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bluryface Offline
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Psychological breakdown - October 22nd 2017, 02:37 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

( my English is not good but i'll do my best )
Hi.. please someone help me cause my life is almost completely ruined .
I was one of those hardworking young people who have big dreams and passion of learning . It was my last year in high school but unfortunatly .. i had *Chronic fatigue syndrome * and that's was a big challenge that's why i ended up with average grades so i couldn't apply for a full scholarship (you know what i mean i'm not rich ) . Anyway universities in my country are very expensive that's why i had to study online at home in a cheap college and this is a big problem because i'm already a introvert person and feeling depressed . i have no friends ..i don't feel comfortable talking with my parents cause they don't love me they treat me like a stranger .and my family consider me a failure and mock of my dreams .also i think i have Autism . i think life sucks and the only solution is to suicide .99% of my time sitting alone and crying

Last edited by bluryface; October 22nd 2017 at 03:32 PM.
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del677 Offline
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Re: Psychological breakdown - October 23rd 2017, 07:31 AM

Wow autism I was thinking that as a possibility and then at the end of your post you mentioned it. I have that too, or Asperger's. The introversion and Asperger's seems to go along with being exceptionally smart.

My belief is a college degree isn't completely necessary. What a company really wants to know is, can you do the job? Do you have the knowledge and skill? If you are smart, then you will naturally acquire skills, with or without college, and eventually some company is going to notice and want to hire you. Especially since, college is so expensive, there's a shortage of college educated people, and a need for smart people, and there are smart people who can't go to college, but end up being very smart anyway, and companies are looking for these people.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, now that's a big hurdle. The one person I heard of who had that never recovered from it. It would be nice if it's actually just depression, which is also very common among people with Asperger's. I have it, or had it, quite severely. Fortunately it was treatable. Unfortunately it took a very long time. Fortunately I'm still here and well now, and I have a job, and I'm actually earning a decent amount of money now.

OK my recommend is, check out http://www.keirsey.com and check out "The Four Temperaments" and see which one you identify with. (I identify with the rare "Rational" personality type, the "Knowledge Seeker", so I am forever seeking knowledge, whether or not in college. In fact, most of what I've learned I've learned after college, on my own. Since you said you have a passion for learning, if you are a "Knowledge Seeker", then you are destined to endlessly seek knowledge, and you will become very knowledgeable no matter what. College is a fun way of getting there, but it's not necessary. Some people learn it on the job.)

Also, read a few books on Asperger's Syndrome and see if you identify with any of it. I was told, and I initially disagreed, but I read some books, and said I do identify with about half of what's described in the books, so maybe I do have a touch of it.

(Now I work at a high tech company, and pretty much half of everyone there I think also has a touch of Asperger's or Autism. Really smart people are just that way.)

Oh, it would really help if there was a support group where people with Asperger's could meet together, or a depression support group, or any group where people who have something in common meet. (It works great for alcoholics. I envy them as they have AA meetings all over the world.)

Possibly being the Asperger's Autistic Introverted person is the hardest part. For me the academic stuff was easy to learn. Understanding why people talk about the weather was the hard part! Learning to make "small talk." Chit-Chat. What other people do with ease.

Another thing that I think helped me a lot was learning Meditation. (or Mindfulness.)

(By the way I've met Temple Grandin twice. She's the famous autistic lady. Imagine being famous for being autistic. She's also brilliant, ended up being a professor at a university.)

Oh and another thing they taught me was "Body Language". Apparently I was unaware of it. I think other people just have a natural "feeling" looking at someone else and pick up on this stuff intuitively I'm told, whereas I don't, so I have to figure it out the hard way, by observing and thinking about it, and interpreting what I'm seeing. It also made me more aware of my own body language, what I was saying to other people with my body language.

Maybe watch that movie on Temple Grandin. It's called, "The Temple Grandin movie."

(By the way your English is quite good. Excellent actually. I keep forgetting you said English isn't your first language. That's really good! You must be very smart!)

[Sorry my thoughts jump around.]
Learning about the 4 personality types gave me a better view of other people, helped me understand them much better. Also, it may help you understand your parents, who probably have different personality types than you, and that usually leads to miscommunication and misunderstandings. They may want you to be a younger version of themselves, and do whatever it is they like doing, or achieve however they measure achievement, but you may have a completely different personality type, which measures success and achievement by measuring something completely different.

e.g. an Artisan focuses on their "Performance." They want to be good performers.

A "Rational" focuses on being "competent". They want to be knowledgeable.

A "Guardian" wants to be "Dependable".

An "Idealist" wants to be "benevolent", and they seek to become "authentic". (Something which doesn't make any sense to the other personality types. How can I possibly be anything other than who I am? But for the Idealist, being "authentic" is a life long endeavor. They see themselves as always emerging, growing, becoming, so they're never sure who they really are. (That's not quite correct.)

Anyway, this 4 different personality types thing might help you deal with your parents and family seeing you as different; possibly because you are different, but it's a good thing, as you're just one of the other personality types, and you have your own path and destiny, which they don't see.

(I've thought of suicide many times in my life. I've learned it's always a passing thing that will go away in a few days. Then it comes back. Then it goes away again. Eventually I'm not sure which world view is correct. Because I keep oscillating between both of them. The world is a great place, or the world is a horrible place. My world keeps changing so fast, back and forth, I'm starting to think the world can't possibly change this fast, it really must be me changing.)

Someone told me, "It may be real, but that doesn't mean it's true."

Oh, also, finding some sort of spiritual or religious path can help. Why are we here? What's the purpose? What's the point? The questions themselves may not be correct if they have no answer. They may be the wrong ones to ask. I've never figured it out totally. The answer may be in the seeking of the answer.

Oh, there's also a movie titled, "Mozart the Whale" which is about autism.

Oh, and if you get discouraged, there are books listing numerous very famous highly successful people as having autism or Asperger's. That can be an inspiration, if you need inspiration.

Oh also the TV show "Monk" about the police detective with Asperger's.

Books on Body Language, books on Flirting, books on... I'm still looking for a book on How to have friends, or How to have fun. (Silly of me to think the answer to everything can be found in a book?)

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Re: Psychological breakdown - October 24th 2017, 09:04 AM

That was helpful Thank you so much ! .. i didn't expect someone to write and give that much information .. and by the way i forgot say something about autism , some children are being born with it but i didn't had it when i was younger.. it has just developed through years . and i think it's harder to fix it now cause i'm grown up now which means i'll face more stress more Life pressures unlike the life of a child !
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