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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
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Name: Katie
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 4,637
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Update - July 14th 2017, 09:09 AM

I'm sticking this here since I don't know where else to put it, but the only common thread is that it all affects my mental health. Feel free to move

Good news: I FINALLY started medication and the difference is huge I go from a half dose to full dose tomorrow, so I'm expecting side effects again and there's a chance it's aggravating one of my other conditions, so I might have to switch, but the symptoms from that have gone away so I'm hoping both conditions are stable and I can stay on it. And, after waiting 2 months, I finally see my new therapist on Sunday, and she'd better be good because that was a long wait.

Bad news: Almost everything in this house has broken. From January to now, there were issues with Mom's final house payment that took months to fix, then that same week the furnace broke, now our AC has been out for over a month after the fix didn't work, the toilet's been fixed 3 times and has stayed only partially fixed for over a year, we had to replace the plumbing in the shower after they fixed it once, a tree fell on part of our house, Mom was in a (minor) car accident and had to pay to fix the car, there was water in the basement last week for no reason, and now the dryer is broken! So, I get to babysit the busted dryer so I can do laundry tomorrow. They're coming Tuesday to replace the AC and furnace, and Thursday to replace the dryer. This all costs a fortune and of course we don't really have it. Mom was hoping to have a little extra money now that the mortgage is paid off, but obviously that didn't happen.

Speaking of money vocational rehab is a total waste. I expected as much which is part of why I put it off for so long. It's obvious that they're used to working with people a lot more disabled than I am and they aren't doing anything for me that I couldn't do for myself. Except now I have this random woman and the state breathing down my neck to get a job. I'm considering having my case closed, but we just started and it will look like I'm backing out once the work starts, when in reality it's because it's pointless. I know I can technically probably quit anytime I want, but I feel like I'm stuck seeing this through since the state is paying for it.

And, really bad timing, my first therapist left, the therapist she referred me to was horrible after waiting a month, after waiting over 3 months for an appointment, the psychiatrist she referred me to is leaving in September, and my VR counselor just left her job too. I finally decide to start rebuilding my life and all my professionals left!

Grandma is still a perpetual victim who has only stopped driving me crazy because I avoid her as much as possible, but we have a special trip planned for Mom's birthday next week since everyone else takes vacations whenever they want and she gets stuck dealing with grandma against her will because they all take off and assume she'll do it without asking.

And I haven't talked to my dad since Easter, still not looking forward to him coming. At this point I know pleasing him is impossible, it's just hard to deal with when he's in my space and won't leave me alone. Maybe if this therapist is good and stays at her job more than 2 months after I start seeing her, we can deal with that before he gets here next year.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Update - July 27th 2017, 07:08 PM

Sorry for the late reply!

Iím glad that you have started medication and have noticed the difference. How are you coping with going from half a dose to full dose? Also, how did the meeting with the therapist go?

Iím really sorry to hear that things in your house just seem to have a habit of breaking at really awkward times. I do know how frustrating it is, and how much it can affect your mental health, when these things just cause unnecessary stress. Especially when money is tight. I hope you were able to get everything fixed!

It sounds like there is a mismatch between you and the vocational rehab, especially if you feel that they tend to help people who are more disabled than you. Is it worth continuing attending the rehab? It may help to stick it out, more so if you need to prove that you are being productive and not backing out at the start. At the same time, if you feel you arenít benefitting at all, then it makes sense to continue job searching and drop out if itís not worth your time.

Iím sorry to hear that professionals are leaving when you are trying to rebuild your life. It must make things feel rather disjointed for you to not have the stability with professionals coming and going. I hope that your new therapist works (and stays!) with you.

I hope the special trip for your momís birthday went well! Itís hard when certain family members are difficult to deal with, but it is good to limit contact with your grandma if she affects you in a negative way. We can help and improve ourselves a lot, but we canít change other people, and in these cases, itís mostly trying to limit contact and set boundaries. Hope your mom is able to have some time to relax and enjoy herself too!

Iím guessing the same can be said for your dad too. Itís good that you have realised that you canít please him, and this may help you to have more realistic expectations about him and his relationship with you, which can help minimise conflict. Though I understand itís not that simple, but I really hope that your new therapist is able to work with you on this as well.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
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Name: Katie
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Re: Update - July 27th 2017, 10:21 PM

We have air conditioning and a working dryer. The dryer ended up completely dying, so instead of babysitting it, we had to hang everything and wait days for it to dry.

I only had a few side effects after switching to the full dose and they only lasted a few days. Mom's birthday trip was exhausting, but definitely worth it, 3 hours of driving each way, some of it through torrential downpour. I don't know if we'd do it again though. Of course grandma picked that day to fall and other people had to take care of it. She's fine, refused the hospital, but I think they understood why we went and didn't try to throw it back in her face. My new therapist is awesome, except I have to wait a month to see her and she said she was going to talk to the receptionists about me having to wait 2 months the first time. I think they thought I was new to the practice rather than transferring therapists and that's why.

VR went better today and they basically confirmed that my grad program ruined my life for no reason, but I still feel like it's a waste of time. I think it only lasts until January, which isn't too bad. I think I needed therapy more than VR, but at least I'm getting that now too.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
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