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Unhappy Will I be okay? - December 23rd 2017, 04:07 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

[SIZE="a"]I'm not sure if this is triggering or not but I've added the prefix just in case, there's going to be some talk about medical stuff so I just thought that if you have any phobias it might trigger anxiety attacks.

So, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and clinical depression. I have a few different phobias too, two are diagnosed and one should be diagnosed but it hasn't been yet. I've been taking medication for these disorders, however, my psychiatrist and GP wanted me to go off that medication (20mg) and start a new one (75mg). They're supposed to be for anxiety and depression, primarily depression I think. I had been on 10mg last week and this week I've had nothing, as per the request of my GP. I have not taken my new meds yet, this is like a transitional phase.

My first problem is I am usually a little squeamish but it's nothing too bad. When I was on my meds I was basically a normal person. But recently, I've been really sick thinking about anything. I'm really hoping that it's just because I'm not on my medication and that I'll feel better once I start them again. I want to be a social worker with hospital patients but I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to. I've also just been sick in general, with dizziness and nausea so I'm hoping that's just adding to this. I mean, I actually threw up recently because someone was talking about a blood test (when I was on 10mg, I think). Recently, if anyone has been talking about stuff like blood tests or even like period cramps or hypoglycaemia, I feel like crying. I was watching the movie Orphan last night and a woman was giving birth in the first scene and I just felt like I was going to pass out. And I've seen that movie before. I've seen real childbirth videos. Recently, I can't even look at IVs or think about things being inserted into the body. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm never like this? And it's not like I'll have to do anything medical at the hospital but I'll be exposed to it for sure.

Not only that but there will come a time where I'll need a surgery or a blood test, what am I going to do when I'm so shaken up just from the idea? I don't know what to do, I've actually just been feeling sick from feeling my pulse or even just thinking about blood and organs. I don't even want to live because how can I live when I can't deal with my very own anatomy? I almost threw up again yesterday but nothing came out, thankfully. And I do want my own kids, what am I supposed to do? I'm not like this usually, I don't think I am. I can't even remember how I used to be, my memory is all over the place. But I don't remember ever feeling this bad. I've performed dissections on animals in biology class before, I mean I don't eat meat a lot anymore because I think about the raw flesh and organs a lot but I think that's different. I think there's a difference between not wanting to eat flesh and being squeamish in general. But now I can't even think about anything like that. Recently, I've even been feeling weird about my own body. I don't know if it's body dysmorphia or what, I am a tomboy and very butch but since I've gone off my meds I've felt really disgusted by my female parts. I've been proud of being a woman and I'm not usually ashamed like this but I feel weird about my uterus and breasts, they just feel wrong.

Will I be okay? When I start my new meds, will I feel better? I'm just worried that I've been changed forever and I won't be able to be normal again. I only want one job in the world and I want my own kids, I won't be able to do that if I'm like this. Plus, I will need medical treatment at some point or another, everyone does. I'm so scared, is it normal to be hyper sensitive like this when you've gone off medication?[/size]
   
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Re: Will I be okay? - December 24th 2017, 10:48 PM

Hey there,

If the new medications end up working for you than they could help with these things. However, it's likely that you will also need to look into therapy of some kind to help you cope with things a bit more. Medication can help but it is not a cure, per se. It can alleviate the symptoms which can help the person get to a better place while learning to cope with these thoughts in therapy.

It might be a good idea to talk with your GP about referring you to a counselor who deals with anxiety and all of that. It might take you a while to find a therapist that you click with but once you do it can be a great benefit to you learning to cope with these thoughts.

If you currently have a therapist than it might be worth bringing this up with them and asking them if they can help you work through this.

Best regards.


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