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Angelaa Offline
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I think i'm a ghost - June 10th 2018, 05:18 PM

Please don't judge or laugh.

Title says it all really, i think i may be a ghost. it would make so much sense. like i don't feel alive but i don't feel dead either, i'm stuck somewhere in the middle. It would also explain why my attempts haven't worked, how do you kill a ghost?. I just feel so guilty leading my friends and family to believe i'm alive when i'm not. I don't know what to do about this, i don't know how to move on.


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Re: I think i'm a ghost - June 10th 2018, 06:07 PM

Hey Angela,

No-one is going to laugh or judge.

It seems like you may be feeling a bit numb? Not full of life but not dead either, perhaps making you feel like a ghost?

Even though you might not be feeling yourself, even to the point of attempting to end your life, friends and family do care about you. There's nothing to feel guilty for. You are alive, even if you don't quite feel it. You haven't mislead anyone. I'm wondering if you have told anyone you trust how you feel? Sometimes family and friends might not know how we feel, and this can cause us to feel disconnected from them, especially if they think we are happy, when we aren't. How would you feel about talking to someone in your life about this?

Another thing is when we aren't happy with life, we can often feel numb and stop doing things we enjoy. Perhaps you can find something that helps to break this disconnection...what things do you enjoy? what do you want to do? what goals do you want to reach? When we fill our lives with doing things that are enjoyable and make us feel productive, we can feel more alive in ourselves.

Also, if you've been feeling this way for a while, it might also be worthwhile looking into professional help from a doctor or counsellor. Mental illnesses are treatable with therapy, medication and life style changes. And you deserve to live a happy life!


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Re: I think i'm a ghost - June 10th 2018, 07:00 PM

It doesn't sound silly at all! I think those of us who struggle with severe depression experience a certain amount of numbness, detachment from the world around us. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Are you able to talk to someone, such as a licensed mental health professional about this? I don't think hurting yourself is necessarily the solution to feeling something. You will, but only for a brief period while that cut or burn is aching. Finding healthier way to cope includes talking to someone. Perhaps they can place you on medication.

It is so important to remember that being on medication doesn't mean there is something horribly wrong with you! Sometimes, people's brain chemistry just does not function "normally" according to society's expectation of the word normal. Reach out, ask for help, find healthier ways to cope with the numbness. Feel free to utilize HelpLINK or Live Help if you need to.

All the best.
   
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Re: I think i'm a ghost - June 10th 2018, 07:59 PM

Hello,

I don't think that anyone will laugh at the things you are feeling. As stated, it seems like you are feeling numb. I know in the past that when I was numb I used to feel like the world around me wasn't real and I felt kind of like a ghost. You mentioned that you have attempted in the past and I am wondering if you have talked to anyone about that or the feelings of being a ghost. I know you might be worried about what they will say but you deserve to get help for this and if you are attempting to harm yourself then I would think that there are probably people around you (friend's and family) who would like to try and help.

I hope that with time you will be able to get through this. If you need anything please feel free to message me.


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Re: I think i'm a ghost - June 11th 2018, 09:14 AM

Thanks guys, i dont know what it is but it feels weird, like ive never experienced this before. I want to tell my CPN or therapist about it but im worried theyll just laugh and brush it off. I'm already on medication so i can't find any reasonable excuse for feeling like this. I know my family care, but i don't want to worry them unless i'm sure.


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Re: I think i'm a ghost - June 11th 2018, 01:17 PM

Hey,

I know the idea of telling your CPN is scary but they probably need to know so they can help figure out why you might be feeling this way and help see if they can come up with a solution. I am glad you have family and friends; I know you don't want to worry them but I imagine they'd rather know and try and support you then be kept in the dark and unable to support you.

Remember we are here to support you as well.


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Re: I think i'm a ghost - June 15th 2018, 09:32 PM

Thank you, Sadly i chickened out of telling them this week, im going away on Wednesday so hoping i feel a bit more alive after that, if not im hoping to tell my therapist when i see him next, he knew i was distracted by something today but i just couldn't face telling him.


mosaics are made from broken pieces but they’re still works of art, and so are you.

It's stormy now, but the suns gonna shine again, even the worst storms gotta end.
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Re: I think i'm a ghost - June 16th 2018, 03:12 AM

I don't think you're a chicken for not telling him. Sometimes these things are scary!

I don't have much to add but wanted to suggest that maybe you can write out what you want to say to him before going in? That way, if you get scared you can hand him the note and have everything you wanted to get out, out. Then you can talk about it from there? Alternatively, if he allows you to email him you can do that?


   
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Re: I think i'm a ghost - June 16th 2018, 02:10 PM

I'm sorry you weren't able to tell him, but don't feel bad! As Dez said, opening up about these things can be scary. I remember a couple weeks ago, I opened up to my counselor about hearing voices in my head, but not showing any other signs of schizophrenia, and she told me that was perfectly normal. A lot of us on here can relate, I'm sure.

Dez made some great suggestions. My counselor allows me to email her (but she can't write back because the server doesn't encript communication) so if your therapist allows you to, perhaps write something to them. Or, if you have a patient portal, maybe you can write something in there about this, and they can bring it up with you at the next session.

Best of luck. You are not alone here. A lot of us have that sense of detachment, numbness from the world.
   
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