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Wishes Offline
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Sad - July 31st 2017, 11:04 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I feel awful. I am on summer break now and have been for 5 weeks already. I thought that a break from school would be nice, so I didn't have to be so worried about how I look or when I will be called ugly next.
But I was wrong because it happens at home. Whenever my mum gets angry at me (mostly for no actual reason) and calls me names and stuff.
The other day we were at the bus stop, and one of her old friends walked past. I don't think she likes her that much now because she said "oh look, she's ugly like you!" which wasn't nice to hear. She calls me many names and makes me hate myself even more than I already do.
I haven't cut since March, but I am so tempted, but I don't want my parents to find out again. Instead I hit my head into walls and punch myself. I hate this. I just want to be happy.
I also keep thinking about that boy I like and how he told me to fuck off, and I feel that he said that mostly because I am very ugly and not good enough. He doesn't want such an ugly thing to like him.
I don't know what to do.


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Re: Sad - August 1st 2017, 02:04 PM

Dear Wishes,

I'm not very happy with all the people in your life being so hostile against you. People who are like this typically only feed off of your own energy though; if they find that you have poor self-confidence and view yourself as ugly then they'll typically use that as an insult just to be more spiteful.

So, the chances are, you're not ugly. - but your perceptions of yourself are being perceived by others.

Please don't cut and try to breathe more. You should surround yourself with people who
Won't do these kinds of things and actively avoid everyone else.

And with that boy, I'm skeptical what context he said "fuck off" in, did he say it jokingly, playing around or did he say it seriously if you did something to annoy him? I Doubt it was at all because you were ugly and/or not good enough.

I'd like to tell you to work on self-confidence but in reality that only works if theres people around you willing to support that - If theres people around you who are going to chop down any confidence-boosting tree you grow, then there's no point really. You need firstly to eliminate the people who make you feel ugly, then, better yourself. Not necessarily your appearance, but rather, your perception of yourself.

Try to take care
   
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Re: Sad - August 2nd 2017, 07:29 AM

Wow your poor mom must be suffering. (Depression often runs in the family, like it's a biological gene thing that gets passed on to the next generation.)

Sorry she takes it out on you. That obviously isn't helpful for either of you.

Cutting definitely a clear sign of clinical depression which is a medical issue. Need to get that treated by a doctor. Then you'll feel better when you find some medication that works for you. Took me a long time trying different medications, but I finally found the one that works for me, and it was a game changer, and now I don't suffer anymore. I'm fine.

Any good doctor will understand it's a medical issue. Psychiatrist specialize in this field. Regular doctors should be trained to recognize these symptoms and either start treating them and/or refer you to a psychiatrist doctor. Either way, try different medications until you find the one that works for you, then you'll feel much better and be fine (which was quite a new experience for me, since I'd never felt fine before).
   
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