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In love with a cartoon/ video game character - April 5th 2018, 11:55 PM

I apologize in advance if I am posting this in the wrong section. I just joined and this is my first time on a forum.

It started a very long time ago when I was 6 I started to play a certain game and thought this one character was sooo cute. Then when I was 8 I watched a show based off that game and my fondness for the character grew a lot stronger and I had a crush on him, also this character is an anthropomorphic animal. Over the years I have come to own as many of the games as possible which I still play and replay often. I watch the episodes of the shows on youtube daily, especially the ones that feature said character. I have merchandise of this character including more then one plush doll that I sleep with at least one every nignt. I am not and never have been sexually attracted to this character which is good because that would be especially weird now that I am an adult and this character is a child. Sometimes I feel like its a motherly or protective love for this character but other times it feels like more than that and I am confused. What I know for sure is that I love him in some weird way and it is an obsession. I wish he could be real, I want to be able to comfort him when hes sad and protect him and give him crazy aunt-like hugs and kisses and cuddles. I look at fanart pictures of him and read fanfictions about him. I write my own fanfictions that I dont post online. This has been going on for more than half my life. I used to think I would outgrow it but now I know thats not going to happen. I have been ok with my obsession, it hasnt stopped me from doing other things so far. But now I am getting married and moving in with my soon to be husband. He knows that I have a fondness for this character but he doesnt know exactly how much. I dont know how to tell him but I think he should know about it before we get married and live together. I also wanted others opinions, is this an unhealthy obsession? Is it unhealthy for my relationship to have this obsession? Is it normal for someone to be this in love with a fictional character for this long? Are there any ways to become at least a little less obsessed? I have come here for advice and suggestions as a last resort as reading similar things on other forums and googling hasnt helped me find any answers so far. Anyone else here love a fictional character? It would be so nice to have someone to talk to who can relate. Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this, sorry if it is too detailed and too long.
   
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Re: In love with a cartoon/ video game character - April 6th 2018, 03:32 PM

Welcome to TeenHelp!

It seems like you've been okay with your fondness for this character and that is a good thing especially since it hasn't stopped you from doing daily tasks. If it got in the way of your daily functioning it could be considered more of an issue.

It does seem like a good idea to tell your husband about how far your fondness for this character goes so he is aware of it. Perhaps you can sit down with him one day and let him know about things. If you don't feel comfortable verbalizing, maybe you can write him a letter and give it to him instead.

Something that came to mind while reading this (because you asked how to minimize it) would be to give yourself x amount of time each day (like fifteen minutes) to do something related to this character. And then after your time is up you can continue on with your day. Perhaps as time goes on you won't feel as much of a need, in which case you can decrease the amount of time you dedicate to him.

Do you keep stuff relating to this character in one area? You may benefit from keeping all the stuff such as stuffed animals, stories, and games, in one area so that you aren't as focused on him when you're in different areas of your home.

Is seeing a professional an option for you? If so, it may really help to see someone and get some support with this.

Best of luck to you.


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Re: In love with a cartoon/ video game character - April 6th 2018, 07:39 PM

I agree with what's been said above. It doesn't sound like the obsession stops you from doing things in your life, but it does seem to affect you, and you are concerned about if affecting your relationship with your soon to be husband.

As long as the obsession doesn't take over or get in the way of your relationship (you spend more time with your feelings for this character than your husband) then it's not bad or wrong to feel this way. It's all about managing it so that it doesn't get out of hand, perhaps setting aside a limited amount of time to think or spend time with this character and limiting the amount of space this character takes up.

It's definitely worth letting your husband to be know in advance, and hopefully he will be supportive of you.

It also sounds like you have maternal, nurturing and protective feelings for this character. Often times with obsessions (I've gone through similar things with both real and not real things) it may be related to something we are lacking in reality. Is there a way to satisfy these feelings in a safe way...perhaps looking after a pet or a plant, offering to babysit, volunteer or work with young/old/vulnerable people? Doing these things might bring out your feelings in reality so you might not be so obsessed with a character (although you may still have feelings for him, and that's okay too!)

