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kidamnesiac Offline
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Failure to control emotions in certain situations - February 3rd 2016, 10:49 PM

Hi guys, I'm needing a bit of advice with something. Don't worry - this isn't a regular thing but it's a long term problem of mine that I've struggled with since I was a child. I'm 17 y/o, live in UK and have autism if that's worth pointing out.

Basically, there are certain situations where I get so angry that I just can't control myself and I just seem to do what's on the spur of my mind. Today is two days before I was meant to have my driving test, but I just lost my temper during practice with my mother. In my anger, I was shouting and swearing constantly and I ended up destroying my provisional licence the minute I got in the house and continued shouting and being angry for a good while and it took me a few hours to calm down - and it was only then that I realised I'd screwed up, my driving test has been postponed and worse yet lost 82 because I acted like a lunatic. These situations don't occur frequently (only once or twice a year at the very most), but it's been an ongoing problem for years. I simply have no control over my emotions whatsoever in these situations. I'm wondering if it's do to with my autism perhaps? Not sure.

I'm not depressed or anything - in general I would say I try my best to be optimistic and happy about life. I hugely appreciate the things I have and the good times - whether it's my family, or the fact that I'm lucky enough not to be living in extreme poverty, I am highly grateful and appreciative and I do not focus on the negatives or take too many things for granted.

I simply have no idea how I could amend this in future though. Every time this has happened I've sworn down that I won't let the problem persist, but I can't control it. I don't think of the consequences, I just do it. I need to stop - if this continues, I will end up trashing my family relationships and getting kicked out the house. I would HATE for that to happen, because I do not mean any harm and I always want to help out with the family whenever possible. Also, I have always failed in social situations outside the family and voluntarily pulled myself out of them because I simply despise them. If I do these things in public, worst-case scenario is I'll get thrown in jail. Any help would be great thanks, I just know that if this problem continues into adulthood, things will be totally screwed up for me and my family.

If any of you can decipher this problem, find solutions or both, I will be eternally grateful. Thanks very much. Feel free to ask any further questions if you're confused by something and I'll try my best to give advice to other people on this forum in the future.
   
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LifeTheRonWay Offline
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Re: Failure to control emotions in certain situations - February 4th 2016, 05:36 PM

Hey there,
Firstly welcome to TeenHelp. Glad you decided to register looking for some input.
If you need any help finding your way around the site be sure and let us know.
Hope you stick around awhile, to at least see my reply.

I am unsure if it could be related autism but I did want to say
I think the moment you tell yourself you can't do something any attempt to correct/fix/get better is compromised by your state of mind. If you tell yourself you can't do something, chances are you will never be able to.
If you want to change I think it's important to tell yourself you can, and work towards resolving it from there.

I can relate to what you're saying some, I had severe anger problems when I was younger, though they were more frequent. I was never physically involved with a person, but I was very destructive with my personal belongings. After I punched my bedroom window out I figured it was about time to get some help.
I still get angry sometimes - but nothing like I once was like. I learned a couple things I still carry with me day to day.

The first one is to slow down, with whatever you're doing.
Eat/read/text/cook/speak/listen/walk/drive/etc..
Train your mind to respond slower and you will feel more in control.
The second is not to feed anger.
I always thought that punching my pillow or screaming at the walls was helping me get the anger out of me but I realized that I was only helping it grow.
Only understanding and compassion can neutralize anger.

The Buddha said "Anger against one, is anger against all. Anger against all, is anger against myself. "

- Ron


Revenge is a poison meant for others that we end up swallowing ourselves.
Vengeance is a dark light that blinds all who seek it.
The untroubled soul knows there is no justice in revenge.
The untroubled soul knows that to seek vengeance, is to seek destruction.
   
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kidamnesiac Offline
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Re: Failure to control emotions in certain situations - February 5th 2016, 04:42 PM

Okay, thanks. I'll try to take your advice on board.
   
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