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Unhappy Just feel like my life has no meaning or energy... - January 9th 2018, 12:13 AM

Hi all,

First of all I apologise if this is in the wrong place. I wasn't really sure which forum was most appropriate.

I'm not really sure how to start this but I suppose the title sums it up well. I guess I just feel like my life isn't going anywhere. There's just no excitement and it feels as though nothing interesting ever happens in my life. I just go about my daily business and do the same thing over and over again.

Don't get me wrong, my life is alright. I'm currently studying linguistics at university, which I generally enjoy. Im starting a new job as part of an outreach programme for disadvantaged young people very soon as an academic mentor and pastoral care provider. I have a long term partner who I love and am happy with. I have a lovely family and whilst I don't have tonnes of friends, I have a decent bunch of people around me and they're all really great. I'm not desperately unhappy. But I'm just not really satisfied with my life either.

I love to write but no matter how hard I try no-one seems interested in what I put on paper. I also like music and I'd love to learn an instrument but I just don't have the patience with it. I really want to be a performer but I just don't feel like it'll ever happen because no matter how hard I try noone seems to notice or take any interest in me. I just feel like such a boring, useless person. I don't feel like I'll ever get anywhere or do anything or be anything special.

I know I have a lot to be thankful for and that perhaps I just need to focus on the positives more. I guess I just want something more from life but I don't really know what that is. I feel lost and stuck and bored.

Thanks in advance.
   
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Celyn Offline
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Re: Just feel like my life has no meaning or energy... - January 10th 2018, 02:48 PM

Even though you may be studying something you enjoy, have a good partner and family, it doesn't mean that you are immune from feeling bored/with no purpose/unhappy and it also doesn't mean that you can't or have no reason to feel this way. Feelings just happen, with or without a reason.

It also seems that you have other interests that you'd like to pursue but feel put off from the lack of interest by others. Maybe, rather than you being a boring person, others just don't have interest in the arts? If you want to take up writing, don't let what other people think put you off, and instead do it because you enjoy it. If you want to get feedback or have a space to share what you do, you could look for online communities or groups in your university. When I was at university, we had 'open mic' nights which were designed for students to share their writing, music, art and general thoughts and comments. Maybe you could find something similar at your university or in your community?

Learning to play an instrument can take a while, but even if you don't have much patience, you could try being persistent and sticking with it. Rather than expecting to pick up something straight away or have unrealistic targets, you could just learn to go with it and record any improvements so that you can see how over time, you have progressed. Maybe do a bit of research and see what instruments might be easier to learn, if you are still unsure about how much patience you have.

It is good to look at the positives in your life and what you are grateful for. But that doesn't mean you can't reach out for more (within reason, as we can focus on trying to get more out of life that the more we do, the less focus we have on the little things that make us happy, which can then make us feel unhappy- always striving for more).

It seems like perhaps you are looking for some recognition and perhaps to do something that gives you this or gives you a sense of purpose. I think your job, helping disadvantaged young people as a mentor, may help with this a bit. It can put things into perspective and make you feel good knowing that you've helped others.

While it can definitely be reassuring to have recognition from others, there's nothing wrong with recognising when you've done well in something, even if others might not see it. And lastly, regardless of what you do or don't do, believe in yourself and that you are a good and interesting person, just as you are


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