Hope this helps a bit


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Re: In love with a cartoon/ video game character - April 9th 2018, 05:36 AM

I've taken some of your advise and started to spend only one hour a day with anything related to this character, which is at least half as much time as usual. I do keep most of my things related to this character in my bedroom and I agree that I probably have maternal, protective feelings for him and I always have really loved kids and animals. I've been planning on talking my SO into getting a puppy once we are living together. I still haven't told him how I feel as I am worried about his reaction and don't know how to word it. I don't really want to give up loving this character I just want to work on balancing my time with other people and hobbies better and hopefully get my SO to understand. I might try the writing it down idea because part of my problem with telling him is that I am a little embarrassed to admit it. Even though I am not in love with this character in the same way as my SO my feelings for him are really strong.
   
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Re: In love with a cartoon/ video game character - April 10th 2018, 12:48 PM

Spending an hour a day with this character seems like a good idea and hopefully it is something that helps you out over time.

You said you don't know exactly what to say to your partner. The nice thing about writing things down is that you can erase or rewrite as you see fit so you can articulate your feelings in the way that feels best to you.

Do keep us updated!


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Re: In love with a cartoon/ video game character - April 11th 2018, 03:28 AM

I don't know what to do. After 3 days of spending significantly less time with my character Ive been feeling very depressed about it all day and can't get him out of my head it's as though we have never been apart and now we are and I miss him. I imagine this is the same way I would feel about being separated from my own baby if I had one. I feel like it's probably wrong for me to feel this way but at the same time I want to keep loving him the same as always. I feel quite certain that even if I had a dog and a baby to love I will still love my character, I would love them all. I dont understand why I feel this way to begin with and I dont know if I can stop or if its wrong or not.
   
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Re: In love with a cartoon/ video game character - April 11th 2018, 02:12 PM

It's not wrong of you to feel depressed over not spending a lot of time with this character, and it's not wrong of you to feel this emotionally invested in this character either. Sometimes obsessions can fulfil a void or something we are missing, other times they just happen. There's no shame in that, but like everything in life, moderation is key so that it doesn't get out of hand.

You may very well continue loving this character, even with other things to love in your life, or it may wax and wane over time. Either way, it's okay.

Are you able to get professional help such as counselling at all? A counsellor will give you a safe space to explore your feelings about this character, what they mean to you, and help you to figure out how to balance your feelings. You don't need to get rid of them completely, but it's good to make sure that your feelings towards this character aren't interfering with other areas in your life.

Keep us updated


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Re: In love with a cartoon/ video game character - April 15th 2018, 04:47 PM

I definitely don't feel like my love for this character is filing any void and feel like it just happened somehow. Im not sure if that's better or worse honestly. Im finding it difficult to spend less time than usual with this character. I did talk to my fiance about all of this and he was less surprised then I thought he would be, apparently my feelings are more obvious to others then I thought. He says he doesn't mind as long as I still have time for him and I love the character in a different way then him so its not like hes competing. He also told me that I dont need to rush or try too hard to give it up since it hasnt affected us so far. I am extemely relieved and reassured after talking with him about it all. I feel so fortunate to be with someone who is so understanding and accepting. I dont want to give up this character but I will still work on limiting my time more, especially since my life is only getting busier now.

I really want to thank you both for your advice and encouragement, without it I might have just never said anythjng and I am so glad I was able to since I feel a lot better about it all now.
   
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Re: In love with a cartoon/ video game character - April 17th 2018, 08:31 PM

That makes sense

For me personally, I have a hard time trying to love more than one person at a time partly for guilt but also because it reminds me of bad times and I struggle with love in general because I feel I don't deserve it so I push it away. It feels threatening in a way. Though I have only just started exploring this with my counsellor and I shouldn't really use my own point of reference....but maybe that's similar to what you might be experiencing?


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