutting my very long hair which I really love.Or stabbing someone. Or killing someone. And that makes me think I'm a terrible person. I also read about Contamination and I can really relate to everything-- especially the germs part since I'm germophobic. I have to keep everything in its place and everything should be clean. I read messages over and over before sending and revise words before I say them.
When I touch something, it doesn't feel right that I have to touch it again. And again. And again. When somebody tells me something and I reply, it just doesn't feel right so I have to repeat what I said again. And again. And again. When I'm thirsty, I'd want to take one sip of water. But it doesn't feel right so I'd end up drinking the whole bottle. Nothing feels right. I'm always afraid and I feel like something bad is going to happen. This thoughts are eating me alive.
I'm also always afraid to do something that might harm me or harm others. That's why I'm really afraid of knives. I'm afraid I might accidentally cut myself or stab someone. I'm also afraid of fire and candles because of the same reason. It can harm me or others.

I can't contact a therapist or anyone at school or a family member. But I think I need help. And I also think I have anxiety and depression-- according to the signs I can relate to. I think talking to an online therapist can work for me. Or someone who can give me tips or help. Does anybody out there know how I can beat OCD?

Don't get too close, it's dark inside. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.

Last edited by darksoulx; February 6th 2015 at 12:00 PM.
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Riddikulus Offline
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Re: How to recover from OCD? - February 12th 2015, 10:46 AM

Hey there,

It sounds like you're in a very difficult situation at the moment and I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is generally a lifetime disorder and while it can be managed and become a lot easier to control, I don't feel that it can be 'cured' for want of a better word.

OCD is a vicious cycle of obsession, anxiety and your response/reaction to this anxiety and fear. This cycle is kept going by this fear and your attempt to avoid whatever is causing the anxiety or in your case, something not feeling right. Therefore every time something doesn't feel right and you engage in the activity that you do for it to 'feel right' you are reinforcing the idea that the behaviour you're engaging in help you escape the harm/minimise right of what you thought would happen. This eventually will increase your anxiety as it gives into the obsession and resulting in the obsession getting worse and that's how you get the cycle.

A lot of the symptoms you are describing can be linked to OCD, but in order to be sure you would need to talk to your doctor. I know it sounds difficult and can seem quite scary but in the long run they can offer you the help and support that you need. OCD is usually treated with CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and Medication, both of which have to be referred to/prescribed by a doctor or other medical professional. CBT is all about breaking that cycle, overcoming the fears and facing them without that reaction that behaviour that you previously felt the need to engage in.

In the mean time I would suggest taking a look at some of the areas of the site that you may find useful. HelpLink, LiveHelp and the Chatroom are all places that you can find help and support.

If you have any questions or want/need to talk, feel free to PM me,

Take care

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